What kind of person do you want to be?

[Riiya]

I miss the days when I was bitter, mean, and angry at the world. All I seem to do these days is liking people and wanting to understand where they're coming from. I even have to think twice before I insult someone over the internet - and many times I end up sugarcoating my insult and turning it into something that makes no sense. I think I'm getting soft in my old age, and I'm not sure this is someone I really want to be.

How about you? Liking what you've become lately?

 

[nephatitus]

no not really

 

[Psychedelicious]

Oh people

I do not like the person I've become, not that I've ever liked the person I was anyways. Who do I want to be? Uhhm I don't know really. I want to be like important, but not llike actually important because that takes work, I just want to seem important. I want to be speciallll. Just like I want lots of attention, and strange, interesting, something different, stuff like that. That's not who I am though. I still insult people though, but my insults have always been so weird. I don't know who is in insulted by being called a pinehead...

EWW THAT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING COLOR EVER!! seriously I hope no one saw, that was an accident.

 

[PhantomPod]

I want to be someone who is comfortable acting silly and like a fool, without fear of embarrassment. I just want to be care-free and to be able to act like my goofy self. At the moment I always hold my self back and don't let me silly, funny, goofy self shine.

This is one of my absolute favorite quotes:

"Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. "Yes" is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes."
- Stephen Colbert - Knox College Commencement Address, 2006

 

[Hoth]

I'd like to become soft and stop being so blunt that I offend people on the internet. What's the trick?

I don't think I've ever really changed much. It'd be nice to see some personality evolution, but even when I look back at stuff I wrote when I was 10 it's the same me. Though I do like most of my personality (my ability to avoid extreme moods, my optimistic cynicism, detached anthropological viewpoint and ability to laugh at life), I just wish I were a little nicer, able to like more different types of people, and of course a lot less anxious around people.

 

[dottie]

i am bitter and seeping with negativity. i have faced so much social rejection in the real world that i am almost totally disillusioned. i have tried to fake-it-til-you-make-it (which is so dreadfully hard but i tried!) and they still let me go because "business is slow". bullshit. they let me go because i am too awkward. it is rejection after rejection.

i want:
happiness... which comes from...
financial security... which comes from...
holding a decent job... which comes from...
being liked and maintaining respect from peers... which comes from...
joking and being silly and approachable with confidence... which comes from...
not being a socialphobe.

i am tired of being "that girl." the half-retarded, scatterbrained, uptight, nervous, skitzo mess. who wants to be friends with that? and naturally an easy target for the workplace clique to talk shit about. right now i can barely look people in the eyes and make complete sentences without slurring. this does not make for SECURITY in the real world.

i don't feel i can achieve happiness without security. independant financial security.

 

[recluse]

I want to remain modest and somewhat shy, but what i want is to be confident, funny and generally well liked by people.

 

[worrywort]

i am tired of being "that girl." the half-retarded, scatterbrained, uptight, nervous, skitzo mess. who wants to be friends with that?

I DO!!!!! ....in a room full of people, if I saw someone like you, I'd be so relieved, I'd wanna be your friend.

I like what you wrote, PhantomPod and the quote.

Who I'd like to be?

1. An artist who gets a documentary made about his life when he's dead, and people say things about how influential he was, and how strong he must've been to stay true to himself and not conform to societys rules etc etc.

2. I'd like the be the kind of person I am around my little sisters, around everybody else. I have zero anxiety around them. We just have a laugh all the time. My brain works so quickly. I say funny things and make them laugh! I say nice things. I feel like a good person around them. I feel like I'm being the best version of myself around them. I wish I could feel that freedom to be myself around EVERYBODY.

Who am I right now?

I don't know. I feel like I have a million different selfs. Like Riiya, when I was younger I felt like I had this ansgty bitter hatred for certain things, but I liked it, cause I felt I was right to hate what I hated. But sometimes I drift into fake plastic happy me where I function in society properly and I don't cause a fuss and I smile along with everyone else. But I don't like that me. I want to be real. But being real tends to lead me downward and I end up feeling more like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.