what does a successful life mean to you?

Opaline

Opaline

1
You know, several years ago I believed in the American Dream version of success. I really did. I found it inconceivable (I can't use that word without thinking of The Princess Bride, haha) that anyone could be truly happy without a good career and money and nice house, blah blah blah.

Now, I would have to say that my own definition of success has been wittled down so much that all I would REALLY TRULY want, the ONE thing in this lifetime that (I think) would make me feel content, is to be free of social anxiety. Because relationships matter more to me than any amount of money or material things. Sure people can be fickle, and money doesn't hurt your feelings or leave you (unless you spend it all). But, I suppose because of a lack of them, relationships are more like gold to me than gold itself.

Why are my posts always so long? I can never keep them short and sweet.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
What is ''successful'' and ''unsuccessful'' in this context if not just other words for ''good'' and ''bad''. I won't know whether my life is successful until the very end of it - because only then I can objectively value all that I have done and experienced.

So far however, it's an chaotic endeavour that is as vibrant as it is confusing. It's been often truly horrible, and occasionally briefly great.
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
Opaline said:
You know, several years ago I believed in the American Dream version of success. I really did. I found it inconceivable (I can't use that word without thinking of The Princess Bride, haha) that anyone could be truly happy without a good career and money and nice house, blah blah blah.

Now, I would have to say that my own definition of success has been wittled down so much that all I would REALLY TRULY want, the ONE thing in this lifetime that (I think) would make me feel content, is to be free of social anxiety. Because relationships matter more to me than any amount of money or material things. Sure people can be fickle, and money doesn't hurt your feelings or leave you (unless you spend it all). But, I suppose because of a lack of them, relationships are more like gold to me than gold itself.

Why are my posts always so long? I can never keep them short and sweet.
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I think most people's main goal in life is getting married and having children. People definitely put relationships above all else. It actually took me a while to realize this because I put knowledge and growth as being most important. However, I would agree that being "successful" is usually discussed in terms of money and career and status.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Livemylife said:
I think most people's main goal in life is getting married and having children. People definitely put relationships above all else. It actually took me a while to realize this because I put knowledge and growth as being most important. However, I would agree that being "successful" is usually discussed in terms of money and career and status.
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I think you're right, people do have getting married/having children as one of their main goals. And yet, when you ask them what they think "success" is, they talk about it in terms of material things. Huh :thinking: Why doesn't "getting married" go under the "successful" category then? Maybe it would be more appropriate if it were "make my marriage work for life", haha. Interesting, never thought about all of this in this way before.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
planetweirdo said:
what do a successful life mean to you? what is an unsuccessful life?
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^ I find you have to be careful about who you are around when commenting about that topic. Often if you know your opinion of what makes a successful life is different to what "society" dictates eg. Money, big house, flash cars etc. then you can't be honest and express your different views around someone who agrees with societies measures of success.

They will more often then not, cut you down and give you several reasons why the "lessor important' things like family relationships, raising happy children, a customized goal of self-actualization etc. are NOT true measures of success. I think that is sad.

Opaline said:
..... found it inconceivable (I can't use that word without thinking of The Princess Bride, haha) that anyone could be truly happy without a good career and money and nice house.........
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^I am instantly and always reminded of how it was used in that movie too. I even "hear" the way he says it in my mind when I read that word in literature. lol "inconceeeeeivabble"

Opaline said:
Why are my posts always so long? I can never keep them short and sweet.
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^I like reading your long posts, Opal. Each paragraph is thought provoking, you never just ramble on. .....Not that there is anything wrong with rambling.....:giggle:
 
R

Rawz

Well-known member
A successful life...I guess I can't say with 100% accuracy what a successful life would be for me since I'm only 21. Things change, ya know?

Currently though, my idea of a successful life (and what I am working on) is becoming very skilled in things that interest me. Guitar, probably drums, Drawing, Fractal art, programming, and possibly other things. I would like to be good enough at some form of art to make some money doing it. Not a full time job, but I guess part time work. Side income. Traveling a lot and experiencing the awesome things different states and countries have to offer would be another thing. Lastly, learning. Becoming intelligent. Oh! And also, becoming very strong (physically). Maybe learning Karate or other similar things.
 
planetweirdo

planetweirdo

Well-known member
Thanks a lot for all of your feedback! As a person that have dropped out of high school because of anxiety and only have a GED, and have never had a job, or much money. I'm glad that there are so many people here that wouldn't consider me a loser. :)


BlueDays said:
^ I find you have to be careful about who you are around when commenting about that topic. Often if you know your opinion of what makes a successful life is different to what "society" dictates eg. Money, big house, flash cars etc. then you can't be honest and express your different views around someone who agrees with societies measures of success.

They will more often then not, cut you down and give you several reasons why the "lessor important' things like family relationships, raising happy children, a customized goal of self-actualization etc. are NOT true measures of success. I think that is sad.
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Very true. it's hard for me to not worry about measuring up to society's concepts of success, but I try not to.
 
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Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
Opaline said:
I think you're right, people do have getting married/having children as one of their main goals. And yet, when you ask them what they think "success" is, they talk about it in terms of material things. Huh :thinking: Why doesn't "getting married" go under the "successful" category then? Maybe it would be more appropriate if it were "make my marriage work for life", haha. Interesting, never thought about all of this in this way before.
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In American society at least, being successful would be like starting a business from scratch and becoming rich from it. Fame also seems to be equated with success. I mean getting married doesn't really take any sort of work...People go after a mate naturally since that was already an important thing to them. From what I've gathered, people naturally have a strong desire to "find someone," and they make that a top goal. This desire is absent in me. Yes, making the marriage work is the difficult part. I think that would be called a successful marriage.
 
R

Rawz

Well-known member
planetweirdo said:
Thanks a lot for all of your feedback! As a person that have dropped out of high school because of anxiety and only have a GED, and have never had a job, or much money. I'm glad that there are so many people here that wouldn't consider me a loser. :)
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I don't think you're a loser.

I did actually drop out of high school and got a GED, but I was home schooled and at the time I didn't know I was dropping out. My mom didn't explain it good enough and I didn't understand until after I had taken the test(s) for a GED. It was probably for the best though.

I think you just need to get creative when it comes to jobs, money, living. You need to be paying for a house AND a car AND internet AND cable TV AND, and, etc... The more money you get for less amount of effort, the easier and more comfortable life CAN be, sure... and it can take more effort and be trickier living on less money, I don't think it has to be really hard or really stressful.

You just have to figure out what is most important to you, and what you can and cannot handle.

I think creativity is one of the key things. Unfortunately I have almost no creativity.

Sorry for my rambling. ::p:
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
Stylish with a great career, wide circle of supportive friends and family, and a wonderful top notch partner.
 
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