What's this..

[Falkor]

Hi,

When I was in my best friend's house, sitting at the table with her mom & sister i felt really awkward, I was really quiet and i was stuttering and blushing and I didn't know where to look at.. I feel really bad about that situation.
Times like this, makes me feel terrible about msyelf.
And this even doesn't sound to you how bad it felt for me, I was shaking,
I was anxious, and I just don't want to experience that ever again
But I'm just afraid of being in the house of someone else, because I'm afraid what they'll think of me. And the weird thing is, I'm always afraid theyr parents or brothers&sisters will think i like my friend, as an attractive way, so i act really clumsy, while im totally not in love with them, is this OCD?
I feel like a perve.. while i'm NOTTTT!!
This drives me insane, and I can't stop worrying about this.
I'm afraid they noticed it, because I act really weird..
I hate ocd.. i hate sa..
I want to live my life.. And I can't explain this to my friends.. how should I?
I love being around my friends.. but i act no good.

XX

 

[Ignace]

Think positive, that's what you're always telling people, do it yourself too then. It's not that bad, they won't think that, they just think/see you're nervous. And hey, at least you can go to a friends' house, so it could have been worse.

 

[ilmatross]

This is exactly what my anxiety is if left unchecked

some mix of SA / agoraphobia / eye contact problem

you really have to force yourself to not think about it, I haven't slept in a day or so so I'm not gonna attempt to write out a thoughtful post just wanted you to know you're not alone ::

when i wake up ill edit in some helpful advice hopefully

 

[fife_girl]

i have the same problem, but i have it with my own family. i used to live with my mum and step das but then my sister and brother-in-law moved in and had a kid 6 months ago so i moved out cause it was too much, they were all downsatairs eating together, watching films n having a good time while i was stuck in my room feeling really lonely and isolated ;(

I moved into my dads 7 months ago and it lifted alot of stress and self hate i had, i try to make an effort to talk to him most days but i really just live in my room, its a nightmare.

i dread christmas and birthdays where i HAVE to go for dinner and that situation you have descibed is exactly what i go through, i get shaky and feel sick and on occasion when i go to the toilet just to calm down i break down in tears.

i can say i completely understand and i really hope you dont have to go through that again!

hope your ok now

....think this has been my longest post...sorry to bore u haha

 

[Feathers]

Saskia, have you tried nutrition for OCD yet?

Fife_girl, I had a Christmas with family (which is usually a crazy experience too!) and stayed away from sugar and alcohol and it went way better than expected! Can't remember if I was also gluten-free and milk-free at the time.. Might be worth a try?

Sugar makes me go yo yo and I have to stay away from it! I just tell people I might have a hypoglicemic/pre-diabetic condition or something, and they usually understand.. (I'd be too embarassed to have to explain the details like it makes me bipolar-ish or go OCD or such lol)

There's a lot on nutrition in my latest post in the thread by Soniya in the OCD sub-forum.. Do your research of course and double check things!!

 

[fife_girl]

Saskia, have you tried nutrition for OCD yet?

Fife_girl, I had a Christmas with family (which is usually a crazy experience too!) and stayed away from sugar and alcohol and it went way better than expected! Can't remember if I was also gluten-free and milk-free at the time.. Might be worth a try?

Sugar makes me go yo yo and I have to stay away from it! I just tell people I might have a hypoglicemic/pre-diabetic condition or something, and they usually understand.. (I'd be too embarassed to have to explain the details like it makes me bipolar-ish or go OCD or such lol)

There's a lot on nutrition in my latest post in the thread by Soniya in the OCD sub-forum.. Do your research of course and double check things!!

i will definately have a look tomoro my SA/AvPD is too intense on normal days let alone familly gatherings, alcohol helps me through it, i remember when i was 16 i think and i was really bad that xmas morning that i was sick and crying in the bathroom cause we were leaving to go visit familly so i took a pack of vodka shooters in my bag to have in the toilet when i got there and i had a few drinks in my room b4 we left, nobody knew. i was still my quiet self but it took the edge off i hate having to do it but was better than faking being sick and staying in my room on xmas day...was self harming quite bad at that point in my life
i think my family would be shocked if they knew how much i drank back then!!

 

[kihira]

Sitting around a table can be an uncomfortable thing, we are close and face-to-face with other people; worse if you dont know them well; we feel we have to speak; we cannot hide; if we shake we think all can see it.

It sounds like you feel judged for your sexuality? We cant control how others think, be confident in what you know is true.

 

[Falkor]

Thanks all for the reply.

@ Feathers :What's ocd nutrition? I never heard of it. Sounds interesting.
I will do anything to let this fear go away...

@Fifegirl: Wow, I feel exactly the same.For example on a b-day party I go to the bathroom and I stay there a long time to cry while I would love to be around the people and make some fun too, but I'm just freaking anxious and super nervous around people. But I have to say that it gets better, i mean, a year ago I wouldnt even show up. Now I face it.
and you don't bore me, You are def not boring, you are a cool person , fife girl

@Ignace: Thnx, good advice and yeah I face it , but still its hard , the most hard time is facing it .. and the time before I will face it.