The nightmare of being an introvert...

[Dark angel]

Well, at least that's what I think I am, although not exactly sure. I just realize that my friends are going to make me a surprise birthday party today. Ok. I've been through them before, in fact all of the past years is the same thing but this one I didn't see it coming because my real birthday was several days ago. I think is very thoughtful of them to do something like this. But honestly, today I wasn't in the mood with being with anyone. I wanted to just watch some TV and lay down. And now my best friend just called me to tell me what they were planning to do. I sincerely got angry because I wasn't prepared before hand for being around a lot of people. Of course I didn't say anything to her and pretended like everything was cool and fine. But she knows me better than myself because before she told me the news, she said " don't be mad but" If she knows me well, and knows that I like simple things, why she keeps insisting on doing this type of birthdays? I would've preferred something simpler, like going to the movies with friends and dinner. Now I have to put on a happy face for everyone when clearly I'm not exactly happy. My heart started pounding a little bit because this implies being a good host to everyone when you are not in the mood and smiling all the time. My mom got a little bit sad and sort of disappointed by my reaction but nobody seems to understand where I'm coming from. I even ask her to please understand me and I asked her if she like being around others all the time... She said yes, so in reality nobody gets me. Not everyone likes big parties and stuff like that. I do enjoy them from time to time, but I need to know ahead in order to prepare myself mentally and this whole thing came so abruptly and sudden... I would've maybe liked the idea if they told me what was planned and when; sure I know in that sense it wouldn't be exactly a surprise but it doesn't matter. Now Im worried of how to present myself to everyone, im worried that they wont have a good time, I'm worried of doing something dumb or saying something out of place... If only my family lived in my head they would understand me a little bit better :sad:

 

[Froggy246]

Yea I wouldn't like that either, I also need a lot of time to prepare mentally for stuff like that. I don't think I could even handle having birthday party, I can barely cope with going to someone elses, at least then you can leave when you want or only stay for an hour to show your face. Saying that though, sometimes these things can work out in your favour ,you end up having a good time and the change in pace helps to lift the mood. You can also take time out on your own every now and then, and everyone will be pre-occupied anyway so hosting responsibilities can be kept to a minimum if you don't have the energy. But yea seems a bit unfair to ignore your nature and treat you like an extrovert if they know your more of an introvert. It is your Birthday after all!

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I would say let them know but it's not easy to come out.

 

[dangermouse]

Tell them how your feel.

 

[Richey]

well from my experience, i will say that you don't have to say alot, you can just appreciate the party and your friends and also it may be a small party, so people that you know maybe?you could try and see it is a few hours where people show you some time. see it as something you can test yourself with. if it goes "not how you expected", then you can still be happy with yourself. if it goes reall well then you will be happy with it. anyway, good luck.

 

[Rookiebatman]

I'll tell you this; I'm extremely introverted, and I'd love it if my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I've never really had anyone (other than my parents when I was growing up) throw me a birthday party, surprise or not. When I want to have a birthday party, I have to plan it myself, host it, make the calls to invite people, and clean up afterward myself. Eventually, I just got tired of doing that, so I just don't have birthday parties at all anymore.

If this really bothers you, I'd say talk to your best friend (after the party, just in case you do end up enjoying it), and explain to her how you feel. But really make an effort to keep in mind that this was something that was done with the best of intentions, that they really were trying to do something that the average person would be thrilled about. It'll probably be a pretty awkward, uncomfortable discussion, but if she really does want to do things that will make you happy, then she'll want to know that this isn't one of them.

Maybe that's just me, but in the few healthy relationships I've ever had in my life (mostly just with my family), I've found that calm, even-tempered communication with someone who's receptive to it can make a really huge difference.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

I feel you, when i was younger i often tell my parents not to hold parties on my birthday but they still insisedt. Then one time i really got sick of it, I acted quite rude on my birthday party. I stayed in my room most of the time and even banged the door once. I know I shouldn't have done it but it just felt so unfair that I couldn't even enjoy my own birthday because of them. Eventually I felt guilty and showed up but my parents finally got the message coz they stopped holding big parties for me after that. Instead we celebrated my birthday the way I like it and I guess they realized that it's much better coz it's more intimate family bonding and cost less so we get to prepare more special meals. And to add to their guilt *lol* I even said "Finally, I enjoyed my own birthday"