Where to find shy people?
- Thread starter emre43
- Start date
MrJones
Well-known member
I think there are dating sites for shy people and even for people with things like social phobia or similars.
Anyway there is always the traditional method, to go out and do what you like so you can meet people with similar preferences. If you go to a course to learn to play guitar you may find a girl who plays guitar. The more things you try the more girls you'll meet. Then when you meet a lot of girls you may find one you feel attracted to and she may feel the same way.
This way you will also meet a lot of girls that won't be shy or kind, of course, but well, just try again and meet new people.
Anyway there is always the traditional method, to go out and do what you like so you can meet people with similar preferences. If you go to a course to learn to play guitar you may find a girl who plays guitar. The more things you try the more girls you'll meet. Then when you meet a lot of girls you may find one you feel attracted to and she may feel the same way.
This way you will also meet a lot of girls that won't be shy or kind, of course, but well, just try again and meet new people.
Flowers-Of-Bloom
Well-known member
They're probably too busy not being social and thus not drawing attention to themselves.
As far as I am aware there is no specific place where all the shy people go to hang out (except the library, but people don't really go there to chat). Shy people are just people and to meet people you need either 1. Something in common (which could be as simple as going to the same course as each other), 2. A mutual friend. Both is better.
If it helps, introverts are usually more attracted to visual/literary arts and anything that doesn't involve large groups of people. But that was already obvious.
As far as I am aware there is no specific place where all the shy people go to hang out (except the library, but people don't really go there to chat). Shy people are just people and to meet people you need either 1. Something in common (which could be as simple as going to the same course as each other), 2. A mutual friend. Both is better.
If it helps, introverts are usually more attracted to visual/literary arts and anything that doesn't involve large groups of people. But that was already obvious.
emre43
Well-known member
Thanks for the advice. It is helpful. Just trying to think of what I am into. I suppose I quite like reading, maybe some kind of book club.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
Online! Of course, keep in mind that you want to meet someone that lives close to where you are 'cause long distance relationships are no fun.
hidwell
Well-known member
but where do they get the cooties from, chicken before the egg.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Online, for one. It doesn't even have to be a dating site specifically for shy people, either. I've met a fair share of shy folk on sites like OkCupid and PoF. If you want to try the in-person approach, quieter places like bookstores or coffee shops are good hangouts for shy people. Or, if you want to get really specific, perhaps you could look to see if there are any SA support groups in your area and go to one.
Well, I join forums, becuase I don't stand a chance meeting a girl out in the real world. Connecting with them on-line first, if I get lucky and get past the first conversation. We get to know each other, and they don't judge me (at least I don't see it).
You slowly get to know each other through conversations. If you connect well and can easily have a conversation with them in 3-5 conversations, that's a good start.
It is a lot better if it's someone who lives close to you (I know it's hard). It is possible to meet someone, who lives far away, but it's a lot harder. You gotta fly or long drive to meet them, cost money and probably adds more to your anxiety. YOu gotta plan things out, where to stay, what happens if it dosen't work out etc.
When you feel comfortable talking to them, you share more and more information about you self. Try not to bring all your problems out at once, even if you meet them on the same forums, like this. Most people don't want to hear all your drama at once. I am terrible for this, but I'm working on it, deprends on my mood how good I do.
To meet someone, first. Avoid dating sites at all costs. Most of them sell your email adrees, like SpeedDate does. Others use bots and lure you, with fake profiles. Most of the girls are fussy (some you won't believe what they put in their profiles). It's bad news. I've learned this for years, and "met" many people who had the exact same problem. It's easy for girls but very hard for men, even if you're good looking.
So, to find girls, you go on sites, that fits you most. If you have social anxiety and want to find a girl like you, or at least can understand you. Go to websites for lonely people like ALonelyLife (not the best website out there), SocialPhobiaWorld etc.
What do you do? You post, get to know the members, check their profiles and get to know them. It's like going fishing, etc it takes a really, really long time.
You have to have time and patience, and in a good mood. Don't get upset if a girl dosen't like you or dosen't respond to you. Chances are, if she dosen't, it most likely wouldn't work out anyway. That's how I look at it, I don't feel as bad.
Be positive. It's OK, to rant a little and post your porblems a little, but not a lot. You get a bad reputation on the forums and people see you as a complainer. Very hard to get someone that way. You may want to goto other forums as well that suites you are one of your interests.
