whining ?

[Lorraine Manca]

This may be a little random, but maybe not everyone wants to change. It would be a lot easier to be normal, but is that really what every single one of us want? Being extremely introverted is a huge part of my personality. Changing a chunk of your personality would be the closest to annihilation without committing suicide a person could get. I think its ok people whine about it. Thats pretty big. Maybe a thousand years ago, we would have been the sages living in the woods deep in thought. We would have been respected instead of disrespected and forced to change. I'd like to think so at any rate!

 

[NormanBates]

Maybe whining is really the only way that some people can even be sociable?

Maybe someone who has only seen bad things can only talk about bad things. Otherwise they have nothing to say?

 

[NothingElseMatters]

i cant even think of the idea that anyone who is here does not really want to change.it's just that not everyone has the mental strenght to actually pull himself up from his misery and do something.for someone who is ok,lets say normal this seems weird.how comes and someone doesnt have the strength to fight it,,,,well if you haven'l lived with it you can never know.and Doesit i think you have good intentions,just not using them right...if u wanna really help,don't ask why everyone is whining...its like asking why a person with one leg is whining while seeing others having 2(which is the right amount of legs to have).just give some tips that could help us to make change happen man!

 

[mimi1988]

OK here goes why do most people here are whining ? i registered here not so long ago,and the most topics i would see here people always complaining I agree there are sometimes serious cases when a depression or SA gets really bad and life falls apart,this even happened to me not so long ago,just out of the blue one day i barrely could last few hours of work and anxiety was flowing through me that day.Now the most topics i would see here would be people feeling lonely,no relationships,no job or affraid to do anything.And still we live in the world where you need to communicate and fight every day for your happiness,and most people here choose just to speak about troubles which they have in their heads instead doing something better.I myself grew up seeing my parents working hard struggling to put food on the table every day and making my life better and it makes me feel ashamed sometimes,because the sh*t they went through is harder than any anxiety and they never gave up or showed weakness,because this is real life not a fairy tale where everyone is supposed to be nice to you and tolerant.If you wont take a chance millions of others gonna go through your head to take it.I dont want to insult any one with this post and i am just expressing my own view.Peace

I better not find a SINGLE thread or post with you "whining" (not now or in the future)! I think this is your little attempt at making you feel a little better about yourself. To you it may come off as "whining". Sometimes ppl just need to vent, and know that there is SOMEONE who cares or understands. I can't think of any threads where I have "whined" or complained, but I can understand where those folks are coming from. There are days where I feel REALLY down, and some days where I'm happy and smiling. But when I'm feeling down (and I mean really down), the last thing I want to be told is "shut up and get over it!" (which is basically what you're saying). I guess I can understand what you're saying, to an extent. But I don't think you should refer to it as "whining".

 

[Satine]

OK here goes why do most people here are whining ? i registered here not so long ago,and the most topics i would see here people always complaining I agree there are sometimes serious cases when a depression or SA gets really bad and life falls apart,this even happened to me not so long ago,just out of the blue one day i barrely could last few hours of work and anxiety was flowing through me that day.Now the most topics i would see here would be people feeling lonely,no relationships,no job or affraid to do anything.And still we live in the world where you need to communicate and fight every day for your happiness,and most people here choose just to speak about troubles which they have in their heads instead doing something better.I myself grew up seeing my parents working hard struggling to put food on the table every day and making my life better and it makes me feel ashamed sometimes,because the sh*t they went through is harder than any anxiety and they never gave up or showed weakness,because this is real life not a fairy tale where everyone is supposed to be nice to you and tolerant.If you wont take a chance millions of others gonna go through your head to take it.I dont want to insult any one with this post and i am just expressing my own view.Peace

I agree very much with what you're saying, mate. I think it's a good thing that the SA forum is here, but it needs... I don't know, more direction from mods? A specialist or two as resident members? Perhaps it would work to re-shuffle the sections a little so that negative-tone posts went in one place and positive-tone ones went in another.

I'd love to see this place being more useful, but visits here can often have a draining effect, not an empowering one. I wish that weren't the case.

I recognise that some people would just rather moan and vent, but it's a shame that that sometimes happens here at the expense of those who want to improve.

yea i guess it's true. but really we don't need people talking down to others or condescendingly about others who have a real problem with SA and just don't know how to overcome it.

Yea you said no offense. So I understand you're not really trying to offend. If I sound offensive then I apologize for it.

Im tired....

It seems reasonable to guess that SA sufferer's presence here indicates a wish to work out what the problem is and how to fix it. Others simply don't know how to ask the question, so simply complain, rather than asking, 'how do I solve X?'. Why should there not be people offering solutions?

As I said above, an arrangement where the forum had a 'positive' area and 'negative' area where people could swap between the two depending on their moods might help.

 

[doesit]

i appreciate all the opinions here,and every person has at least one good point,and i know when someone says that when your mood is really down nothing will help you then.but again if people seek for help from others they wont get it unless they themselfs will try to solve the problems they have.

 

[L Hilla]

I'm trying to be real open minded and fair to people opinions, but the last thing i needed to find on here was a thread about people whining and bitching, on a Social phobia forum. I mean i understand where youre getting at: people not trying to solve their problems and just venting about em. But still, like one has said here, that's probably just what theyre used to. I know thats what I'm used to. I know I can get 'lazy' like that. But if i dont know the person that well, im not gonna tell they to suck up and stop whining off the bat. I'm gonna really consider the emotion well being, especially on a forum like this.

 

[nephatitus]

As i said i dont want to offend any one here,i have SA like others here,and sometimes its hard to do simple things and easier to avoid situations when ure feeling like hell in your own body,and its easy to make your life even worser by divorsing from society,but to come back there is even harder.By making this thread i was hooping that some people will try a new aproach to the troubles they are having and maybe its time to start changing,to start thinking about a big picture in their life instead a small ones.

dude you should have had more farsight when you started this topic that some people might find offended, its useless to force people to change based on your own whim , heck its up to that person if they want to change. Apparently some people enjoy misery and others crawl back out but not everything is black and white unfortunatly. while you did state some obvious points in your opening response and from other members of this forum, yes this is a support forum and yes you are allowed to plead your case and just get stuff off your chest (ex:venting, whining) cause its not always great to keep things pent up inside. I could go on and on about this, which is a real drag, but you kind of made yourself into the bad guy here (just saying)