The "just be yourself" fallacy

[Felgen]

It doesn’t matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married -- it’s the stock relationship answer when one doesn’t know or can’t think of anything else to say... but doesn’t want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

Enjoy...

 

[shore_of_glass]

oh so... it's almost like having to take a degree on talking to a woman. Actually LEARNING how to interact with another human being.

I don't know what to say of this, sounds stupid.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Every time I hear that I want to say "Who the f*** else am I going to be, Yul Brynner?!"

 

[BlueDays]

Every time I hear that I want to say "Who the f*** else am I going to be, Yul Brynner?!"

Don't become Yul Brynner! He was mean. I read that he once kicked a girl in the groin at a bar! That won't get you very far with women!!::

 

[BlueDays]

That's the ****ing truth! Anxious or calm, we're always ourselves. lol @ Yul Brynner! Is anyone here old enough to know who Yul Brynner is? lol Is Yul even a real name?

ok, now I feel REALLY old!!haha

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

^^Not me!

 

[BlueDays]

OMG! I don't mean to make you feel old! For what it's worth, I'm 26 and I know who Yul Brynner is!

Phew! Thank goodness you do actually know who Yul Brynner is! I don't feel so decrepit now!lol::
It's ok Serafina, I don't mind feeling old, I enjoy the experience that comes with it. Contrary to belief, there are some good things about getting older!

 

[Pookah]

^^Not me!

Who doesn't want to be Yul? Cept for the whole cancer part. :/

 

[madness_lover]

I disagree. The worst thing you could ever do is tell someone not to be themselves. Oh sure, they might get the girl..but the girl fell for an image rather than the person. Meanwhile the other person will never truly be happy because they will have to spend all of their time maintaining that image they have created. The lies will snowball and the person will eventually get emotionally drained and/or resentful. That mask will crack someday and then what?

Flirting and other techniques are meant to be complements to your personality. Not something to change who you are entirely.

 

[iamthenra]

^^Not me!

Dang.... I wished I looked like him, then maybe I would have a chance at marriage.... ???

 

[Anomaly]

We've been through this before http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/impress-girls-1st-time-24488/#post272853

 

[Hellhound]

I disagree... What's the point of pretending to be something you are not? In a true relationship, the other person should accept and love you for who you are, right? If someone doesn't accept you for who you are, at the point that you can't be yourself in front of them, then I'm afraid they aren't the right people to be with.

 

[Felgen]

I disagree... What's the point of pretending to be something you are not? In a true relationship, the other person should accept and love you for who you are, right? If someone doesn't accept you for who you are, at the point that you can't be yourself in front of them, then I'm afraid they aren't the right people to be with.

There's a difference between "beeing someone else" and learning som basic social skills that will help you in dating.

 

[xxaimsxx]

Since the lady gagas have come out though in the media its more acceptable to be different now.

I'm myself now. For a while i was being something i wernt.

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

I agree,belgen.Theres also scientifical evidence that suggests that being yourself is bad 4 u.

Teens Who Feel More Peer Pressure Turn Out Better, Not Worse - NurtureShock Blog - Newsweek.com