Do NOT go on dating sites, as the chances are very slim in finding someone, even just getting a reply back from someone. Avoid them like the plague. I was on 3, Plenty Of Fish, OKCupid and SpeedDate. SppedDate is the worst of them all. It says you have a message (for a Bot), it asks you upgrade just to read them (wonder why...), and they sell out your email address. In a couple of weeks, you're email is filling up with more and more spam each day.
How do I know it was SpeedDate? Becuase in the name field, I put something very specific, becuase I did not trust the site. I put like a username instead of my name. Most spam addrssses say your name in the title. It said my "username" that I put in the name field. I did not use that on any other site. I cancelled my account, soon after that is when I got the spam.
If you sign up to a site you don't trust. Make another email address, specifically for sites like that. Which is what I should've done, becuase my old account is GMail, used it for years, now slowly converting over to my new one. I had to get a new Youtube account, I haven't transfered over my videos from my old Youtube page to my new one yet. With Gmail, everything is linked and you can't change it. Sites that are linked up with Google.
I can't block all the spam, becuase they are clever and tere is too many. They email address is masked by a string of code.
I'm sorry that this is long, but I hope this helps.
You slowly get to know each other through conversations. If you connect well and can easily have a conversation with them in 3-5 conversations, that's a good start.
It is a lot better if it's someone who lives close to you (I know it's hard). It is possible to meet someone, who lives far away, but it's a lot harder. You gotta fly or long drive to meet them, cost money and probably adds more to your anxiety. YOu gotta plan things out, where to stay, what happens if it dosen't work out etc.
When you feel comfortable talking to them, you share more and more information about you self. Try not to bring all your problems out at once, even if you meet them on the same forums, like this. Most people don't want to hear all your drama at once. I am terrible for this, but I'm working on it, deprends on my mood how good I do.
To meet someone, first. Avoid dating sites at all costs. Most of them sell your email adrees, like SpeedDate does. Others use bots and lure you, with fake profiles. Most of the girls are fussy (some you won't believe what they put in their profiles). It's bad news. I've learned this for years, and "met" many people who had the exact same problem. It's easy for girls but very hard for men, even if you're good looking.
So, to find girls, you go on sites, that fits you most. If you have social anxiety and want to find a girl like you, or at least can understand you. Go to websites for lonely people like ALonelyLife (not the best website out there), SocialPhobiaWorld etc.
What do you do? You post, get to know the members, check their profiles and get to know them. It's like going fishing, etc it takes a really, really long time.
You have to have time and patience, and in a good mood. Don't get upset if a girl dosen't like you or dosen't respond to you. Chances are, if she dosen't, it most likely wouldn't work out anyway. That's how I look at it, I don't feel as bad.
Be positive. It's OK, to rant a little and post your porblems a little, but not a lot. You get a bad reputation on the forums and people see you as a complainer. Very hard to get someone that way. You may want to goto other forums as well that suites you are one of your interests.
Do NOT go on dating sites, as the chances are very slim in finding someone, even just getting a reply back from someone. Avoid them like the plague. I was on 3, Plenty Of Fish, OKCupid and SpeedDate. SppedDate is the worst of them all. It says you have a message (for a Bot), it asks you upgrade just to read them (wonder why...), and they sell out your email address. In a couple of weeks, you're email is filling up with more and more spam each day.
How do I know it was SpeedDate? Becuase in the name field, I put something very specific, becuase I did not trust the site. I put like a username instead of my name. Most spam addrssses say your name in the title. It said my "username" that I put in the name field. I did not use that on any other site. I cancelled my account, soon after that is when I got the spam.
If you sign up to a site you don't trust. Make another email address, specifically for sites like that. Which is what I should've done, becuase my old account is GMail, used it for years, now slowly converting over to my new one. I had to get a new Youtube account, I haven't transfered over my videos from my old Youtube page to my new one yet. With Gmail, everything is linked and you can't change it. Sites that are linked up with Google.
I can't block all the spam, becuase they are clever and tere is too many. They email address is masked by a string of code.
I'm sorry that this is long, but I hope this helps.
Darkness_'82
Well-known member
That happened with me recently on a site (cherry blossoms). You can't trust ANY of them! I even got scammed by someone years ago on a dating site. Best to steer well clear of any "dating" site.
Chess
Well-known member
If you're in school or any activity groups, you could look for the people who seem to hang near the back or wait to be invited to participate. Last semester there was a guy next to me in the very corner of the class who didn't say a word the whole time. I kind of regret not trying to befriend him or something.
