So i talked before about getting a different job. I tell the wife and she didn't go for it. I was going to put in for a welder/mechanic job with a shipping company, like to work on a ship. I already have a messed up work schedule so if i ain't ever home i can at least make big money, right? Buy the wife a new Cadillac and send the kids to a really good college one day. I'm still looking into the specifics of it. Might get a job with them and never leave land too, who knows? It would mean moving to the beach though.
This is not a journal! Or a diary!
- Thread starter jc972
- Start date
What a weekend! First off, I went and tried out a few trucks I found on Craigslist. I didn't buy any. Nobody wanted to bargain. Oh well. Then I re arranged my garage and put in a new shelf. More storage space for tools anyway. Saturday I went to my grandparents place cause I needed something out of his garage and my mom corners me in there wanting to talk. Remember we've not spoke in like 6 months and there were a lot of wrong doing. So she apologizes and whines and stuff and I cussed her out and screamed at her and really got a lot of pent up anger off my chest that had to do with her and my step dad. Felt good. The bad thing is that when I was calling them sorry, underhanded, backstabbing, lying, deceitful, M.F.'ing S.O.B.'s, she just agreed and cried harder until I was done hollering at her. She agreed that they had done me and my wife and kids very wrong and she was sorry and she didn't know why she did it and blah blah blah, typical bullshit excuses but she did make the effort to make things right. We talked for almost two hours. So more or less I'm not as mad at her now. And she still owes my wife and daughter a great big apology and it's up to them if they wanna accept it or not and I told the wife that. Told her if she didn't wanna be around her and didn't want the kids around her then it's fine with me and that me and the wife stick together and i have her back, when somebody treats her bad they better not expect me to be calm about it. So the ball is in her court. I did tell mom that the next time I see my stepdad he's getting a broke jaw anyway for instigating this and mind controlling my mom and running his mouth about me and the wife. They's some things apologizing don't fix. Oh well. I'm still untrusting of mom cause I know what her true colors are now after all this but we are on speaking terms anyway. Then yesterday evening we went up to the family cemetery and I put out grass seed on some new graves and straightened up some flowers that had been knocked over by the wind or something. Stayed there and looked around for a while. I'm not a morbid dude but I find myself reading all the tomb stones seeing who is buried there and how old they were. I find it kinda interesting I reckon. I showed the older kids and the wife the graves I dug and told them about who was in each one that I remember. Best I could remember I think they's 4 graves there that I dug and filled in. Could be a few more but them's the ones I remember the best. It'll be real pretty when that new grass takes to growing. Then this evening we went and visited my grandparents and when we got home the neighbor rode his motorcycle over and told me it was for sale. I'm probably gonna buy it. It's a 2003 Honda XR 600R dirt bike. So I test drove it... with my older son riding on the gas tank! We went tearing *** through this uppity-up subdivision on a loud motorcycle. He really enjoyed it. It needs a new chain and air filter but he only wants like $700 for it! How can I pass that up? That's easily a $1800 bike. Apparently he found another man toy he can't live without. Plus, this motorcycle has seen some decent use somewhere but it'll be fun to take the kids riding on anyway 
Now it's sunday night again! Weekend's over by now.
Now it's sunday night again! Weekend's over by now.
MikeyC
Well-known member
You're on speaking terms which is good but you should just watch her like a hawk, which I'm sure you're doing, anyway. At least it's more of an amicable yet still shaky relationship.
I'm watching her like 007 watches that old bald guy with a cat on his lap! I've seen her true colors and what she's capable of. Besides, there's only two people I trust in this life: one's been dead for 9 years and the other one ain't here.
All day I've been thinking about that little boy I carried out of that burning house that time. Wondering where he is now and hoping he is well and happy. I reckon he'd probably be 15 or 16 years old now if he was 4 or 5 in 2003. I can just barely remember his name. I'd say he has probably moved away from here or somethin by now. Every now and then for some reason my mind will drift back to that time and I'll think about the kid for a few days and wonder about him like I am now and then not think of it for quite a while. Ever so often I'll run into the other fireman that was with me that day. I'll run into him at the grocery store or the post office or the Autozone and we'll catch up for a few minutes and shake hands and go about our business. One day I hope I see that boy again, just to catch up and shake hands.
TreeBones
Well-known member
What?! did you use to be a fireman or something?
