My family really gets me down. They don't understand how much i'm held back by my anxiety. It takes so much effort for me to do anything, especially when it comes to getting and keeping a job. So they don't understand why I have been unemployed for two years after college.
I made the mistake of signing up to be a substitute teacher. The first time a subbed I was a nervous wreck, but I did it. But every time they call in the morning, I get so panicky I end up turning the job down. In the last 3 months, I've probably only worked 8 days. I have serious phobia about working, anywhere. Elementary school is expecially terrifying because my first and only experience was HORRIBLE. It was my worst nightmare. So when they called me yesterday morning for Elem. School, I turned it down. My mom heard the call and knew. Then, later in the day, they called me to be an instructional aide for the mentally disabled kids. I accepted and I felt really proud of myself! I felt so good that I actually had a job lined up. Like, hey, even though I turned down the other job, I got a different assignment that I'm more comfortable with. I wouldn't have gotten that call if I had taken the other assignment.
Well, when my mom got home I excitedly told her, and there was nothing but negativity. "Well, that's fine, but why did you turn down the other job? You need to do something. You need to take all those calls, because these days of just doing nothing are done. Blah, blah. " Not a single, "Oh, that sounds cool" just automatically negative. Now I feel so upset and defeated.
Anyone else had an experience like this?
I made the mistake of signing up to be a substitute teacher. The first time a subbed I was a nervous wreck, but I did it. But every time they call in the morning, I get so panicky I end up turning the job down. In the last 3 months, I've probably only worked 8 days. I have serious phobia about working, anywhere. Elementary school is expecially terrifying because my first and only experience was HORRIBLE. It was my worst nightmare. So when they called me yesterday morning for Elem. School, I turned it down. My mom heard the call and knew. Then, later in the day, they called me to be an instructional aide for the mentally disabled kids. I accepted and I felt really proud of myself! I felt so good that I actually had a job lined up. Like, hey, even though I turned down the other job, I got a different assignment that I'm more comfortable with. I wouldn't have gotten that call if I had taken the other assignment.
Well, when my mom got home I excitedly told her, and there was nothing but negativity. "Well, that's fine, but why did you turn down the other job? You need to do something. You need to take all those calls, because these days of just doing nothing are done. Blah, blah. " Not a single, "Oh, that sounds cool" just automatically negative. Now I feel so upset and defeated.
Anyone else had an experience like this?
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