Trying to cope with feelings...

[grace]

I have been recently told I am depressed and the problem is that I have felt like this for seven years... I constantly tell myself and believe that I'm not depressed, insisting I am fine while my family have to deal with my erratic mood swings that can switch within seconds, that I try to stop. I just feel so bitter and it's horrible as there's no one I dislike more then myself. I remove myself from situations so I don't dissapoint people when they realise I have nothing to say of any interest and are completely socially inept... I self diagnose all the damn time, trying to find something that I can blame for being like I am, like aspergers or a personality problem, but it's probably not right. I just want to feel normal and it's all I'll ever want, however corny that sounds. I would give anything to have a conversation and feel good about it

I'm 18 now, gone off to uni, moved 265 miles away from home, and feeling like crap.

I know there must be other people who feel the same

 

[MikeyC]

Hi, Grace. I am also going through depression and it's tough. Like you, I hate myself probably more than most people out there, so that makes it difficult to overcome.

I have long ago accepted that I had depression, but only recently started doing something about it. Good luck.

 

[grace]

Hi grace, welcome to spw

With my episodes of depression, I'm often not aware that I've been in one until I come out of it and can see the contrast

Hi, thanks for replying yeah I suppose that must be true of me, and I think I also wasn't aware as I always thought depression was more dramatic

 

[grace]

Hi, Grace. I am also going through depression and it's tough. Like you, I hate myself probably more than most people out there, so that makes it difficult to overcome.

I have long ago accepted that I had depression, but only recently started doing something about it. Good luck.

Thanks for reply, yeah it's been near impossible trying to make friends at uni when I don't even like or understand myself. And I honestly don't think I'll totally accept it until I feel differently and happier. Good luck to you too

 

[MikeyC]

Thanks for reply, yeah it's been near impossible trying to make friends at uni when I don't even like or understand myself. And I honestly don't think I'll totally accept it until I feel differently and happier. Good luck to you too

It takes time and effort to feel happier, but it's hard to quantify. I wish I had the answers but I don't, unfortunately.

 

[Apersonalan]

Hi, Grace. I am also going through depression and it's tough. Like you, I hate myself probably more than most people out there, so that makes it difficult to overcome.

I have long ago accepted that I had depression, but only recently started doing something about it. Good luck.

Your always happy in those pics you post. you could have fooled the hell out of me.

 

[Sora]

Sorry to hear about this I get depressed a lot, more so the past few years. I've been depressed constantly for the past 3 weeks, tonights the first night I have felt good in a long time, not sure why. I am never really sure why I am down either when it happens, I just know I am because I constantly feel horrible for days/weeks and I can't snap out of it, problem is I know I am in it, kinda the opposite to what you and phocas seem to be having, hmm strange, different outcomes but same kind of problems.

So far nothing really fixes it for me except waiting for it to pass, and just trying to do things I like. Talking can help a lot too when you can, sometimes I have no idea why I feel this way so it is hard to but sometimes if you just start with how you feel, if you're talking to the right person it can all come out from there.

I hope you can find a way to deal with it and feel better, it's really really tough to cope with, it's been the worst ever for me these past few weeks. Really felt like what is the point in anything at all, life feels like a big depression and like were put through a test until we die and then find "paradise" but then I ultimately snap out of it, and even though I sometimes think it's a great big depression I can still find happyness. I do not hate life, but when I get depressed very bad it's so hard to cope sometimes especially when you feel completely alone so I know what you are going through, it must be hard to of moved so far away but remember your not alone and you can talk on here anytime Sorry for long post and sorry that I do not have the answers, if I could make a pill or drink to instantly fix it I would! but I am not clever enough haha

 

[MikeyC]

Your always happy in those pics you post. you could have fooled the hell out of me.

I fool the hell out of everyone sometimes.

Sorry to hear about this I get depressed a lot, more so the past few years. I've been depressed constantly for the past 3 weeks, tonights the first night I have felt good in a long time, not sure why. I am never really sure why I am down either when it happens, I just know I am because I constantly feel horrible for days/weeks and I can't snap out of it, problem is I know I am in it, kinda the opposite to what you and phocas seem to be having, hmm strange, different outcomes but same kind of problems.

So far nothing really fixes it for me except waiting for it to pass, and just trying to do things I like. Talking can help a lot too when you can, sometimes I have no idea why I feel this way so it is hard to but sometimes if you just start with how you feel, if you're talking to the right person it can all come out from there.

I hope you can find a way to deal with it and feel better, it's really really tough to cope with, it's been the worst ever for me these past few weeks. Really felt like what is the point in anything at all, life feels like a big depression and like were put through a test until we die and then find "paradise" but then I ultimately snap out of it, and even though I sometimes think it's a great big depression I can still find happyness. I do not hate life, but when I get depressed very bad it's so hard to cope sometimes especially when you feel completely alone so I know what you are going through, it must be hard to of moved so far away but remember your not alone and you can talk on here anytime Sorry for long post and sorry that I do not have the answers, if I could make a pill or drink to instantly fix it I would! but I am not clever enough haha

Are you me?

I feel the same as you when it comes to depression. There's no real reason why I get it but it tends to stick around for a long time. The last 4 months - like your last 3 weeks - have been the worst in my long history of depression. It's not very good.

Sorry to hear your last 3 weeks have been bad. Can you think of anything that's set it off?

 

[Sora]

I fool the hell out of everyone sometimes.


Are you me?

I feel the same as you when it comes to depression. There's no real reason why I get it but it tends to stick around for a long time. The last 4 months - like your last 3 weeks - have been the worst in my long history of depression. It's not very good.

Sorry to hear your last 3 weeks have been bad. Can you think of anything that's set it off?

Hmm Am I you? Well I don't think so! hehe but who is me, really? (something to wonder about!)...wait my head hurts!

I feel ok again today, strange! must be the few days of happyness lol, I am not sure what set it off, I have being this way for as long as I can remember, even as a kid I had off days like this, and I didn't think this happened to kids.

Suppose it could of been school years, I said it never got to me but maybe sub consciously it did, got bullied for the whole of my school life, little school, big school, not college though and by then I really didn't care anymore! I always listened to me mam too and hit people back if they hit me, problem was the bullies never got caught, I did! and I got told off for it lol. Sometimes would go to school with mam to see teacher and the teacher would be like "He hit someone, he can't just hit someone!" then me mam replied "If someone hits him, he hits them back, I have told him this!" I loved that, made me stand up for myself and I always did defend myself but maybe this has something to do with the depression I seem to have lingering. That's the only thing I could put it down to really if I had to choose but other than this it's just there and I don't know why, sometimes lonelyness doesn't help and I feel completely alone but some days I just wake up completely depressed with no reason why at all (or not that I can see one). Last night was bizarre laid in bed I could not sleep, was actually hyper and singing out loud to myself (I never really do that! :S lol).

How about you? Anything set it off for you?

 

[ukchick]

My daughter gets so low, she's 14 and to be honest, I try humour to lift her mood. We watch movies like Elf and it works,for a short time at least!lol.
I pray little things we do will help her cope as she gets older, I worry one day I can't help her through it- a massive concern.