If I was that boy I'd make it a point to track you down aha, so maybe he will someday.
Yup. I was. That's why i have PTSD. Maybe he will.
TreeBones
Well-known member
I have PTSD too,.. I'm sorry. That is so awesome that you were a fireman though.
I hate it. I ain't slept good since it started years. Do you have nightmares? I'm covered up in them. Hate it. I'm sorry you have it too.
TreeBones
Well-known member
I have nightmares occasionally but not as much as I use to. I don't want to sound like a broken record but I really am sorry you still have them. I know how that's like.
You don't sound like that at all. Thanks for caring
I'm doing a lot better than i used to. I made a thread about it and my experiences with it a long time ago.
TreeBones
Well-known member
You don't sound like that at all. Thanks for caring
I just got done reading it. I'm really sorry that happened. but It's like someone said on there.. you can't save everyone. I'm not trying to say that I know how you feel at all and I certainly wasn't there when this happened, but one of my close friends died in a car accident too, same reasons. He and my other friends were racing, and being dumb. He was the only one who died. We all grew up together and I just wish I could of spent more time with him, it's such a shock when you find out someone close to you is gone. When I went to that other school at my dad's house my old friend went there and he was the one driving the car that night.. I didn't even want to look at him... I still can't. I just want to you to know there are others who can sort of relate, I mean even if it's not me.
I swear i could hug you right now
I'm sorry about your friend. Stuff like that is hard to get past. I'm sure it ain't easy on that other boy either. That's a painful situation all around. It hurts to see kids having fun just having fun and an accident leaves one in a grave. Its heartbreaking.
God what a week. All week with hardly no sleep. When I got home last night I pretty much collapsed. I slept from like 11 to 3 a.m. and woke up. Stayed up till 4 a.m. and went to bed and didn't wake up until 3 p.m. today. Stupid nightmares. Started having a new one. It don't matter if I set the A/C on 75 or on 45, I'll wake up in a sweat. Jolt awake more like. So I'm at the kitchen table at 3 something in the morning, staring at a glass of vodka on the table in front of me, in my underwear. I had the florescent light on and it's making this real quiet humming sound and all I can think about is this fire that happened a long time ago. Finally I just went to bed. After the glass was empty. And the nightmares continued.
So late Thursday night I walked outside to the break area behind the plant while it was break time, I like looking at the sky at night, and I overheard a bunch of workers poking fun at the new boy. Apparently his new girlfriend is an ex prostitute. Not only does he blab this fact to the whole night shift, but he honestly thought they wouldn't make fun of him. You can imagine what they said about her. Pfft. Perverts. So they're all trying to get him to dump her and all this and I could tell the kid was seriously upset at the things they were saying to him. I think he smoked like a half a pack of cigarettes on break. I rarely talk to the kid. Heh, rarely talk to any of them for that matter. I was standing next to the door that leads back inside and they all got up to go back to work and were all walking past me as I just stood there and the kid was the last one in line. So as he started to go past me I put my hand out and stopped him. I didn't say anything and he didn't either but gave me a dumb look on his face like he was curious as to what was going on. After the door shut behind the last person, I told him to give me a cigarette and sit back down. I ain't smoked since last summer when I had to put my dog down. I asked him if he liked the girl. He said he did. I asked him if her past bothered him. He said he wasn't overjoyed with it but he didn't judge her for it though. He said he was thinking about getting rid of her, I assume due to the others making fun of him and her. I stood there enjoying the smoke and I told him "Kid, if you like her stay with her. Don't let them other idiots run your life. Man up and own it. You like her and she likes you and she don't do it anymore so just go with it. Thanks for the smoke, boy." And slapped him on the shoulder in an approving way. Then we went back to work. That was odd for me. I'm not the type that butts into business like that but I was getting mad at them trying to tell him to break up with her. Idiots. I feel like an idiot myself for butting in but I felt like somebody should say something halfway constructive. Me and my big mouth.
Celebrated my grandparents 50th anniversary today. I can't imagine being married 50 years. I hope to be one day but good grief, by then I'll be 70 years old! I'll be all wrinkly and look like a piece of beef j,erky! Ugh! Hopefully me and the old lady can see a 75 year anniversary, which would put me at 95. That'll be a real possibility by that time. Then we came home and I built two new shelves in the garage and fixed the garage door. I've got that door going good. I put some new metal brackets and some new 1"X4"s around the bottom of the door and painted them. Then I re arranged the garage and sorted out my tools and stuff. Also drove in some nails in the wall to hang brooms and mops and extension cords and crap from. After all that crap I went to the Autozone and bought a dent-puller to try and get the big mysterious dent out of my truck fender. The 2004 truck. I found that and I was LIVID! I drove it to work last week so when I get to work tomorrow I'm gonna try to watch the security footage and see if I can find out if it was dented there. That would really piss me off. The least somebody could do is come and say "hey dude I accidentally dented your vehicle". I make it a point to respect others property 96% of the time. UGH!!!
Ok so lately I've been helping the new guy a work quite a bit. 20 years old, fresh out of machinist school, and nobody wanted to tell him how to do anything. He's smart and he tries but he has some hang-ups now and again with different things. So far I've taught him milling on a Bridgeport mill and turning stuff in a lathe, CNC programming, and some welding. He's receptive and takes notes. As of late he has been kinda imitating me. Nothing big but he started buying tools and stuff like mine and he kept eyeballing my pocket knife when I'd be cutting sandwiches at lunch break or opening boxes of parts in the shop and pretty soon he had one similar to mine and was asking me to show him how to sharpen it. The other day he milled a part wrong so he sheepishly told me what happened and I welded it up for him and had him try it again. He did something else wrong that time so I welded it again and it was just to warped to finish from all the heat from welding on it. So we deep-sixed it and got another one and I milled it with him watching and taking notes. I managed to keep it pretty secretive even though it was a several thousand dollar hunk of metal. This coming week we're gonna practice gas welding, better known as oxyacetylene welding. It's fast becoming a lost art and it's a needed skill in the metalworking trade. There are only two of us at the plant that can do it and the kid will be the 3rd one. He's a natural at MIG and stick welding and he's coming along with his TiG welding too. I reckon his dad is in prison for drugs and he ain't got a man to look up to even though he is an adult himself, he's still a kid with his kid mindset. The other day I was telling him about hunting this fall and he started asking questions about it sooo I'm pondering on taking him with us.
So my grandpaw is saying that it might be time to put grandmaw in a nursing home. We've been talking about it all week. He ain't talking to my uncle or my mom about it, just me. He's been taking care of her and her alzheimers for years now and won't let anybody help cause he's too proud to ask for help. I don't like it but I understand it. To him it's a sign of weakness, asking for help. I told him thursday night that I could sell my place and buy a bigger one and them move in with us. The wife is down for it. He said no though. Said it was his problem, taking care of her and he didn't want to push her off on anybody else. No matter how I talk to him or what I say he won't go for it. He won't bring her and them come here to live. He don't want me to sell this place and get a bigger one so they can live with me. He just won't listen to me at all! He broke down crying when I was talking to him. Friday, before work, I went to their house just to check on them ya know? Like just to see. She didn't recognize me. The woman who was more of a mom to me than my real mom had not a ******* clue who I was. That hurt. I had to work had to fight those tears back. Even with my name on my work shirt! No clue who I was! I guess most of the time she only sees me on the weekends in a T shirt and jeans and yesterday in my work clothes and combat boots she just saw a stranger. He had to tell her who I was because I was just in disbelief. I thought before that she had to think for a few seconds who I was but she ain't never drew a blank like that before. I don't know what I'm gonna do with those two. Stopped and had a double vodka on the way to work. Didn't help anything. Just kinda numbed it for a few minutes. Now I'm right back a square one with the situation. And a nursing home! That's his solution! I've been to a nursing home before, the one he's talking about using, went there on a medical call in '06 when I was still a fireman. They called us cause some old lady had a heart attack and the ambulance was busy. We got there and nobody knew anything about it! It took us a long time just to find out which one we were there to help! None of the staff had a clue! And the smell. Jesus! Smelled worse than a morgue! I don't want her going there but he ain't listening to me and what I'm wanting to try! I said "let me buy a bigger house and you two move in with us and me and the wife can take care of her and take the load off of you." No go. He won't hear of it. I just had to get this out there. Stupid alzheimers! It's on both sides of my family. That's what my dad's dad died of. What most old people in the family die of. Won't be what gets me though.