what do people talk about other than common interests?

[CrazyGirl]

I envy those people who are very sociable, confident, and outgoing. I can barely hold a conversation with anyone or joke about something. I suck at ALL passive sports, which don't require much physical activity because of my health, that I was interested in trying even at bowling which I wish I was at least sort of good at. All I do is throw gutter balls most of the time. What do people talk about other than common interests?

Because I'm such a homebody and work odd hours, I've experimented with online dating recently. Not much luck.

 

[recluse]

I also envy those sociable people who can magically make a convo out of nothing.

I notice that most convo's are shallow and consist of people talking about getting drunk the night before etc, for a hermit like me i have little to talk about. I have lots of hobbies but i don't like to talk about myself.

A lot of the time i simply can't be bothered to talk.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I have a rather... random type of mind, so I tend to not talk about what is obvious and already laid out to talk about.

You can make a conversation out of any topic-- but it's probably practice and humor that will extend the conversation and make it worthwhile at all.

Talk about things you like or feel passionate about-- even if it's not a common interest. Educate eachother on different things.
Some people do actually enjoy being educated.
People who couldn't care less about whether you talk about climate change or the Kardashians might not be worth focusing too much attention on, anyways.

 

[montejocarlo]

in my experience, being interested is important. the more curious you are, the more you ask, and the longer you talk. it also takes your attention away from yourself, which is usually the problem. for people with SA, it's common to find ourselves spacing out during a conversation. it's either we're thinking what to say next, or worrying what the other person's opinion of us might be. but it's important to let go. allow the conversation to flow naturally. there are no rules. when you're bound by guidelines, even a supposedly successful chat becomes unfulfilling and superficial.

 

[Roman Legion]

I agree with the OP, online dating really sucks!

 

[MikeyC]

Talk about things you like or feel passionate about-- even if it's not a common interest. Educate eachother on different things.

Absolutely. It's part of a good friendship to listen and talk to each other about things that may not interest you too much, and you might even like it.