The problem is...

[Bugs]

Over thinking. I observed that most of us here are over thinking people. We tend to think much about how a situation would end, what's the best way to react in a certain situation, did I do well or not, what could other people be possibly thinking about me after what I did or say... etc. And then we become fearful of things sometimes unfounded. We start thinking of negative things about situations, people, ourselves, and life itself. We conclude everything in our mind, and so since we've thought of bad things we tend to be overwhelmed and feel sad about them.

I have a not so happy childhood and I've experience many pains from people. But I've heard and read many here who have experienced worse than me. However, most of us haven't let them go and they recur because we over think about them. I tried to mingle with other people. As I began to know them better, I realized that they also have bad things happen to them but they just let it go, moved on, grew up.

We are all haunted. It's part of life. We just have to learn how go accept ourselves and go on with our chosen way of life.

Anything you want to say to this?

 

[S_Spartan]

Oh yeah, I think way too much!

 

[soandi]

Exactly, I agree. Sometimes I repeat one small situation many times in my mind. almost every possible variation, at least worst ones!

 

[laure15]

I used to not overthink things, but after some horrible experiences with people in college, I have developed a habit of overthinking things. It also didn't help to be surrounded by classmates and people who overthink things as well.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

I do this all the time, mostly about conversations I've had, my own body language, and any other interactions I have with people. It also affects me when I'm taking directions at work or when I'm asked for a favor. I second guess everything that I do and find myself looking for clarification every 5 minutes.

 

[dottie]

yes, this is so true. OCD. i am a record of unfounded doom on repeat.

 

[hidwell]

Solution ; remove yourself from people, problem solved.

 

[MikeyC]

I think way too much to the point of it stressing me out. Not good.

You're right, Bugs, in that most people go through hardships of some description, and people get through them. No reason why we can't, although that's easier said than done.

 

[Flanscho]

If overthinking is a problem to you, you should give awareness meditation (Vipassanā) a serious try. If you get good at it, it should solve that problem.

 

[JackOfSpades]

DBT. I exist in more settings without urgent, turbulent emotion. And realize there's no emotion in this place, but the ones I make. And then I feel and think a lot less. The world stops coming into me filtered through emotions and bias.

 

[kilojoule]

I disagree.

I don't think you can overthink. In my opinion the problem is not enough thinking. Because if we thought about a scenario in its entirity, wed be able to realise we can help ourselves get out of the cycle and we can overcome it. Instead, we stop thinking about the entire scenario once we feel unpleasent about one potential outcome.

In my opinion the problem is... underthinking.

 

[JackOfSpades]

I think what you're speaking about relates directly to cognition. I think the problem is unproductive and particularly irrational thought. These thoughts become dominant and over active. I think the goal is through what you speak about, thinking more. But thinking more properly. And that's the goal of doing any CBT. Then, hopefully you're able to come out with the ability to manage thought and let go of some thought. Leading to less vigilant, over critical thinking. Which are most likely the predominant thoughts occurring.

 

[Bugs]

I think way too much to the point of it stressing me out. Not good.

You're right, Bugs, in that most people go through hardships of some description, and people get through them. No reason why we can't, although that's easier said than done.

Hi MikeyC, I think you're right. It's easier said than done. Lately, after a few days after I was motivated to look at things more positively and stopped overthinking... I suddenly went back to the usual me... the reflective loner.

I realized it's just so hard to change... it's so natural for me to overthink :sad:

 

[Bugs]

I do this all the time, mostly about conversations I've had, my own body language, and any other interactions I have with people. It also affects me when I'm taking directions at work or when I'm asked for a favor. I second guess everything that I do and find myself looking for clarification every 5 minutes.

Been there, done that. How is it that I know I believe in myself, but I still doubt everything I do as if I'm always doing something wrong though I know I'm not.

I hope you get what I mean... As if I always need some confirmation from other people about what I'm doing is right or wrong.

 

[Bugs]

Solution ; remove yourself from people, problem solved.

How? It's just so hard to isolate oneself... been reading books, doings arts, reflecting, hiking alone, but in the end it just gets harder when you return to real world. I realized I might as well face everything now... and who cares what happens. What do you think?

 

[MikeyC]

Hi MikeyC, I think you're right. It's easier said than done. Lately, after a few days after I was motivated to look at things more positively and stopped overthinking... I suddenly went back to the usual me... the reflective loner.

I realized it's just so hard to change... it's so natural for me to overthink :sad:

Change is hard. It's not an overnight thing, as I'm cruelly finding out. There's nothing even bad about being a "reflective loner", as you put it - what's detrimental are the types of thoughts. Thinking negatively is obviously damaging, so it's just trying to change your thinking patterns. Sounds a lot like CBT, doesn't it?

How? It's just so hard to isolate oneself... been reading books, doings arts, reflecting, hiking alone, but in the end it just gets harder when you return to real world. I realized I might as well face everything now... and who cares what happens. What do you think?

Isolating yourself from people won't work. You will eventually need to socialise for one reason or another, so remaining isolated all the time will just make that experience so much more difficult. There's nothing wrong with alone-time, and I'm sure most of us here enjoy that, but some socialising is good.

 

[Bugs]

I disagree.

I don't think you can overthink. In my opinion the problem is not enough thinking. Because if we thought about a scenario in its entirity, wed be able to realise we can help ourselves get out of the cycle and we can overcome it. Instead, we stop thinking about the entire scenario once we feel unpleasent about one potential outcome.

In my opinion the problem is... underthinking.

I agree with your whole idea of underthinking the entirety of the scenario but my idea was on overthinking one or two events or circumstances under the whole scenario

 

[Bugs]

I think what you're speaking about relates directly to cognition. I think the problem is unproductive and particularly irrational thought. These thoughts become dominant and over active. I think the goal is through what you speak about, thinking more. But thinking more properly. And that's the goal of doing any CBT. Then, hopefully you're able to come out with the ability to manage thought and let go of some thought. Leading to less vigilant, over critical thinking. Which are most likely the predominant thoughts occurring.

True. Thanks. I hope I could redirect my mind on more productive thoughts. But sometimes it's just hard to do this because my mind is already in the habit of over critical thinking. My mind seems to be comfortable doing so... When my mind is empty, I get to think of soooo many other unnecessary things. I just have the need to be always thinking of something. Most of the time, I believe I'm thinking of three things all at the same time...

 

[Bugs]

I used to not overthink things, but after some horrible experiences with people in college, I have developed a habit of overthinking things. It also didn't help to be surrounded by classmates and people who overthink things as well.

It's just so sad how other people can such things to us.