That is Soo Unattractive!

Ashiene

Ashiene

Well-known member
ImNotMyIllness said:
I noticed, when I'm passionate and excited, people are just drawn to me. I make friends easier, people ask to hang out with me all the time. It's like I'm magnetic. But, then out comes my dark and depressive side. Suddenly, I lose all hope. I see the drawback to anything and everything. I'm inconsolable.

And you know what happens? People start to disappear out of my life. :alone:
My calls aren't returned, emails are ignored. And of course, I get upset :veryangry: and attribute this to how unreliable and "fair weather" most people are.

Truth is. Who wants to be around someone that's always miserable?!! That is so unattractive!

If I don't believe in myself how can I expect anyone else to?
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I don't like to be around depressed people, so I can understand why others wouldn't want to be around me when I am depressed.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I think Dottie and Lamb are on the right track. When I say motivation, I don't mean it in the conventional sense. I mean an energy where I feel super human and can do anything. I'm electric and magnetic......ideas flow faster than I can write them. It's like I'm tuned into some higher power.

..............The thought of being Bipolar is not something that I've been willing to accept.................maybe.
Perhaps it's not motivation that I'm waiting for, but Mania, which I like to refer to as my normal state, the real me..........but is it? :idontknow:

My mood has been fluctuating rapidly lately. A few hours ago, I was hopeful and excited, which then swung back to depressed, hopeless and feeling suicidal.

:question: When I said I collect mental issues, I was being cute. I REALLY DO! :eek:h:

*I see a Psychiatrist later this month.
 
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nicole1

Well-known member
My advice is don't have shallow friends. I've had shallow friends who disappeared once things got too hard for me. They treated me like I was crazy. They weren't real friends. But I have made even better friends now who don't disappear on me, and others that I like to hang out with or chat with from time to time, I keep them in their place and kinda contact them on a certain basis. Out of boredom, out of loneliness...

But yea, find friends with a common knowledge of mental disorders, or even that goes through the same thing. They respect your space, understand, and sometimes even know how to pick you up when you are down or just come and cry with you.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
nicole1 said:
My advice is don't have shallow friends. I've had shallow friends who disappeared once things got too hard for me. They treated me like I was crazy. They weren't real friends. But I have made even better friends now who don't disappear on me, and others that I like to hang out with or chat with from time to time, I keep them in their place and kinda contact them on a certain basis. Out of boredom, out of loneliness...

But yea, find friends with a common knowledge of mental disorders, or even that goes through the same thing. They respect your space, understand, and sometimes even know how to pick you up when you are down or just come and cry with you.
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That's true. My good friends have always stuck by me thick and thin. They're there for me no matter what. I'm lucky to have found such people.

I guess for professional/social (lite friends) networking, a great attitude is important. I don't have this outer circle of friends and it puts me at some disadvantage in terms of employment.

For some reason, I tend to form either very strong relationships, or none at all.
 
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nicole1

Well-known member
I can really relate to that about form strong bonds or none at all. I also had to learn to...deal with that. Fake it. I found that I have to do this in certain places and situations. It makes things easy, puts space between me and others, and I get to get things done. No one has to know what you are suffering with. I learned it won't make things better.

My mother (I learned a lot from her) often told me to say this if someone ask how I'm doing: always say I'm fine. Say ok, smile, and let them think you are happy. I call some people surface friends, because they don't need to know more about me. I enjoy having deep relationships. But I don't have to have that with everyone.
 
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nicole1

Well-known member
I learned the hard way :kickingmyself: . I've had many embarrassing job interaction experiences. It sounds easier than it is. I distanced myself at the student paper and I felt WAY left out. One of the side effects of keeping space. But sometimes, people do invite me places even when I don't want them to.

The faking it, compartmentalizing certain people, and space just helps in this case.
 
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