What is "dating"? How do you ask someone out on a date?

[zav943]

It's sad that, at 21, I should be asking a question like this, but I truly don't understand what it means to be dating someone? When do you officially say you're "dating" them?

Also...I wannna get in on the action! There's no one in mind for me right now, but how do I ask a girl out on a date if I like her? How well do I need to know her?

Thanks SPW!

 

[da_illest101]

It's sad that, at 21, I should be asking a question like this, but I truly don't understand what it means to be dating someone? When do you officially say you're "dating" them?

Also...I wannna get in on the action! There's no one in mind for me right now, but how do I ask a girl out on a date if I like her? How well do I need to know her?

Thanks SPW!

me too I was wondering what it meant, i already had a gf but we never date, maybe it's when you spend a lot of time with someone and both are you are thinking about being more then just friends, seriously i have no idea

 

[iamthenra]

That makes three of us... and I'm going to be 42.... From my perspective, this
life that was given to me is indeed Hell... living alone, is like living on death row.

 

[OneOh1]

when in doubt, ask wikipedia
Dating - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



I really don't know either, never dated anyone

 

[Tiercel]

I'm by no means a ladies' man, but I'd imagine that if you asked her to "go on a date" with you it probably wouldn't fly too well. Instead I'd ask her something specific, like go to dinner, get ice cream, etc. But if she doesn't feel like she knows you well enough, this won't work either.

As for when two people are officially "dating".... I'd imagine they'd reach that point when they've gone out a few times and one hasn't been rejected by the other. But then there's dating one person exclusively (for those who date more than one person at once). Actually, there are many degrees that I don't fully understand, as I haven't explored them.

But maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned about dating. Or perhaps just too technical. I figure if you go on a "date," then you're "dating." So if you want to start dating someone, take her on a date.

Either that or get out your rubber stamp and ink pad and "date" her.

 

[mads]

There is one thing I cant understand. I see the wording dating as going out with a person where you will try to see if it can lead to something else.

But often you hear, he dated her for 4 years then they got married. But if you are with someone for 4 years, then I would see it as a relationship and not dating.

If you like one, then as others say, ask her if she wants to have coffee, a drink, lunch anything

 

[Felgen]

A date means that you go out with a person you're romantically interested in to see if you can take it further from there. Asking someone out is never as hard as you'd expect it to be, and if someone is interested in you, she won't turn down your offer. If she's not interested in you, it's her loss.

 

[diesel]

ok first of all you need to set your sights on someone . texting is probably the easiest way to get in there or internet messaging but some girls prefer calling , dont worry they will ask can they ring you and its grand like , just chat .

if you wanna "get" in there you need to test the water and see if they like you too . you can flirt a little at first and if she replies positively then thats usually a good sign personally the last time i got a girl i was texting her for like 4/5 days and one phone-call . we had sex on the first date but it doesnt always go as smoothly .

to ask her out on a date i suggest you first just generally find out her interests and stuff and then come up with something from there , e.g if you both enjoy going to the cinema then just casually say " hey , did you hear _ is out now ? you wanna/going to see it ? " ... this is pretty safe because if she says yes then maybe say you wanna go too or even suggest how about going with you . if she says no then its ok too because you didnt actually ask her out with the question , you were just conversating .


there is no limit to how well or long you need to know them , girls are different . some girls are very forward and can make it easy because they might suggest the date for you . some girls may flirt a lot but beware they may be "wanna-be's" . these girls are the worst because they act like they're into it but they are usually quite innocent really and not worth the effort if you arent looking for anything serious . they play games and try to have the upper ground , basically like they are in control . also you cant control the situation or her , it has to work . if it doesnt dont push it just move on

you are officially dating when you have met more than once , are hanging out a lot and texting / talking regularily and are physical in some way . plus she will tell people you are her boyfriend and probably say " would you ever cheat on me ? " if this is said then she considers herself with you . if you want a girlfriend remember she has to be your friend too not just someone you fancy .

this is just a few things i know from my own experiences , its a game really . sometimes you win , sometimes you lose .

 

[Fighter86]

I think texting is good, its take the anxiety out of you actually having to ask her. Also, it is better if you don't know the girl that well, or if you aren't sure if she feels the same, as it can be quite strange (at least to me) to just call someone out of the blue asking if they want to do something with you.

