Was made fun of today

[Emily_G]

And man do I feel crappy I am a 23 year old woman, have a wonderful husband, a son on the way...yet emotionally I go straight back to middle and high school when things like this happen....

I had to go in my front yard to get a neighbor dog that got out of his yard. I have always been overweight/obese and I am 7 1/2 months pregnant....so bigger than I normally am, but not by much. So I got the neighbor dog back to his yard and was walking home when I saw these two kids at the park across the street. They were probably 15 or so, boys...of course. Nothing against teen boys, I've just always been made fun of more by boys than girls. Anyways, I couldn't hear what they were saying...but, as probably some of you know, when you're made fun of your whole life because of a certain thing (for me it's my weight) you just "know" when someone is making fun of you. They were looking at me and laughing really hard, then when I went inside my house I stupidly looked out the window and they were doing the "hour glass shape" thing with their hands but doing it really fat and with multiple rolls. Ugh! I feel so crappy. I went straight back to Jr high school and high school...I felt fat, ugly, worthless, and like I never wanted to eat again. Of course for the baby I will eat again today...if I wasn't pregnant I may not have. I haven't been made fun of in years...I didn't forget how it felt really, it just hurt so bad and opened a lot of old wounds that have never fully healed after years of being teased because of my weight. I cried for a bit and now I just feel a little numb. I wish I had enough money to go talk to someone about these issues...I think I would be able to deal with things like this easier.

Sorry for the wall of text.

 

[Dronee]

Sorry you had to go through that. We might think that almost everyone else is 'matured' and can handle things well... but almost everyone has issues they are sensitive with.

I've been put down due to my stupidity (not street smart and just plain dumb really) quite often as a youth. It's not the exact same issue, but I can relate to some of what you say. For myself, I usually try to focus on some activity if I feel like I'm really, really down or frustrated or downright depressed at something. Something like painting, gaming, sports, hobbies... etc.

All the best with you and your family. Ignore those kids. They're just kids and... I used to think that I was the one with problems. I still do, but I come to realize that these people often have never tasted the touch of pain. Real pain. They never knew or otherwise they knew and still they had to do it to others what was done to them... It's their weakness, not ours.

 

[mrb]

thats teenage kids for you , always finding something horrible to say to people , dont worry about what those idiots said , hey lol you should have set the dog on them , then shouted whilst there being bitten whos laughing now

 

[Hellhound]

Some kids are just immature like that

 

[Dronee]

Some kids are just immature like that

Not just kids though... I think that's the sad part.

 

[Emily_G]

My self-esteem is so much higher than in elementary, Jr. high, and high school....I'm surprised this bothered me as much as it did. Maybe it's cause I'm hormanal as well...or maybe my self esteem isn't as high as I thought it was :: Or a combination of both I guess. Poor baby, I haven't eaten much of anything today....ugh!

 

[agoraphobickatie]

It's their weakness, not ours.

those five words are pretty powerful and mean a whole lot.. i'm sorry you're upset, emily =/ there are things that you, and i and everyone else on this forum have been through that may make us seem different, but struggle gives us a lot more than it takes, we just have to see it that way. don't let those boys or negative people hold any value to you, they have no idea who you are, but you can read their entire lives just by their actions.. you'll be such an amazing mother because of your understanding of so much that kids have to go through! maybe zane (i love that name!) will be born on my birthday! june 20th! best wishes, i hope you feel better soon!!

 

[mrb]

My self-esteem is so much higher than in elementary, Jr. high, and high school....I'm surprised this bothered me as much as it did. Maybe it's cause I'm hormanal as well...or maybe my self esteem isn't as high as I thought it was :: Or a combination of both I guess. Poor baby, I haven't eaten much of anything today....ugh!

oh come on emily your bigger than those idiots , feed your baby and forget about it .... your doing great lol you have a baby on the way , be happy , a new life to bring into the world something to look forward to hey lol there is nothing better you can do in life , than bring new life into the world , be proud of that ....

 

[Hellhound]

Not just kids though... I think that's the sad part.

Indeed ::

 

[Krista]

Let me just tell you that you (from what I know) are a beautiful person. Never doubt that. I know how it hurts to be made fun of and I think at any age it's always going to make people feel like that but you should remember that people and society are asses, the majority of them at least. They say cruel things because it makes them feel better but that never means it's true. When something like this happens it's best to remember the important things that matter to you:

-They're just immature boys and they'll think like that because that's how they've grown up.

-You're married to a man you love, he thinks you're beautiful every single day and his opinion is the only one that matters in the end.

-You've got a family started and they're your rock. Don't feel sad because you're always loved by them.

 

[Emily_G]

Thanks everyone for their encouraging words I feel better today. I had to get dressed up for church last night...well not dressed up exactly, just put on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, I brushed my hair out, put on some make up....anyways, I looked in the mirror at my growing pregnant belly and said "ya know, I look pretty! screw it" Of course that feeling went away and was replaced by the negative feelings again later. But back in the day where this happened on a daily basis I would not have thought that at all, so my self-esteem is higher and things are looking up.

DH and I talked some about it last night in bed. He felt really awful and offered to run them over with his truck, hahaha just kidding of course..ha. We shared stories about being made fun of over the years, it made me feel better just to talk about it with him. He's great.

Anyways, I feel better today, thanks everyone for reading and replying yesterday

 

[arsenalwa]

I'm glad you feel better

 

[theslowesthand]

Imho cruel personal comments + laughter = the most damage that humans can inflict or be inflicted with (ie the nastiest "ridicule" possible). As it is nasty/violent/hateful/disrespectful/etc, attacks the self-esteem of the individual, it (seemingly) is done with JOY (which = evil), and also makes it seem like the abuser is happier overall & due to saying the insult.
The feelings are really TOO MUCH to "handle" ALL AT ONCE (rejection, shame, humiliation, self-hatred, loneliness, anger,...) (it's BARELY possible to handle just ONE of those feelings at any one time!!). And that's just the damage caused AT THE TIME. The event can be continued to be thought of (& maybe reacted to) for YEARS later, and MAYBE for the rest of lifetime!!!. I can't think of anything else in life that can cause so much damage.

And about the abusers: It makes you WONDER why any so-called "humans" NEED to sink to this level. It's like they're craving to wreak not just SOME damage, or a "REASONABLE" amount of damage, but the MAXIMUM-POSSIBLE DAMAGE on their targets. They must be REALLY REALLY ANGRY or something. Are they trying to take (MAJOR) REVENGE on the world? Or what?
It's a sure bet that they don't view themselves too highly either. People tend to treat/view others how they treat/view themselves. If those boys suddenly became obese, then they would HATE themselves for being such, JUST LIKE they "HATE" you for being as such (in fact probably significantly more, as then THEY would have it). Really, the "you" in this is not really relevant, as it's ALL about the "THING" that you "HAVE" or "OWN". Proof of this, that it's NOT "personal", is that if suddenly your weight went right down, then they would IMMEDIATELY cease to ridicule you (unless of course if there's something in your personality which you "have", that "troubles" their poor little minds)