Suicide not the answer? Why not?
- Thread starter endoflife
- Start date
Doomed2Die
Well-known member
~ PlaceboEffect
I agree with you about the power of change, but alot of the time it's not as easy as you make it to be. Different person, different level of SA.
I agree with you about the power of change, but alot of the time it's not as easy as you make it to be. Different person, different level of SA.
strawberrybrunette
Well-known member
PlaceboEffect said:
See, what you don't understand is that YOU ARE BEING VERY PATRONISING.
Speaking from a personal point of view, if i had the strength and willpower inside me to change the way i am, i would have done it by now.
PlaceboEffect
Well-known member
The first three sentences were there to grab attention.. And I'm glad they served their purpose.
What some of you don't understand is that just a week ago one of my childhood friends committed suicide. Do you think I laughed? Do you think anyone could laugh at something like that?
No, whatever reasons you might find, when it really comes down to it suicide is the worst way out of your life problems.
Problems can be solved, but the fact that your parents, siblings and friends will lose someone they love can never be changed. And beyond that one needs to understand that there are two different solutions to every problem:
1. band aid solution
2. real solution
Band aid solutions are those that can be categorized as "quick fixes", "magic pills" and are a quick way out of your problem without really solving anything. Suicide fits in this category. It doesn't solve anything, it just ends the pain.
Now real solutions are solutions that deal with the core of the problem. Lets say you want to lose 100 pounds in one month. I mean, let's be sane here, you know it's not possible to do it so quickly. But let's suppose you still want to do it. Will you commit suicide because it's not possible to solve the problem in one month? No.. you will accept it might take more then one month to achieve your goal and you'll start working toward it. It's that simple.
The harsh truth is that for any change energy is needed. And another harsh truth is that change is usually slow.
See, deep change is by it's nature slow. But you can see small improvements in a matter of days.
Wrong. While it's true that some degree of courage is needed to do it, the truth be told: suicide is not a courageous thing to do.
And why is that? It's because suicide means running away from problems instead of facing them, it means to inflict pain in the people that are close to you, it means to stop fighting, it means to admit defeat...
Let me tell you whats courageous:
Facing your fears when all odds are against you.
Admitting that you might not know the answer and asking for help.
Fighting each and every day and pursuing your dreams.
Not letting anything to keep you from living your life to its fullest.
Never admitting defeat.
Taking right action and constantly improving yourself.
And most of all: Never ever ever stopping trying.
I mean think about it... There are people encouraging eachothers to do suicide and looking for reasons why it's okay to do it??
It's true, willpower itself will rarely help you achieve something. How many people can "will" themselves to stop smoking?
But you can have a standard for yourself. You can decide to get this part of your life handled no matter what.
And you can search for solutions from there.
Small improvements applied daily will create extraordinary results over time.
What some of you don't understand is that just a week ago one of my childhood friends committed suicide. Do you think I laughed? Do you think anyone could laugh at something like that?
No, whatever reasons you might find, when it really comes down to it suicide is the worst way out of your life problems.
Problems can be solved, but the fact that your parents, siblings and friends will lose someone they love can never be changed. And beyond that one needs to understand that there are two different solutions to every problem:
1. band aid solution
2. real solution
Band aid solutions are those that can be categorized as "quick fixes", "magic pills" and are a quick way out of your problem without really solving anything. Suicide fits in this category. It doesn't solve anything, it just ends the pain.
Now real solutions are solutions that deal with the core of the problem. Lets say you want to lose 100 pounds in one month. I mean, let's be sane here, you know it's not possible to do it so quickly. But let's suppose you still want to do it. Will you commit suicide because it's not possible to solve the problem in one month? No.. you will accept it might take more then one month to achieve your goal and you'll start working toward it. It's that simple.
The harsh truth is that for any change energy is needed. And another harsh truth is that change is usually slow.
See, deep change is by it's nature slow. But you can see small improvements in a matter of days.
Wrong. While it's true that some degree of courage is needed to do it, the truth be told: suicide is not a courageous thing to do.
And why is that? It's because suicide means running away from problems instead of facing them, it means to inflict pain in the people that are close to you, it means to stop fighting, it means to admit defeat...
Let me tell you whats courageous:
Facing your fears when all odds are against you.
Admitting that you might not know the answer and asking for help.
Fighting each and every day and pursuing your dreams.
Not letting anything to keep you from living your life to its fullest.
Never admitting defeat.
Taking right action and constantly improving yourself.
And most of all: Never ever ever stopping trying.
I mean think about it... There are people encouraging eachothers to do suicide and looking for reasons why it's okay to do it??
It's true, willpower itself will rarely help you achieve something. How many people can "will" themselves to stop smoking?
But you can have a standard for yourself. You can decide to get this part of your life handled no matter what.
And you can search for solutions from there.
Small improvements applied daily will create extraordinary results over time.