 

[Luke1993]

ok first of all you need to set your sights on someone . texting is probably the easiest way to get in there or internet messaging but some girls prefer calling , dont worry they will ask can they ring you and its grand like , just chat .

if you wanna "get" in there you need to test the water and see if they like you too . you can flirt a little at first and if she replies positively then thats usually a good sign personally the last time i got a girl i was texting her for like 4/5 days and one phone-call . we had sex on the first date but it doesnt always go as smoothly .

to ask her out on a date i suggest you first just generally find out her interests and stuff and then come up with something from there , e.g if you both enjoy going to the cinema then just casually say " hey , did you hear _ is out now ? you wanna/going to see it ? " ... this is pretty safe because if she says yes then maybe say you wanna go too or even suggest how about going with you . if she says no then its ok too because you didnt actually ask her out with the question , you were just conversating .


there is no limit to how well or long you need to know them , girls are different . some girls are very forward and can make it easy because they might suggest the date for you . some girls may flirt a lot but beware they may be "wanna-be's" . these girls are the worst because they act like they're into it but they are usually quite innocent really and not worth the effort if you arent looking for anything serious . they play games and try to have the upper ground , basically like they are in control . also you cant control the situation or her , it has to work . if it doesnt dont push it just move on

you are officially dating when you have met more than once , are hanging out a lot and texting / talking regularily and are physical in some way . plus she will tell people you are her boyfriend and probably say " would you ever cheat on me ? " if this is said then she considers herself with you . if you want a girlfriend remember she has to be your friend too not just someone you fancy .

this is just a few things i know from my own experiences , its a game really . sometimes you win , sometimes you lose .

Okay first of all this great! Thank you so much for explaining this!

Secondly, I have two questions! The girl who you were texting, how did you meet her? And, you say about flirting in the phone calls, can you like give some examples of like flirting and stuff?

 

[Haruhiist]

I've never dated before too, but I feel it's getting close, yet so far away.

I'm in this uni now, where I meet the people with the same interests. Before, in high school, maybe girls fell for me, but they never approached me (neither did I approach them), because 1) high school people are shallow, 2) you don't know each other as well as in a small class where everyone shares the same interests.

So, I don't know, but: recently this year, I feel like I have success with the females. They flirt, some of them obviously are interested, and act shy around me sometimes.
One even asked if I'm single or not, that's quite a hint I think.

But as you probably have guessed, I've got S.A. And I've never dated before, so I don't know how to handle these girls. I'm their friend in some sort of way (not even a close friend, or a friend you would tell things to), but just an acquaintance of some sort. Someone you get along with. I wish I could make the big move and ask the girl out.

I kind of know what I should do, like as Diesel stated: imply that you want to watch a movie or something. But I just can't do it, out of emberrassment. I don't even know what I should do on the date, like after the movie or anything.

Gah, I talked more about myself now, instead of helping you.
However, if you want to know if a girl's interested, I know a good article.

How to Tell when a Girl Is Interested in You - wikiHow

 

[Hellhound]

Gah, I talked more about myself now, instead of helping you.
However, if you want to know if a girl's interested, I know a good article.

How to Tell when a Girl Is Interested in You - wikiHow

Hmm... I wouldn't trust something like that. Remember that not all girls are the same, therefore they don't act the same. Just an opinion

 

[Felgen]

Hmm... I wouldn't trust something like that. Remember that not all girls are the same, therefore they don't act the same. Just an opinion

This article points out this fact. It shows how different girls are when it comes to showing their interest in you.

 

[Hellhound]

This article points out this fact. It shows how different girls are when it comes to showing their interest in you.

Ok, good

 

[diesel]

Okay first of all this great! Thank you so much for explaining this!

Secondly, I have two questions! The girl who you were texting, how did you meet her? And, you say about flirting in the phone calls, can you like give some examples of like flirting and stuff?

well i met her online 2 and a half weeks ago and then got with her a few days later . it was on friendzii actually , she smiled at me on it and i took it from there .

well it depends on the girl like . if she is a "dirty" girl then really you can say pretty much anything even what you wanna do to/with her , it can really help move things along . subtle flirting is like if she says " im bored " in a text then you might say back " not if i was there " . this is suggestive and not too forward . if she replies positively then great but if she dont then she mightn't be interested .

for phonecalls its pretty much the same , a classic is if you are friendly and jokin , ask her in a voice what she is wearing . DO NOT ask in a serious voice as that will sound creepy , like in a flirtatious voice if you know she is flirty or an almost comical voice if not because again if it goes wrong then just say you were joking . like they are people too so you can just talk and pick your moments to flirt . you can even ask her what kind of girl she is , shy , flirty , dirty , friendly , etc .....

 

[Haruhiist]

Hmm... I wouldn't trust something like that. Remember that not all girls are the same, therefore they don't act the same. Just an opinion

It's exactly as Felgen said, every girl react in another way, and the article SUGGESTS all these signs. I mean, if you recognize one of these signs, you should be happy.