Talking to ex okay or no?

[Necrucifer]

Just want to know how you guys feel about this...generally when I get dumped I dont want to have a thing to do with them...

this was because of my first actual relationship I was dumb enough to date the girl 7 times but I am talking with my ex right now...have to kind of stay in contact anyway if she is pregnant but It does kind of suck but feel like no one else to talk to right now.

Otherwise I wouldnt really contact her if it wasnt for that...I just took some amilphilazine or whatever to calm down I cant spell haha... I just dont think it helps with me mentaly really and its my way to heal over a period of time...but I also feel bad but then I dont because I am the one usually dumped.

 

[Silatuyok]

I don't keep in contact with exes, or at least I try not to. But then, you did read my post about pushing people away if they are not completely devoted to me, so...that may have something to do with not wanting them around anymore. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea in the long term, unless you have kids together of course.

 

[Necrucifer]

I guess it could be the same for me...but I dont know. I did post though but didnt know what else to say sorry I couldnt be of more help though on that, I dont completely understand it much why I do it...Yea it is a bad idea I guess...but its hard but she is a nice girl...3 more days till she gets paid...then I will find out if she is pregnant...I dont think I am to young to have a baby though...but was not ready for it...

Baggage is never good...I went into relationships like that before...didnt work well haha...was only a couple and I dumped them because I got so confused...Only people I have dumped believe it or not. Marie if you find out how to deal with that problem though let me know so It may be helpful to me to It's probably another reason why most my friends ditched me in the past.

 

[Section_31]

In this case, there may be larger implications if you DONT keep in touch with her, at least untill you know whether or not she is with child.

Lets say she is. If you suddenly disapeared or distanced yourself, she might interpret that as you trying to runaway and be a deadbeat dad. Now, i dont know her so maybe thats not her thought process, but its definately somthing to keep in mind, it could end up getting you burned bad financially and in other ways all over a simple misunderstanding. If it turns out she isnt pregnant, well, cut your losses (gently!) and life goes on.

Your a good guy Nec. Do what you need to do. If you do need to back away, maybe talk to her about it and make it clear that while you have no real desire to remain in touch that you will be there for the kid? (i think i saw in another post you had done this already.....forgive me if im slow on the draw). This will protect you from unnecesary and unintended lawsuits .

Keep us posted.

Me, personally, once my exes ended it that was that, i never believed in the just friends zone. Theres only one that im still in contact with, and thats because shes my wifes best friend. Not as awkward as it sounds actually but thats another story.

 

[RedMonkey]

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[Joh]

about me, i dont like to play with old Toys ! get new one or stop playing ....

 

[Necrucifer]

In this case, there may be larger implications if you DONT keep in touch with her, at least untill you know whether or not she is with child.

Lets say she is. If you suddenly disapeared or distanced yourself, she might interpret that as you trying to runaway and be a deadbeat dad. Now, i dont know her so maybe thats not her thought process, but its definately somthing to keep in mind, it could end up getting you burned bad financially and in other ways all over a simple misunderstanding. If it turns out she isnt pregnant, well, cut your losses (gently!) and life goes on.

Your a good guy Nec. Do what you need to do. If you do need to back away, maybe talk to her about it and make it clear that while you have no real desire to remain in touch that you will be there for the kid? (i think i saw in another post you had done this already.....forgive me if im slow on the draw). This will protect you from unnecesary and unintended lawsuits .

Keep us posted.

Me, personally, once my exes ended it that was that, i never believed in the just friends zone. Theres only one that im still in contact with, and thats because shes my wifes best friend. Not as awkward as it sounds actually but thats another story.

Yea I know I posted something similar...my bad kind of forgot and guess I shoulda posted this there instead just wasnt thinking at the time and was trying to figure more stuff out so thanks for not criticizing me on that. Yea I told her overtime I may contact her less and less as the kid grows up enough to get ahold of me him/herself if she does have one but told her if she doesnt end up being that I may then just stop.

She wants to be friends but technically I cant do that or its hard for me to but I know most of you understand this because why would I keep friends with someone that hurt me especially if they just fell out of love so she calls it which I think she just wasnt ready for any sort of commitment from being to young. She was 2 years younger than me so maybe she wanted to explore more, she just turned 21 at the start of this year.

I told her I was scared since I have other issues with anything social/leaving the house also but I didnt want to have any lawsuits and was scared of the results but wanted to be there for the kid and she said she wasnt a bitch and wouldnt do that but I do believe her she is a nice girl.

I couldnt think of having a kid with her and just leaving her with it the rest of her life and have it grow up without a father figure whether she may find someone else or not to fit the role but knowing my own kid if it were to be mine call someone else dad and not even know me would hurt me so I cant think why I wouldnt want to be with my own kid and couldnt just abandon it.

Thanks for that it made me feel a bit better I just am having random feelings about it but I know 100% what I want to do but just its hard to believe sometimes...this wouldnt of be happening if she woulda just told me when she found out though than make me suffer waiting till thur when she gets paid to get tested :/.

 

[Necrucifer]

I try to keep my distance from my ex. Well, they dump me and make me felt like hell. That's why! But, everytime they break up with their current BF.. they would rang me up and tell me they miss me bla bla bla.... me = rebound guy. It happen again last week. I keep telling myself don't talk to her... in the end... i end up talking to her... it's not bad.. it just hell. Definitely a NO.

This is how I feel and how it usually is for me sometimes when I get dumped, I usually dont go back to them but end up just fooling around...not smart though but yea it shouldnt go like that and I shouldnt bother even having contact. This is why sometimes I want a # change but I cant go and do that after every breakup to.

about me, i dont like to play with old Toys ! get new one or stop playing ....

