Hi, you may not remember me but I used to be very active in this site. I started the 'whatever journal' thread when I was in College and finished it after I got married. Now that I'm a mum, I decided to make another part 2 journal thread so I can collect all my thoughts in this new SA journey. I prolly wont be as active as before but I think it will help me to use this thread again as my personal therapy for my SA struggles.
Obviously I'm in my low mood again which is the main reason why I'm back here.
Anyway, my son just recently celebrated his 1st birthday party. The main host is my husband. I am so relieved that the party's over but I still have my post party anxiety mood. I feel a mixture of crappiness, self pity, frustration and... I can't explain it but I feel guilty like butterflies in my stomach has been going on after the party. *sigh*
I'm telling myself I'm overthinking and there's no sense dwelling about the party. Afterall, it wasn't so bad and I kept telling myself that I wasnt the one who organized it. But as a parent I felt like I should be responsible as well. I think I am more worried about what people thought about me....
Pause:
Son's awake. I'll continue later
Obviously I'm in my low mood again which is the main reason why I'm back here.
Anyway, my son just recently celebrated his 1st birthday party. The main host is my husband. I am so relieved that the party's over but I still have my post party anxiety mood. I feel a mixture of crappiness, self pity, frustration and... I can't explain it but I feel guilty like butterflies in my stomach has been going on after the party. *sigh*
I'm telling myself I'm overthinking and there's no sense dwelling about the party. Afterall, it wasn't so bad and I kept telling myself that I wasnt the one who organized it. But as a parent I felt like I should be responsible as well. I think I am more worried about what people thought about me....
Pause:
Son's awake. I'll continue later