Too boring to have friends
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Island_chic
Well-known member
It definately feels that away but it's not true. I think we all lose our motivation and enthusiam for life and then feel stagnant and boring and maybe our feelings show towards others. Social phobics don't give themselves much of a chance to have a friend because we quickly run and hide and that's really sad that we put ourselves through this and not be able to enjoy and feel enjoyment.
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Anomaly
Well-known member
I can't keep a conversation going because nearly every single time I'm expected to come up with every single topic of discussion. That is a clear sign that the other person doesn't really want to have a conversation, so after some time, I stop talking. I can come up with a few topics, but I can't come up with all of the topics.
This has not been my experience -- the vast majority of people my age don't give a damn, particularly about philosophy. I exchanged messages with 1 person in ~ 7 years of using the internet who was eager to discuss such topics.
DeathMetal
Well-known member
I am a horrible conversationalist, I just never have anything to talk about. I am the epitome of boring.
I'm guessing that a lot of this has to do with the fact that throughout my life I have never had many friends, I just kept to myself. I just haven't had much practice interacting with people, and don't really know what to do or say around them.
I'm guessing that a lot of this has to do with the fact that throughout my life I have never had many friends, I just kept to myself. I just haven't had much practice interacting with people, and don't really know what to do or say around them.
Richey
Well-known member
i would say it depends on the situation...
at work for instance i find that environment uncomfortable to begin with, because there are supervisors and people walking around and it just feels like its set up to be uncomfortable, where i work anyway ...so i tend to switch off, but in a more positive, communal environment that doesn't have the bull**** stigma i'd say there are better chances for me to open up and feel comfortable...which makes me realise that perhaps its other people and the environment that effects me more then myself effecting me...so its the outside world and other people that influence my behaviour which is approval seeking really on my part ...just reading that back, i'm so messed up :
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i dont think anyone is boring, i mean everyone is unique and has a story and interests, just because someone is quiet and loud doesn't really bother me at all or make me think any less of them, but i'm not really judgemental of others ...
the thing that bothers me about me the most is that i'm not great at making people laugh or entering a sarcastic/joking conversation with something witty and reactive ...in fact i've made situations like that awkward because the words didnt come out right and that made me even more quiet ....its hard, i think its just a matter of practicing and falling over and getting back up and practicing and screwing it up until one day it clicks...
at work for instance i find that environment uncomfortable to begin with, because there are supervisors and people walking around and it just feels like its set up to be uncomfortable, where i work anyway ...so i tend to switch off, but in a more positive, communal environment that doesn't have the bull**** stigma i'd say there are better chances for me to open up and feel comfortable...which makes me realise that perhaps its other people and the environment that effects me more then myself effecting me...so its the outside world and other people that influence my behaviour which is approval seeking really on my part ...just reading that back, i'm so messed up :
:i dont think anyone is boring, i mean everyone is unique and has a story and interests, just because someone is quiet and loud doesn't really bother me at all or make me think any less of them, but i'm not really judgemental of others ...
the thing that bothers me about me the most is that i'm not great at making people laugh or entering a sarcastic/joking conversation with something witty and reactive ...in fact i've made situations like that awkward because the words didnt come out right and that made me even more quiet ....its hard, i think its just a matter of practicing and falling over and getting back up and practicing and screwing it up until one day it clicks...
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Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
"too boring to have friends", thats really not a problem. you're under no obligation to entertain, interest, or intrigue anybody. they can go watch television or pay a performer if they want entertainment. do what you want to do,
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Anomaly
Well-known member
Certainly, but few people manage to consistently function with that mindset thanks to evolution.
Kitana
Member
I feel the same way Persona. Everytime I log on to a chatroom, I just sit there and stare at the chat flying by. I never know what to say or how to include myself in any coversation -- especially group conversations.
Eventually, I just log off and go back to playing the Sims 3.. a safe place where I can actually SUCCEED in making friends -- real or not. lol.
Eventually, I just log off and go back to playing the Sims 3.. a safe place where I can actually SUCCEED in making friends -- real or not. lol.
recluse
Well-known member
People want to be with people who are fun....It's logical really isn't it! When i am full of negative thoughts which is 90% of the time i am incapable of being fun....All i have going through my mind is ''I hate my life''..''I'm useless''...I am incapable of stringing a thought together so convo is impossible.
Absolutely.. and the more we think we are boring: the more we try to change ourselves: no chance to be appreciated for what we are
...also: hiding and running away w/o even trying to stay with people... as my therapist said: you already have no friends; so if you stay with other people, you have really nothing to loose: Always try because you have nothing to loose
Timid_Wolf
Member
Every time I try to make friends online I fail bacause I simply have nothing to say. I just can't come up with any topics.
Everybody talks about school or work, I don't go to eather.
Everybody has hobbies, I can't stay interested long enough to get one.
Everybody has political/philosophical/etc opinion, I have none because I feel it doesn't matter.
Everybody has interesting lives, I sleep all day and then sit at my computer whole night.
It's just horrible. I've missed my whole teenage years. I've done nothing. I have no experience. I don't have any opinions.
Only thing I can talk about is to complain about my probelms! Nobody wants to hear that all the time.
I think I'm becoming so hollow. I barely feel anything anymore, my brains don't work. And I don't know how I could fix this. I should go out and get a life but in a way it's so much EASIER to have given up. No pressure, no anxiety, just forget about it and wait for death
I know exactly how you feel. I also feel hollow but I've gotten to the point I ignore others existance....not saying you should do that...
But yes it's easy to give up. This reminds me of a book I read. When they were going in the War of the Lance, Fizban said to Tanis that there were two paths he could take.
1. The easy path which would have deadly effects at the end
or
2. Go through the trouble to go through things now and later it will have a happy effect at the end
What I meant by that example is giving up is like the first path, giving up will have bad results at the end even if it seems easy now. But the second path might seems hard now but you won't regret it in the end.