Marie_knowsbestt
Well-known member
Its all true, for what ever we have learned behaviours, they become a problem when the behaviour gets to out of context and you apply it too everything! for example you may avoid old people, for example, eventualy through this behaviour you aviod everyone. very simple example, but obv its a much more complicated process.
every behaviour can there for be change and re-learned. i think first comes accepting who you are, rather than wanting to be like others, then its going out and learning behaviour that satisfys ur need to express yourself. i myself, i like talking to people, but too much i find draining, so im never gonna be someone whos always out on the go go go! that just ent me, so its not worth trying to be like that, because it will never feel right.
so as far a suicide ia concerned its a narrow minded, lazy option. because like placebo said, your choices are endless, and it ent gonna be easy to change, ive spent 4 years trying to be the person i want to be again, and theres still things i struggle with, still! after 4 years! that dont mean im givng up coz its taken that long, it means i need to try new things, and maybe if after 2 years still im not satisfied, i might have to just accept who i am by the way i am now.
i think im the bee's knees! but my problem is, im scared people wont like me, even tho i like myself, so the thing i need to work on is not loving myself, its not letting other people make me question that love for myself. and it took alot of time to get that far i tell ya!
so people find it stupid when people say i wanna die, because theres others who actualy had more courage, and just delt with there problems, not ran from them.
every behaviour can there for be change and re-learned. i think first comes accepting who you are, rather than wanting to be like others, then its going out and learning behaviour that satisfys ur need to express yourself. i myself, i like talking to people, but too much i find draining, so im never gonna be someone whos always out on the go go go! that just ent me, so its not worth trying to be like that, because it will never feel right.
so as far a suicide ia concerned its a narrow minded, lazy option. because like placebo said, your choices are endless, and it ent gonna be easy to change, ive spent 4 years trying to be the person i want to be again, and theres still things i struggle with, still! after 4 years! that dont mean im givng up coz its taken that long, it means i need to try new things, and maybe if after 2 years still im not satisfied, i might have to just accept who i am by the way i am now.
i think im the bee's knees! but my problem is, im scared people wont like me, even tho i like myself, so the thing i need to work on is not loving myself, its not letting other people make me question that love for myself. and it took alot of time to get that far i tell ya!
so people find it stupid when people say i wanna die, because theres others who actualy had more courage, and just delt with there problems, not ran from them.
strawberrybrunette
Well-known member
PlaceboEffect said:
Actually, again i have to beg to differ. Is willpower not THE most important factor when it comes to changing things like this? Sure, drugs like beta-blockers might help, but, ultimately, if you don't have the strength of will to change, then change is not going to happen.
Everyone i've every spoken to about my anxiety, that is, health-care professionals and ordinary people, have told me that "change has to come from inside yourself" ie. the desire to change, and the strength of will to force yourself to change.
And, just a footnote, i find your obnoxiously positive attitude perfectly irritating. You are not being very sympathetic to anyone on this messageboard. This kind of change is not easy - clearly you have never been depressed/socially anxious, and have never faced that vast up-hill struggle that is depression/social anxiety.
PlaceboEffect
Well-known member
What is it that's really bothering you with my posts?
They are too positive? Should I make them just a bit more negative or should they be 100% negative?
I'm not sympathetic? Should I cry with you and tell you how bad I feel that you have this condition and how sorry I am? I don't even know you.
I've never been socially anxious? Haha this one cracks me up. If you read my posts you'd notice that I did have problems with socializing due to having extreme HH but I took massive action and lo and behold, now I'm one of the most outgoing and social guys in my social circle.
And I've not once said that change is easy. You are turning around my words and seeking conflicts. I have nor time nor energy to defend myself against accusations that aren't even remotely true.
Re-read my posts and detach yourself from the current viewpoint you have and you just might see what I've really tried to communicate.
They are too positive? Should I make them just a bit more negative or should they be 100% negative?
I'm not sympathetic? Should I cry with you and tell you how bad I feel that you have this condition and how sorry I am? I don't even know you.
I've never been socially anxious? Haha this one cracks me up. If you read my posts you'd notice that I did have problems with socializing due to having extreme HH but I took massive action and lo and behold, now I'm one of the most outgoing and social guys in my social circle.
And I've not once said that change is easy. You are turning around my words and seeking conflicts. I have nor time nor energy to defend myself against accusations that aren't even remotely true.
Re-read my posts and detach yourself from the current viewpoint you have and you just might see what I've really tried to communicate.
Helyna
Well-known member
What has happened to this topic?
I read it before it had any responses. I wanted to help the poor guy who was only my age and wanted ot die. By the time I finished my first reply, two other people had posted shorter ones. Now look at it. 12 pages. Top of the month, for goodness sake. Why? Because so many people like to talk about death. To try to convince people to committ suicide or not. Well, I think the topic shouldn't be about that. It should be about the guy who started it and who might be dead now. I've had enough of this - enough of people trying to claim that suicide is or isn't corageous. There are rules in this site, and they're there for a reason. Yes, it is depressing to hear about death. Yes, hearing people claim that suicide is good could convince someone to end his/her life when things could get better. I'd rather not have this deleted - so many people have spent time writing - but if there's a way to lock it so nobody else can post, I wish someone would. If there isn't, stop complaining and just delete it. I'm not going to read it anymore. If endoflife shows up again, someone please PM me and let me know.
---
Prae: I appreciate the intention, but some of us don't like to hear "god bless." I actually find it insulting that people assume that we're all religious. It's kind of funny that I live in the Bible Belt.
