Xervello
Well-known member
One of the things that makes meeting new people so damned difficult is having to explain social phobias to those who don't understand it or would belittle it. It's been a few years since I've made any new friends. And these are online friends only. I have no offline ones. But even with online people I try not to come off as weird or awkward because of my issues. So in the past it was always a tricky line to walk as I slowly introduce myself to anyone I hit it off with and using babysteps to carefully inch my true self into the light, over time, so that the people I like become more sympathetic/understanding of me. But that is such a bleeping exhaustive process to undertake once, let alone over and over again.
One of the things I really liked about this forum is that I didn't have to go through that whole process to conceal my issues. ALL of us have them! YaY! Well, not YaY. It sucks we're all going through this. But it's such a relief to avoid that burden. Having said that, it also stresses the importance of those friends I/we DO have. Boyfriends/girlfriends included. And also why we tend to allow so much abuse and exploitation by these people because, hey, it's not like there's a lot of people beating down the door wanting to be with our crazy selves. To find someone that will put up with all our issues and personality faults and checkered pasts, there's value in that. But it may also trap us in unhealthy relationships/friendships.
I've been fortunate to have made a couple of really good friends from this place. But in lieu of recent circumstances, one of those friendships has become drastically altered and troublesome for me. Someone I very much rely on and have come to depend on in ways I never thought I would again. Someone that really helped me venture out of my comfort zone. Someone I cared more about than I wished I did. And it's made me revisit the entire friendship issue. I don't know if I could ever do it again. But I'm thankful to this place for having met this person, and for the opportunity to meet others like them and myself.
Just out of curiosity, how successful have you all been in developing relationships at this site? Have the "social phobia" friends you've made been helpful to you, harmful or neither?
One of the things I really liked about this forum is that I didn't have to go through that whole process to conceal my issues. ALL of us have them! YaY! Well, not YaY. It sucks we're all going through this. But it's such a relief to avoid that burden. Having said that, it also stresses the importance of those friends I/we DO have. Boyfriends/girlfriends included. And also why we tend to allow so much abuse and exploitation by these people because, hey, it's not like there's a lot of people beating down the door wanting to be with our crazy selves. To find someone that will put up with all our issues and personality faults and checkered pasts, there's value in that. But it may also trap us in unhealthy relationships/friendships.
I've been fortunate to have made a couple of really good friends from this place. But in lieu of recent circumstances, one of those friendships has become drastically altered and troublesome for me. Someone I very much rely on and have come to depend on in ways I never thought I would again. Someone that really helped me venture out of my comfort zone. Someone I cared more about than I wished I did. And it's made me revisit the entire friendship issue. I don't know if I could ever do it again. But I'm thankful to this place for having met this person, and for the opportunity to meet others like them and myself.
Just out of curiosity, how successful have you all been in developing relationships at this site? Have the "social phobia" friends you've made been helpful to you, harmful or neither?
Last edited: