Klonoa
Well-known member
I'm posting this in OCD section becuse I feel is a compulsive obsession I got me with demanding answers/explanations that make me feel INCREDIBLY anxious and angry. Right now my blood is boiling a lot, so I'll try to articulate my post as calm as I can.
Since I was a child, I had no say in most stuff in my family, to this day it seems that my opinion or what I have to say isn't important, that I am... taken for granted, I believe is the term.
For example, if mom or sis were to say we're going to X place, I'd ask as a kid "why?/what for?/for how long?" out of sheer curiosity. They always replied "Do you have anything important to do right now or something?" in a rather annoyed tone. It has prevailed to this day.
But then it got worse when in school, teachers and classmates alike, began treating me with the same scorn, albeit in a passive matter, if I had said something, it'd get ignored silently. It'd make my eye twitch as my rage meter raised.
And then, the OTHER problem linked to this issue and where my obsession kicks in:
Has it ever happened to you guys that other people (usually friends) do anything (from doing a cheaty strategy in videogames, to certain characters in roleplay) and you and anybody called them out for it, it being silly stuff for sh**s and giggles, but when one tries to do it, wanting to join the fun, YOU get called out for it?
That's when my patience vein breaks right now and boiling blood fills my eyes and I swear I want to f***ing punch a boxing sandbag until it breaks. I demand answers, and they just dodge the question or outright refuse to answer. And THEN, I get p***ed.
WHAT kind of right do other people enjoy that when we play the same game, when I do it it's wrong!?
WHAT is the DAMN reason nobody will ever acknowledge I exist and I have an opinion!?
I get angrier and angrier because my OCD goes from being "slight non-important" to completely obsessed for having a damn answer, to know WHAT am I doing wrong, AM I THE BLACK PLAGUE OR SOMETHING!?
And the worst part is, this angriness and anxiousness, which feels like hands crushing my lungs as I begin to lightly ventilate with my mouth, feeling a bit choked, won't let me be for a week, maybe 2.
Maybe a month.
Atomic F-Bomb.
This has been a rage-written post by Klonoa. Goodnight.
Since I was a child, I had no say in most stuff in my family, to this day it seems that my opinion or what I have to say isn't important, that I am... taken for granted, I believe is the term.
For example, if mom or sis were to say we're going to X place, I'd ask as a kid "why?/what for?/for how long?" out of sheer curiosity. They always replied "Do you have anything important to do right now or something?" in a rather annoyed tone. It has prevailed to this day.
But then it got worse when in school, teachers and classmates alike, began treating me with the same scorn, albeit in a passive matter, if I had said something, it'd get ignored silently. It'd make my eye twitch as my rage meter raised.
And then, the OTHER problem linked to this issue and where my obsession kicks in:
Has it ever happened to you guys that other people (usually friends) do anything (from doing a cheaty strategy in videogames, to certain characters in roleplay) and you and anybody called them out for it, it being silly stuff for sh**s and giggles, but when one tries to do it, wanting to join the fun, YOU get called out for it?
That's when my patience vein breaks right now and boiling blood fills my eyes and I swear I want to f***ing punch a boxing sandbag until it breaks. I demand answers, and they just dodge the question or outright refuse to answer. And THEN, I get p***ed.
WHAT kind of right do other people enjoy that when we play the same game, when I do it it's wrong!?
WHAT is the DAMN reason nobody will ever acknowledge I exist and I have an opinion!?
I get angrier and angrier because my OCD goes from being "slight non-important" to completely obsessed for having a damn answer, to know WHAT am I doing wrong, AM I THE BLACK PLAGUE OR SOMETHING!?
And the worst part is, this angriness and anxiousness, which feels like hands crushing my lungs as I begin to lightly ventilate with my mouth, feeling a bit choked, won't let me be for a week, maybe 2.
Maybe a month.
Atomic F-Bomb.
This has been a rage-written post by Klonoa. Goodnight.