ShyPrincess
Member
I just got a job at a daycare worked three days after having two breakdowns and this whole week I've had a migraine. But I thank God I have a mother that supports me.
For all of you out there struggling been there and still am, I'm doing online college aiming for a degree in education. My dream is to start a school for the people like us. I know it is going to be a long rode, but I have to do it. No one seems to understand the pain of this disorder, It can kill you. However you don't have to give in. I was born with this disorder and diagnosed as a teenage right after my father passed away. I was always different, quieter than the quiet students. In elementary school I had my first seizure and from then on. After thousands of test and traveling out of town to neurologist,heart doctors, everybody, I found out that my severe Anxiety was the reason. I finally found a good neurologist and was diagnosed with epilepsy, anxiety, and panic disorder.At that time I was already depressed, not eating and suicidal due to my dads passing, when I was diagnosed by the psychiatrist with Agoraphobia. I couldn't leave the house, I was so afraid I thought I was losing it.
People I thought were my friends( I only had a couple) and even family were cruel to me, saying that all I wanted was attention and that I was faking it.I was deeply hurt and angry wanting to hurt myself and them.My seizures humiliated me all my school years until I couldn't take it anymore, after 10th grade my mom removed me from public school to home school.
No one could understand but me the hell I was going through so I would pray, read my bible,write, and listen to music. My only peace was talking to God and my Mom. My sister couldn't understand what in the world was going on because around her I was normal "comfortable", myself.
I can't stand the touch of people, no matter the age. I jerk away from contact. I had love for both parents as a child, even through my father was in and out of my life. I was never abused. Everything in me seems to freeze. I hate the telephone and for a long time never answered it, it drove my mom crazy and still does.
I am socially slow, but I've come along way in the past couple years. I've had two jobs, even through I couldn't handle it. I have my permit and a car. Life seems to be so slow for me and probably for you all too. But don't give up, we all have our good days even if more is bad. Everyday is a challenge, set small goals each day for yourself. For example sit on your porch, walk our dog. I have a poodle,he's helped me out a lot. I don't have any friends because I think it will be unfair to them. To be honest it doesn't bother me, i'm used to it and i'm so far from lonely with all the family I have. I am lonely when it comes to an relationship. But I'm only 20 I have time.
I hope my little life will encourage others to keep going! If you ever need someone to talk with message me. Ask anything you want
I'll try to get back with you ASAP! You are all in my thoughts and prayers! You all lift my spirits, I like to know I 'm not the only one :bigsmile:
For all of you out there struggling been there and still am, I'm doing online college aiming for a degree in education. My dream is to start a school for the people like us. I know it is going to be a long rode, but I have to do it. No one seems to understand the pain of this disorder, It can kill you. However you don't have to give in. I was born with this disorder and diagnosed as a teenage right after my father passed away. I was always different, quieter than the quiet students. In elementary school I had my first seizure and from then on. After thousands of test and traveling out of town to neurologist,heart doctors, everybody, I found out that my severe Anxiety was the reason. I finally found a good neurologist and was diagnosed with epilepsy, anxiety, and panic disorder.At that time I was already depressed, not eating and suicidal due to my dads passing, when I was diagnosed by the psychiatrist with Agoraphobia. I couldn't leave the house, I was so afraid I thought I was losing it.
People I thought were my friends( I only had a couple) and even family were cruel to me, saying that all I wanted was attention and that I was faking it.I was deeply hurt and angry wanting to hurt myself and them.My seizures humiliated me all my school years until I couldn't take it anymore, after 10th grade my mom removed me from public school to home school.
No one could understand but me the hell I was going through so I would pray, read my bible,write, and listen to music. My only peace was talking to God and my Mom. My sister couldn't understand what in the world was going on because around her I was normal "comfortable", myself.
I can't stand the touch of people, no matter the age. I jerk away from contact. I had love for both parents as a child, even through my father was in and out of my life. I was never abused. Everything in me seems to freeze. I hate the telephone and for a long time never answered it, it drove my mom crazy and still does.
I am socially slow, but I've come along way in the past couple years. I've had two jobs, even through I couldn't handle it. I have my permit and a car. Life seems to be so slow for me and probably for you all too. But don't give up, we all have our good days even if more is bad. Everyday is a challenge, set small goals each day for yourself. For example sit on your porch, walk our dog. I have a poodle,he's helped me out a lot. I don't have any friends because I think it will be unfair to them. To be honest it doesn't bother me, i'm used to it and i'm so far from lonely with all the family I have. I am lonely when it comes to an relationship. But I'm only 20 I have time.
I hope my little life will encourage others to keep going! If you ever need someone to talk with message me. Ask anything you want
I'll try to get back with you ASAP! You are all in my thoughts and prayers! You all lift my spirits, I like to know I 'm not the only one :bigsmile:
