what'swrong with online dating? I'll tell u. plz i want some support
- Thread starter Rexus
- Start date
mrb
Well-known member
You've just got so much love to share Gazza, you wanted everyone to be happy ::
yea thats right i mean how could all you girls not be happy marring me
but no fights over whos turn it is to do the washing up cos i wont put up with it , there will be a rota pinky poos , and dont think you can get round me wearing that pink fairy dress
Pink_Paula
Well-known member
yea thats right i mean how could all you girls not be happy marring me
But the pink fairy dress always works, just you wait until you see me in it then you'll change your mind :
:I think you have to go away from the "I desserve" mentality. It will just be much worse if you keep thinking that way.
Even though she is not answering your calls does not mean she has left you, maybe she just dont want to talk to anyone at the moment and the other thing is that your relationship was "only" online or via phone and you had never met, so it is a little hard to leave someone when the relationship havent been real. Not to say it couldn´t be real in the future, but I hope you see my point.
If I was you I would leave her alone for some time. Give her a week or 2. I know it sounds hard but I think it is the best you can do.
Rexus
Well-known member
Thank you. I am still in the unknown cause she didn't respond to my msg or call. I won't msg or call her only every couple of days from now. It's very hard nt knowing whats going on with her.
mrb
Well-known member
But the pink fairy dress always works, just you wait until you see me in it then you'll change your mind :
why you little flirt
but yea your probably right Why'd everyone go soft on me? I would be hoping this thread would be more interesting... In reply to Lost-Girl comment. I really do no enjoy that, and I'm sure other guys do not as well. Its just as bad as the guys who tried to get pleasured by saying w/e to a girl then ditching her. But in this case, its emotional pleasure for the girl. Its total BS I tell ya, and definitely some girls need to stop whining about nice guys if they keep doing that kind of **** to them.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
If she wants to talk to you again, maybe you should have a conversation with her and ask her what's wrong. She seems to be having issues as well... maybe she's needing some support. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you and was very unstable in the moment she said those things.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
i'm sorry guys im not really good with relations
Give her some time to cool down... Wait until she calls you. Don't call her too many times, she might not want to talk right now and have some rest.
Lost Girl
Well-known member
I appreciate that, but like I said, it was up to the point where he poured his heart out that I thought we were at the same level in regards to feelings about the whole thing, and I ended it right away when I did find out that he was more serious about it then I was. And I think you're being a little bias here saying that it was just 'emotional pleasure for the girl', because he was on that ride as well! This was a simple case of one person falling harder than the other, really.
My point is that when it comes to an online relationship, the risk of a person not taking a 'dating' scenario quite as seriously is much higher than in real life. A bit of flirtation to one person may mean much more to another, and because it is not to face, one may not be able to pick up at all that the other is developing serious feelings. There is also the added 'fantasy' element to the whole thing, where feelings may blow out of proportion because somebody may have fallen in love with the 'idea' of someone as opposed to the reality of who they really are. I believe that you really can't know anyone until you have met them and spent a good amount of time with them. Years in fact.
Dronee
1
Yeah. Agreed. Very much so. To OP: Nack's earlier viewpoint is really worth considering... It sounds harsh, but I don't believe that if someone is behaving in such a way, it's worthwhile to still go for her. Personally, I always thought that you should settle your own issues first, and if you can do that, then you can consider relationships. The idea that two people with a lot of difficulties and personal issues, somehow magically solving them together as a couple... Maybe I'm cynical, but I believe it happens only in the movies.
Luthien
Well-known member
I know you already got a ton of answers, but I hope you still get a chance to read mine. I agree that she sounds like she's in pain, you said that people with no psychological problems can't understand, well I hate to tell you but this girl has serious psychological problems. They not be the same ones you have, but they're still there.
You sound like a very sensitive and caring person, I know you care about this girl and want her to like you but you need to understand that you can't fix her or her situation. I am also very sensitive and caring and I tend to get mixed up with people who are needy of attention and love and they totally suck me dry. You might want to take this as a warning that this girl needs help, if you feel emotionally ready to help someone else, than try. But more than likely, you're suffering from SAD because you don't take care of yourself, so trying to take care of another would be very difficult and draining. It's time to take care of yourself, give yourself the love you wish she was giving you.
I know that sounds impossible, I've never quite been able to do it. But there are ways. Right now I'm working on doing inner child therapy. It was really hard to get started in it, but now that I am I think it's really helping. I can see myself when I was little as being so awesome and cool, and I can tell her that and that I love her by talking to her like she was an actual kid. It's hard to explain. I wrote about it in my blog if you'd like to read it, here's the link: Over Under
You sound like a very sensitive and caring person, I know you care about this girl and want her to like you but you need to understand that you can't fix her or her situation. I am also very sensitive and caring and I tend to get mixed up with people who are needy of attention and love and they totally suck me dry. You might want to take this as a warning that this girl needs help, if you feel emotionally ready to help someone else, than try. But more than likely, you're suffering from SAD because you don't take care of yourself, so trying to take care of another would be very difficult and draining. It's time to take care of yourself, give yourself the love you wish she was giving you.
I know that sounds impossible, I've never quite been able to do it. But there are ways. Right now I'm working on doing inner child therapy. It was really hard to get started in it, but now that I am I think it's really helping. I can see myself when I was little as being so awesome and cool, and I can tell her that and that I love her by talking to her like she was an actual kid. It's hard to explain. I wrote about it in my blog if you'd like to read it, here's the link: Over Under
Rexus
Well-known member
Thank u all for ur support. it's all cause of her ****ing father he's very religious type that wants the same religion for his daughter (sunni muslim) and won't let her marry anyone else and he won't let her travel anymore to where we were supposed to meet. She is resulting to drugs to forget and she really loves me it's so sad I'm trying to see if there's any way to work it out bt her dad seems like such big trouble and influencer on her life and decisions. I ****ing hate this, having no control over anything. i wish things were different
Luthien
Well-known member
That's what's going on with her? Well that's a horse of a different color. I guess being in the US I just assumed she was full of all the societal issues we seem to have, that make us act selfishly and treat others badly. But if this girl is actually seriously oppressed, that's totally different. You should give her whatever support you can! She's probably just lashing out in these ways because she wants to have control over her life, and this is the only way she can feel like she does. You know, there might be groups that would help her leave if her home life is excessively oppressive or dangerous, you might want to look into that for her.
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I think you mean something else, cause that's just isn't healthy... Sounds a bit more like a extreme obsession. But still OP, times like this I wish you could pull a Romeo and Juliet... My sympathy.
Dronee
1
Hmmm... so his daughter wants to convert to another religion? Yours? Or is it that she wants to be with you and retain separate religions? Muslim or not, having different religions as well as culture for each partner often don't work out well in the long run once the euphoria of 'love' wears away. You might not even get that far. Most families, Muslims or not, are still relatively conservative when it comes to religion and would try their best not to let their children get a different religion. This has been true since the earliest days and despite the 'era of enlightenment and freedom' we're in, is still true now.
But apart from that, I feel that if you really want some insights, you should tell us more details (as much as comfortable).
Rexus
Well-known member
Thank you for your support. I'll go into more detail. My parents are muslim also but from different sect (shiaa). Myself, I'm an atheist or if I do believe in a God I believe he is unjust unlike what the holy books say. I don't care about religion, I care about doing good and being kind to others. She's living in the US I am living in Lebanon. Luthien i am trying to be as much supportive but I just can't do anything being stuck in a different country. My family is well off here and my dad can get a visa to anywhere around the world, so I think I can get granted a visitor's visa to the us if I try. I'm just so confused and nothing is concrete. All I can do is let her talk to me and keep advising her to stay away from drugs and giving her as much confidence as i can. She says she wants to talk to me again today so I'll be there for her. She says it's better to leave now than surely getting rejected by her father later and ruining my life even more. She says she wants to stay feeling not awake on drugs and forget everything and I keep advising her tht shes very smart pretty able to accomplish anything and she shouldnt rely on drugs but her strong character and self esteem to get herself out of situations.
We talked a lot like this but I can't seem to get her to let go off drugs she said shell try but i feel she wont be able to. Like Luthien said I think she is oppressed and this is the only way for her to feel in control doing what her dad hates and it gives her a bit of revenge I think. Any more advice is really appreciated as i'm terribly lost now. But, I really want this girl.
We talked a lot like this but I can't seem to get her to let go off drugs she said shell try but i feel she wont be able to. Like Luthien said I think she is oppressed and this is the only way for her to feel in control doing what her dad hates and it gives her a bit of revenge I think. Any more advice is really appreciated as i'm terribly lost now. But, I really want this girl.
Just look at Iraq. Now the shia is torturing the sunni, before it was the opposite. The problem is not whether a person is the one or other, the problem is that a lot of muslims no offence, there are a lot of christians, catholics etc that are the same, unfortunately is very conservative.
5 years ago we had this case in Denmark which is still quite a chock here and got a lot of people very angry:
Ghazala Khan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It is not the start a debate, just to tell that it can be dangerous when it is different religions and they both have to be careful. If she is affraid of her father, I think she should maybe talk to the police about it.