Walking around in public...

[Outshined]

I don't know why, but now more than ever I've been having a hard time walking around my college campus. I know this sounds different, but it seems like more than a few people I walk by have to glance at me nearly the whole time until we pass. It's unsettling. I never stare at others, and in fact, I usually make it a point to not make eye contact and just gaze ahead casually. It always makes my anxiety kick in, and it takes me a little while until I regain my nerve. Wtf? I hate being in the spotlight, but I'm not that paranoid about it.
I realize my anxiety is what exaggerates the problem, but what can I do? Is there anyone else with a similar problem?

 

[Harleyq]

Maybe some people are staring at you because you're just that sexy? I'm not even joking, that could be it. I've seen plenty of guys and girls at my campus stare down people they think are good-looking.

Also, do you think you might be convincing yourself when people are staring at you when they're not? Or that they're staring at you longer than you think? It's kind of natural to glance at people close to you in proximity but maybe they're not staring for as long as you think they are. I've noticed that sometimes things that take a few seconds seem to last a lot longer when I'm anxious.

I get that way, too. I try to avoid walking past people or walking to close to somebody. I take a longer route to my classes because there are fewer people along the way. I either look straight ahead, I look down, or I try concentrate on my breathing to keep calm.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i always agree with you harleyq! right on! haha... seriously, though.. people may be looking at you because they simply like the way you look, they may be wanting you to reciprocate and make them feel that much better about themselves, ha! and also, if i'm walking by someone and they see me looking at them, i will just flash the polite smile anyway so that they don't see me looking and then quickly look away when they notice, does that make sense? lol.. anywho, try to just walk past them and put that look in the past, it's all over now! studies have shown that people in public areas are all more worried about what others are thinking about them anyway! you could have that in common!

 

[Harleyq]

I think the advice to flash a quick little smile is way better than what I put, lol. So I agree with Endymion and agoraphobickatie.

If they don't smile back, don't worry. Chances are, it's not you, it's them.

 

[PennyLane]

If it helps I only ever stare at someone who I think is good looking or has something interesting about them. If I thought someone was 'weird' or you know drew attention for another reason I would purposefully look away so as not to seem rude.

Most of the time if people are continually looking I'd say its a positive thing!

I like what Endymion said about smiling at them...seems like a good idea.

 

[Outshined]

Wow I appreciate all the replies. Harleyq, I know exactly what you mean how the anxiety makes it feel so dragged out. My mind starts to race, and I start to look down or away. I had a hard time posting this, because I didn't want to come off the wrong way. I don't know why people would have any interest looking at me. Regardless, I felt better today. I'm trying my best to just not think about it.

 

[highlighter00]

Is that you in the picture??? If you are,,,well, I think people are staring at you because you're interesting.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

... but it seems like more than a few people I walk by have to glance at me nearly the whole time until we pass. It's unsettling. I never stare at others, and in fact, I usually make it a point to not make eye contact and just gaze ahead casually. It always makes my anxiety kick in . Wtf? I hate being in the spotlight, but I'm not that paranoid about it...I realize my anxiety is what exaggerates the problem, but what can I do? Is there anyone else with a similar problem?

I don't think that people are looking at me for negative reasons but I still would rather them not stare.
I've been able to walk by people and not notice that they were staring but I have to work on it some more. Over the years, I have gotten more used to people staring to the point where I just ignore it. Listenning to music helps me when I'm out and about but I want to get to the point where I do not care and I don't notice at all. Sometimes it is flattering that people stare at me because I'm pretty and sometimes I can seriously do without it. In the end, I realized that people are going to stare whether I like it or not so I have no choice but to get used to it. People are entitled to stare if they wish but they have no entitlement to do so when it makes another person uncomfortable. Just remember that not everyone has a sense of boundaries. Just because I was raised to believe that it is rude to stare does not mean that others share this belief. I know that others in the past have seen that I was uncomfortable and they would smile to show that they meant not harm, but it still got on my nerves. If they can tell that I am uncomfortable then ideally they should just look the f**k away!

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I think the advice to flash a quick little smile is way better than what I put, lol. So I agree with Endymion and agoraphobickatie.

If they don't smile back, don't worry. Chances are, it's not you, it's them.

I find that people who don't return my smile don't necessarily mean any harm. Sometimes one doesn't get enough time to respond. I've had someone smile at me and I just gave them a stoic sort of expression. I didn't mean to not smile back but I'm just not used to smiling at people. Smiling people aren't necessarily friendly. Smiling and friendliness can be used to manipulate. I have found that people can be very serious and stoic but they're still good people.

It doesn't help that I've had men think that I was interested in them just because I gave them a friendly smile. Some women might even get freaked out because they think you're trying to hit on them. So smiling isn't always the thing to do.

 

[Lonelykitsune]

Yeah i hate it,i feel like everyones staring(but thir not)i just try to look ahead and ignore pope(specially boys)who make sounds like errrrrrgggggghhhhh at me as i walk by,or try to push each other so thy bump into me.

 

[Interzone]

It depends where I walk. I feel extremely uncomfortable walking around my university campus yet at some other public place I don't. It's odd.

 

[BrokenSailor]

And I thought I was the only one in the universe that struggled with this. I've always noticed how people STARED at me out in public. Walking down looong corridors alone while people watched has become a great fear of mine. Walking on the sidewalk next to cars or crossing intersections would be death to me. I'm awkward, uncoordinated, and a wobbly mess on my own two feet. Knowing people are watching me walk makes me lose my balance. I Hate standing in line cause my legs tremble but that could be an entire post in itself. I think my fear stems from high school. I remember walking up to school alone towards the double-doored entrance where a group of kids were sitting and they stared at me the entire walk..it was a few yards. When I finally reached them one douche called me a fag (I'm gay yes but damn fag is a harsh word) then the rest of the kids laughed. I was humiliated and since then I always fear walking towards people, away, or just around anyone for fearof judgement. I look sooo awkward when I walk lol but before I ramble Im just happy I'm not the only one.

 

[Hellhound]

I hate walking in public... always fearing they might be looking at me, making fun of the way i walk or how i dress. My walking turns weird from being so nervous which makes me even more paranoid x.x...

 

[Crawling]

I hate walking in public... always fearing they might be looking at me, making fun of the way i walk or how i dress. My walking turns weird from being so nervous which makes me even more paranoid x.x...

That is how I feel I hate walking around in public.

 

[Why]

i ALWAYS have my ipod on when i walk alone on campus, so im sorta detached from the world lol. but yeah sometimes i have the feeling im being stared at

 

[wayfarerfree]

This might sound stupid , or useless, or both...but I found that walking on my own, ie, going for walks in the countryside, where you build a good stride up, has enabled me to walk in a less conscious way in public, urban, or close environments. I suppose you get the time to feel at ease with your stance that way, and its almost like you've built up some form of armour. Ive found exercise can help alleviate a lot of anxiety, or at least allow you to forget it... for a while. Helps you feel good about yourself physically, which is a good starting point, and by exercise, Im not talking about all the macho pumping iron twaddle, just simple getting out and about. Swimming, for me, is almost better than sex. Almost. But not quite.

But that particular public anxiety plagued a hell of lot of my life when I was in my teens and early twenties. I rarely get it now unless Im really down.
That was a really intriguing point, that everyone in public places is probably self conscious about people looking at them. Thats so simple and true.

Riddick : "Its an animal thing."

 

[buzz22]

I used to have big problems with walking to school, especially if I was on my own!
The road to the school was a long straight road and there would always be a big queue of traffic on it and I just felt as if everyone was straring at me :O

 

[kknight]

If you're walking past someone and this guy keeps staring, stare back and give him this look like "WTF?" and if he doesn't look away. Just stare back with big eyes and make fun of that person. I do hate that when I'm walking toward someone and this person just stares at me the whole time. I just let him/her know that you're being f***ing rude and stop staring. I'll go as far as look back at him/her until he/she looks away but I do think it's silly. I try to give people their own taste of medicine. If you can stare at me, I'll do it back and see how you feel like it. Normally I'm respectful toward others, I never look more then a few seconds at someone. I can tell people who don't like to be stared at or don't care.

You just need to manly up. If it bothers you, confront with him/her. If you watch any of Micheal Douglas movies, he's got that saying when anyone stares at him, he's like "What the F**K are you looking at?!". I've used this line a few times...