What percentage of you actually think you'll get better?

[Spike Lee]

I just watched that entire documentary, though I probably shouldn't have because that kind of thing feeds my paranoia. Throughout it, I highly considered never going back to school. That will pass though. At any rate, what he did was very demented and cowardly. What initiative? He wasn't taking a stand against anything, he was targeting random kids from his school. His videotapes and writings were highly melodramatic and egotistical. When we have SA I realize that any incidents feel very amplified. I understand that you said you would never do such things. But there's a huge difference between him and other people who are anti-social. He obviously had an infatuation with the columbine shootings and highly admired the people who carried that out. This kind of thinking, to me, shows low insight and low intellect. Not to mention zero compassion. It was said in the documentary that he was shy and insecure in combination with being arrogant which is very dangerous. He had this inflated representation of himself in his mind but because of his SA he could never rightfully portray that. So he had all those fantasy and fantasy characters which eventually led to the idiotic, selfish thing he did. He separated himself from everyone else in such a way that everyone else was completely against him. And the thing is, any one of us with SA to whichever extent too could have been sitting in one of those classrooms and he wouldn't have cared to know that we related to him in even the tiniest way at some point. I felt sorry for him in bits in the beginning of the documentary, but I think he did quite enough of that for himself.

I don't think his personality ultimately relates to the majority of us here. There's many details of his case which made him such a person that did the things he did which aren't even present in me and many of us. I honestly don't think I have an ounce of violence in me. He had a huge ego - compared himself to freaking Moses and Jesus. If anything, I think the point of this is to further seek help for any problems and maintain a level of compassion for others even if some of us may feel excluded.

he simply gave up.

he didn't remain idle

and he didn't try to find solutions.

those are the 3 choices we have.

this thread is dedicated to that fork in the road.


you missed the point..... the thread is not about him. He only gave me the idea.

 

[Dronee]

I think for myself, just keep gathering resources (skills, money, support... etc)... try, probably fail. Suffer and suffer. Get depressed. Get back up and go to the first step. Rinse and repeat.

Maybe in one of the cycles, something good will come up.

 

[lunarla]

There's far more choices than just those. He could have done better things with initiative, obviously. I don't really see "giving up" and "not remaining idle" in the same category. Giving up is basically remaining as idle as you possibly can... he may have physically done something as an outcry or in whatever warped state of mind he was in, but what he did doesn't even qualify as taking initiative.

 

[Spike Lee]

There's far more choices than just those. He could have done better things with initiative, obviously. I don't really see "giving up" and "not remaining idle" in the same category. Giving up is basically remaining as idle as you possibly can... he may have physically done something as an outcry or in whatever warped state of mind he was in, but what he did doesn't even qualify as taking initiative.

uh huh.


done things better with initiative....

yup.

–noun
1.
an introductory act or step; leading action: to take the initiative in making friends.

unfortunately he took that initiative to do something negative.


What are we going to do?


find solutions, remain still or do some thing tragic to ourselves/or others?


hopefully we choose something positive.


but yes ultimately remaining idle is just as bad as doing what he did imo

 

[lunarla]

I know the definition of initiative, it's not necessary to try and patronize me. What I'm saying is that what he did does not qualify as initiative to me. Yes, I agree with most of your bolded remarks and have said them myself.

So

uh huh

...

 

[Spike Lee]

What I'm say is that what he did does not qualify as initiative to me.

we agree here.


where is the I love you smiley when you need it? we're very limited on this forum.

 

[mrb]

im not half as bad as i used to be ....

 

[Spike Lee]

im not half as bad as i used to be ....

how did you get better?

any suggestions?

 

[lunarla]

we agree here.


where is the I love you smiley when you need it? we're very limited on this forum.

Great, I think that's where I may have been mislead. Despite the definition of the word, I thought you were garnering his actions as something valid.

To answer the actual question of the topic, I think maybe why I have hope still is because I try my best to appreciate even the very little things that I do experience. And the thing is, I enjoy those little experiences. I don't desireeeee to be a social person and have huge lavish, meaningless experiences. I do, however, desire some social contact and to have a few close relationships. And I remain thinking that it's possible. I also think I have compassion and I'm very grateful for it. Being able to think outside myself and not make everything about me.