I like some old toys haha they can be fun to play with, as for new you never know whats in store and can be worst than the old sadly.

 

[Felgen]

I tried to be friends with my ex, until I found out after a few weeks that she never wanted my friendship and just saw me as an emotional tampon. Furthermore, I was beginning to suspect that she was just trying to get pregnant back when we were still together.

 

[Necrucifer]

I tried to be friends with my ex, until I found out after a few weeks that she never wanted my friendship and just saw me as an emotional tampon. Furthermore, I was beginning to suspect that she was just trying to get pregnant back when we were still together.

So many of mine wanted to stay friends but I never could do it and just shrugged them off besides 2 but one I do not even contact no more just because well she's full of herself.

Yea I never had a girl try that one yet well the just wanting to get pregnant but yea if she did not want your friendship and just use you for emotional support I would just not talk to her no more...as for the pregnant thing definately if you suspect that.

 

[coyote]

i'm on good terms with my 1st ex-wife

i've known her longer than just about anyone else i know

she's really more like family

and she lets me do my laundry at her house

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

It is not always a bad idea. It just depends on the people involved. Sometimes, exes end up becoming good friends after they break up.

 

[Necrucifer]

i'm on good terms with my 1st ex-wife

i've known her longer than just about anyone else i know

she's really more like family

and she lets me do my laundry at her house

I couldnt do that but I am glad you think that way If I was the one who divorced I could see that as no problem but if it was the other way around would be hard for me.

It is not always a bad idea. It just depends on the people involved. Sometimes, exes end up becoming good friends after they break up.

Yea some are good dont get me wrong but usually only it depends on what happened to other than the person itself but thats just my opinion though.

 

[Necrucifer]

....Ex is pregnant I feel like all my blood just went to my head and feel like I am gonna go on a rage or just pass out...my andrenaline wont stop. I dont know what to do and I know what to do but also doesnt help I might be homeless soon so great...not the house just me.

 

[Feathers]

Aww, Neco... I know this wasn't what you were hoping for, remember you'd still be a really great dad though!!

And things can still happen, even if people really want kids... How far along is she? And was this a 'proper' test in a hospital, blood test?

The 'homeless' thing is more worrying... How did this come about? Is there a chance you could go live with friends or relatives?
Is there a local/gov program that could help? Or a church or a shelter or anything?

Staying with parents or grandparents or other relatives may not alway be so great, it can be 'survivable' though... especially if it's only for a while, while you get your life 'together' again...

A friend of mine is friends with all her exes, sort of... or at least 'friendly'... I read it may depend which Myers-Briggs personality you are (?) For some people it's easier and more 'natural'... (She calls her ex husband when she needs something done or for stuff related to their dog etc, and oddly enough, he comes and does it, though he has a new family now - sometimes he's reportedly 'happy to escape' from the woman he's with now??) So, all sorts of things can happen...

Personally, I tried being friends with an ex, it didn't work out, but I'd still help if he needed help I guess... (depends on what I guess) Otherwise usually it's just easier to cut contact I guess, though it can be 'odd' if people reappear again, accidentally...

Well, if she's pregnant she'll probably need some help, does she have support at home, what do grandparents/relatives say...? What do your folks say...? Sometimes grandparents or family can help a lot, especially if things were 'unexpected' like this... Parents can be loud and grumble, but usually they LOVE their grandchildren!!

Things for the baby can usually be gotten for free (or very cheap) from relatives or with help of Freecycle or a charity or such... Food for baby, if she's able to breastfeed, is 'free' at start too... And since she has a job she probably has healthcare covered...

Take care Neco, and remember you'll be a great dad!!

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

If I were caught talking to an ex my manhood would be in a vice before I knew what was happening. Actualy, if I were caught talking to any woman apart from the wifes closest friends that vice would be tighter.

 

[Necrucifer]

She just took a pregnancy test nothing more but I am 100% sure its mine...It's due in july so I'll be finding out around then I guess if its mine. As for the homeless thing, my dad does not understand me no matter how much my mom tries to explain things.

He thinks I am slacking when I do all the work around the house but he just sits on his ass all day playing video games and then sleeps, drinks, eats, goes to work and repeat. I mean come on what am I suppose to do if I get interviews but they choose someone more qualified? I had 3 so far, might have a 4th if I get lucky and hope I get it but still I am doing what I can but he's just an *******.

He also threatened to kill mom a couple times before if she left him and yea he doesnt like me much because I have balls to stand up to him and tell him he needs to stop being a dick or else I'll do something about it. Dont tell me to call the police one of my sisters already had three times on him but they dont do anything. Funny thing is if anything were to happen to mom...hes not in the will so he's out of the house HA, karmas a bitch. He's a drunk also, not the funny kind the ******* kind. Only real reason why I still live here is to protect mom and my lil sis. He can be ok at times but its all about him 24/7.

Mom was in the hospital for a week and she gave him money for groceries...he spent it on booze and kept the rest to himself didnt buy anything all week and we were low on food. Also asked if I ordered a pizza me and my buddy that was over could have half of it and he would answer the door and get it...guess what? He said no one was getting any but him stupid crap...trying not to cuss, I only behave most the time unless he gets outa hand because dont need my mom stressing after she had surgery to get half her lung removed. They think she has cancer but not 100% sure exactly yet? dont ask me how they dont know...

Anyway back on subject sorry for venting...I can only stay friends with an ex if I only dated them a month to where I didnt get to attached, 2 years yea it sucks and its hard to do but she's having a baby and I got to be there for her blah blah not getting back together we both made that clear but if something happens along the way maybe but I dont think I would want to. As for the baby I am keeping contact with her till I know for sure it's mine and if it isnt I'm gone haha, but till I know I cant just not talk to her so but I do believe her, she wouldnt lie about something like that.