Aletheia
Well-known member
lurknomore used this term, and it got me thinking.
I was excruciatingly shy and nerdy as a teenager, but by university I'd pulled together some semblance of a social life, even if I was only faking it (alcohol helped). So I was at the pub one evening when I ran into a couple of guys from high school. They were gobsmacked, saying, "We didn't think you were into this sort of thing!" Only then did I start to realize that my shyness had been taken for aloofness. I hadn't been invited to parties because people hadn't thought I'd be interested. So what had I been doing to give them that impression?
Even now, I tend to panic in conversation because I'm never sure what I'm supposed to say. And maybe I telegraph that panic. Maybe people sense that part of me (only part of me!) would rather not be talking to them, and that pushes them away.
Thoughts? Anyone else radiate a similar vibe?
I was excruciatingly shy and nerdy as a teenager, but by university I'd pulled together some semblance of a social life, even if I was only faking it (alcohol helped). So I was at the pub one evening when I ran into a couple of guys from high school. They were gobsmacked, saying, "We didn't think you were into this sort of thing!" Only then did I start to realize that my shyness had been taken for aloofness. I hadn't been invited to parties because people hadn't thought I'd be interested. So what had I been doing to give them that impression?
Even now, I tend to panic in conversation because I'm never sure what I'm supposed to say. And maybe I telegraph that panic. Maybe people sense that part of me (only part of me!) would rather not be talking to them, and that pushes them away.
Thoughts? Anyone else radiate a similar vibe?