 

[mrb]

how did you get better?

any suggestions?

dunno mate i think iv just stopped thinking so much about evreything , its over rated i dont worry about much these days , i used to worry all the time about stupid stuff , guess iv just mellowed with age im 45 bye the way ...

 

[Spike Lee]

dunno mate i think iv just stopped thinking so much about evreything , its over rated i dont worry about much these days , i used to worry all the time about stupid stuff , guess iv just mellowed with age im 45 bye the way ...

teach me!!

 

[mrb]

teach me!!

nothing to teach mate just switch your brain off , dont worry about things , chill relax , whats the point of worring anyway , your only winding yourself up , the only person your hurting is yourself .......

 

[Spike Lee]

btw, for those who picked the "Nope, I'm too far gone option" option




what can we do as internet strangers to make your situation better?






this thread is all about solutions.

 

[Hadron]

You cannot use a logical technique to cure social anxiety (i.e. think logically about what's bothering you). I believe it's supposed to be a long process of exposure. Even people who free their minds from brainwashing don't normally do so by using logical sense (in most cases at least). Because if it was that easy, they wouldn't be brainwashed in the first place.

The sad thing is, that you will only be able to fully comprehend how twisted your train of thought is when you will actually get better.

Just to give an example: A child that's scared of the dark will not be reassured (in the vast majority of cases!) that there is nothing to be afraid of, really. No matter how much logical reasoning is used. When the child will eventually grow up, he will learn (through experience and other changes) that there is really nothing to be afraid of.

 

[Da Kid]

I personally know that I will get better, and have already made progress. Though I am still far from the point I want to be at, taking life one step at a time has made decisions simpler, and me a more full person. It's a long process and a bitch, but everybody has some kind of hope.

 

[Zaona]

.....................

 

[userremoved]

I've also made a lot of progress in my life from where I used to be. I'm not necessarily happy where I am but social situations don't terrify me like they used to. Knowledge is whats helped me make it this far. For instance, I used to think that when ever I walked into a room everyone was watching me, laughing or talking about me in some way which was terrifying. Now I know that most people don't really care what I'm doing so there's no need to be nervous. Also a lot of people here have been taught to think they're hideous looking. Which from what I've seen is also not the case. Others think they're stupid or untalented but I've seen more special skills and intellect here than in a lot of places. Actively tearing down false assumptions and getting practice interacting with people are all possible things to accomplish so I don't see why anyone can't recover. Thats where my hope comes from.

 

[xDemix]

I will get better, Because I told myself I will.

I will not be miserable, lonely, depressed, And my Life will NOT be repetitive.

I will not kill myself because that is showing that I am weak.

If you think you won't get better you won't, Just find a way to get yourself through every day.Strive towards your goal of overcoming it.When you feel down, Think of your future life, Think about what you want to accomplish .

 

[EscapeArtist]

I believe in exercise... I believe that if I were to run 5 miles a day (Not possible for me yet but i'm working up to it) I'd balance out my serotonin levels, (baseline levels raise after 60? days i believe, of consecutive exercise), and be more satisfied with my appearance... Also weight lifting seems to release something that dramatically reduces my anxiety and ups my confidence. Combine it with eating extremely well for 60 days, and it works, trust me. The voice in my head that goes "She/he's looking at me, they're talking about me, she's judging me, blahblahblah" doesn't go away, I just slowly start to believe that they're talking about me in a POSITIVE way (CRAZY I KNOW!) ahaha the cure (for me) is EXERCISE man!

 

[Anomaly]

Especially those of us who don't even make an effort to be social? What's the point of waking up everyday? You're miserable, you're lonely, your life is repetitive and you're depressed. All the while everyone around you is happy and enjoying life.

That's a great way to "validate" beliefs that would slip one further into depression.

ex:
"Everyone's happy and I'm not!"
*sees person(s) smile*
"See, I told you!"