Typical SAD/ girl issues

[UnOccupied]

I finally am talking regularly to a girl i have liked for TWO years. She has made it clear that she likes me in many ways. But, whenever this happens, i get SOOOO nervous! I cannot handle a girl liking me! Even though i have liked this girl for two years, and she is perfect for me, i still get soooo nervous. How weird is this!?

Like, even with text messages. I can't send one without thinking so much, and it takes me so long to get the negative thoughts and feelings out of my head. UHHH, i dont know how to just calm down, and be myself! Well, i don't even know how to be myself, so there we go again.

 

[fitftw]

I liked this girl back in college. For 2 years also we were like best pals. Well one day I told her my feelings changed from friend to something else and I had to tell her because it was killing me inside. Turns out we don't talk anymore. I partially blame the Navy for keeping me away for 4 years, but I know she really just didn't want to take the step with me. Oh well. C'est la vie.

 

[UnOccupied]

^^ sorry that happened to you.

I know if i told this girl i liked her, she would be very happy, and we would probably date or something. But the thought of taking this girl to something as simple as lunch scares the SH!T out of me!

I guess the reality is this: Maybe, i am blowing the situation out of proportion a little, or a lot, who knows. But, perhaps this situation will not be AS bad as my negative thoughts are making it out to be. I am sure we would go to lunch, have a few laughs, joke around a little, and probably even meet up again afterwards. I mean, after all, this girl does, IN FACT like me! If i just stay calm, slow down, and remember its just a casual friendly date, my thoughts shouldn't be able to race away from me. And heck, even if they do, who cares, right? I bet this girl would like me if i was anxious, or if i was feeling normal, either way, she has seen me in both moods before and STILL talks to me. Also, she is so beautiful, and looking into her deep blue eyes(the few times i have the courage to) makes me the happiest man in the world. And, the mere thought of looking into her eyes brings a calm, cool, everything is going to be alright sort of feeling throughout my entire body.

Ahhh, i know i MUST just go for it sooner or later. I have told myself for too many years that i will just wait until i feel better to do something. But, really, my anxiety is not AS bad as my anxiety makes it out to be...if that makes sense to anyone else but me, i hope it does. I know that waiting until the "time is right" never works for me, and it will just cause me to be in this dull, unknowing, unnecessary state for more time. I mean, after all what do i have to lose, right? The sheer fact that i am even talking to this girl is enough to satisfy me for a few years. After all, i havnt had even this type of situation for over four years. I am now 20 years old, there is NO reason for me to not take a risk. Heck, if i lived 100 years ago, i'd probably have 3 kids by now, haha, my sense of humors a little weird, i know, but i thought that was funny. Ok, now that made me self concious and nervous, so i am going to end this post.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading, hope it wasn't too dull. Goodnight!





Oh, also...Is there any type of blog thing on this site? I know its random, but i feel like my thoughts are so sporadic throughout a day, that they need a blog to be kept organized, ahah.

 

[Acegame]

Maybe you can just write her a nice letter and tell her you like her. And maybe explain what you are dealing with (or maybe not). A letter is always easier than an actual date. And also easier to express your feelings.

By the way, she probably likes you because you are a little shy (are you?). And think of what a great confidence boost it would be for you if it goes well. You could set a major step into the right direction beating your SA. Try to force yourself to these thoughts.

Good luck man! I wish there was a girl who liked me at the moment

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

"I partially blame the Navy for keeping me away for 4 years"

you were in the Navy?

 

[UnOccupied]

Thanks Ace. I like the part about how she likes me because i am shy. Haha, thats funny, but probably true. And, when i do start to open up, she seems to think im real funny. Well, truthfully, i know i am a funny person, i just always fear people think im being a douche when im just trying to have a laugh, so i tend to just shut my mouth.

I decided i am going to try my best to ask her out to lunch tomorrow. There is about a 50 50 chance i will actually do it though, haha.

 

[Feathers]

YAY UnO!! YOU GO!!

Hm, maybe asking her to go with you for a drink, like a cup of tea or coffee would be easier? And/or you guys could just take a walk - I know it's wayy easier for me to talk to someone while walking, in a beautiful park or something.. you can give it a try.. maybe on the way to/from lunch or tea house or whatever.. just make sure it's public enough (with some people around) and during the day, if you don't know her so well yet..

Friends go have tea or coffee or lunches together too, so it might be easier to see it as just 'getting-to-know-you' stage or spending some quality time together.. Friends hang out too, it's good if you show her that you do like her.. Then you'll both see how things develop..

Yup, shy guys with a sense of humor can be very cool!!

You know her better so you can decide what would be easier..

Good luck!!

 

[fitftw]

"I partially blame the Navy for keeping me away for 4 years"

you were in the Navy?

yeah lol. Hey didn't you used to live in NJ?

 

[Acegame]

Allright man go for it!! Let us know how it went

 

[Seasons]

If you like this girl and feel that she likes you back it would be a good thing if you could find the strength to act on it. I have a similar thing happening with me the difference (huge one for me) being that I don't know if the guy likes me back, which makes the idea of telling him how I feel excruciating.
But if you two get along really well, maybe you don't have to put so much pressure on yourself. If you ask her for a coffee, walk or lunch it's not implicit that you must say or do anything that you are nervous about right now. You can just see how it goes and then make a decision based on how you're feeling and how she reacts, it could even be that she will say something first. Or you can build up some courage throughot the 'date' and then and tell her how you feel.
I am no expert of course but I think that if she likes you for who you are and you like her as well you should definitely give yourselves a chance.

 

[Acegame]

I have a similar thing happening with me the difference (huge one for me) being that I don't know if the guy likes me back, which makes the idea of telling him how I feel excruciating.

When i get to know a girl likes me, for me its easier to fall in love with her. So if you have the strenght to tell him (or letting him know somehow) you should do it! Even when im not attrated to the girl its always nice to hear someone likes you

 

[UnOccupied]

All great things guys, thanks for the responses I was thinking though...i have close to NO practice with women. I don't have a sister(which i know makes men wayyyy more comfortable with women), and i have like no girls in my family, and i never hung around multiple girls a lot when i was younger, only the one time i had a gf. WAIT, i just remembered...i used to talk on the phone SOOOO much to girls when i was in middle and high school, like soooo much. But, i started to develop SAD and i got bad mid way through high school, and thats why i stopped. Now, 5 years later, i realize i don't have any experience with the lady folk...its like i don't even know how to be around them.

I actually just became pretty good friends with a girl at my school, and i love texting her and stuff, and see her sometimes(with other friends around), and we always have a good time. But, she asked me to eat with her once, and i get soooo scared and nervous about it. Just the thought of being alone with her, a girl who i don't even like, just as a friend, scared the heck out of me.

So, in a perfect world, i would have wished i started practicing talking to girls more who i don't like, to build my confidence back up, BEFORE i threw myself into a one on one date with a girl i truly like a lot. Buttttt, of course that seems to not be the case, and i am in the situation i am in.

 

[Seasons]

When i get to know a girl likes me, for me its easier to fall in love with her. So if you have the strenght to tell him (or letting him know somehow) you should do it! Even when im not attrated to the girl its always nice to hear someone likes you

Thanks! ::
I want to tell him, I really do, it's just that I am unable to. We went out the other day and I just wanted to say the words but they wouldn't come out. I have no idea if he likes me back and he's very shy so I can't expect him to say something. Maybe I could let him know, but I would need some kind of encouragement that would make me feel that it wouldn't go wrong and I wouldn't be making a fool out of myself.

And UnOccupied, if the girl doesn't mind about your anxiety I would say that it is very likely that she won't mind about lack of experience. Good luck!