PlaceboEffect: Do I believe in what you're saying? Yes. Are you rude? Yes. Am I like that sometimes? Yes.
Maybe you just don't believe that you have it.
I read it before it had any responses. I wanted to help the poor guy who was only my age and wanted ot die. By the time I finished my first reply, two other people had posted shorter ones. Now look at it. 12 pages. Top of the month, for goodness sake. Why? Because so many people like to talk about death. To try to convince people to committ suicide or not. Well, I think the topic shouldn't be about that. It should be about the guy who started it and who might be dead now. I've had enough of this - enough of people trying to claim that suicide is or isn't corageous. There are rules in this site, and they're there for a reason. Yes, it is depressing to hear about death. Yes, hearing people claim that suicide is good could convince someone to end his/her life when things could get better. I'd rather not have this deleted - so many people have spent time writing - but if there's a way to lock it so nobody else can post, I wish someone would. If there isn't, stop complaining and just delete it. I'm not going to read it anymore. If endoflife shows up again, someone please PM me and let me know.
---
Prae: I appreciate the intention, but some of us don't like to hear "god bless." I actually find it insulting that people assume that we're all religious. It's kind of funny that I live in the Bible Belt.
PlaceboEffect: Do I believe in what you're saying? Yes. Are you rude? Yes. Am I like that sometimes? Yes.
strawberrybrunette said:
Maybe you just don't believe that you have it.
I think it is about time for this board to literally... DIE!!! 
. It's just too much.
. It's just too much.
missblueyes123
Member
Depressed
I understand what you are saying completely. I just graduated high school and have been very depressed since 10th grade. I've been to many different doctors and therapist. Lots of medication, hospital stays, and also had electric shock done. Nothing has worked. I had a wonderful life before my depression and I always thought that it would come back but I've lost most hope. I've attempted suicide before, but was found before I died which really sucked. I mainly don't kill myself now because I know it would really hurt my family and closest friends. I'm also a little afraid of failing at a suicide attempt again. I would love to die right now. I don't care if I have a great life to come, because I'm so tired of being depressed the wait does not seem worth it. I'd enjoy talking to you more because it seems you feel the same as me..which is nice, because no one else I talk to does.
I understand what you are saying completely. I just graduated high school and have been very depressed since 10th grade. I've been to many different doctors and therapist. Lots of medication, hospital stays, and also had electric shock done. Nothing has worked. I had a wonderful life before my depression and I always thought that it would come back but I've lost most hope. I've attempted suicide before, but was found before I died which really sucked. I mainly don't kill myself now because I know it would really hurt my family and closest friends. I'm also a little afraid of failing at a suicide attempt again. I would love to die right now. I don't care if I have a great life to come, because I'm so tired of being depressed the wait does not seem worth it. I'd enjoy talking to you more because it seems you feel the same as me..which is nice, because no one else I talk to does.
MotherWolff
Banned
Isn't it neat how every living thing can sense right from wrong? Well, almost everything...Those mental diseases(SAD, depression) that have a hold on you, endoflife and the rest of us are just as painful as physical diseases(cancer for example). Now I remember when my grand dad on my mom's side of the family passed away.
During his final hours here, on this chaos-ridden Earth with only specs of peace, my step grand mom decided to take him off of life support. Why? Because she, and the rest of the family(including me) decided that his death would serve him better than living as an incapable "vegetable"(he suffered from a severe stroke). Basically we weren't thinking about what would be best for us but what would be best for him. We didn't want to watch him suffer. This reminds me of you endoflife.
From what you described on your life, you seem to face more bad than good with no chances of improvement. But does that mean you should just give up your life? I really don't know. Sometimes when I get suicide ideations(happens almost daily especially when I'm alone) I think about countless cancer treated patients who overcame their cancer some how(perhaps by "will") even after the doctors say "We did what we could but your expected to die in *number goes here* days/weeks/months/years. Regardless of their degraded health they press onward. I've always found people like this to be "warriors/conquerers of life".
That's one reason I revere wolves. They are determined enough survivors to live in the most inhospitable conditions. I think if a wolf can do it you can too endoflife. ^_^ As long as you believe your life will improve. I suppose hope and faith are truly the only motivation that can keep us going. But I sometimes wonder if wolves(any animal) consider suicide? Yeah I would rather erase myself than let some murderer do it for me. I hope ghosts are real so when I die I can haunt all the bad people(and annoying people>_<)for as long as they live!
Yes Kien, those are the primary reasons why I haven't killed myself yet. I haven't even tried much self-harm before. But I sure do think about it. :/ Hey let me know if you ever discover a painless way to do suicide. I'd be interested in reading about that.
During his final hours here, on this chaos-ridden Earth with only specs of peace, my step grand mom decided to take him off of life support. Why? Because she, and the rest of the family(including me) decided that his death would serve him better than living as an incapable "vegetable"(he suffered from a severe stroke). Basically we weren't thinking about what would be best for us but what would be best for him. We didn't want to watch him suffer. This reminds me of you endoflife.
From what you described on your life, you seem to face more bad than good with no chances of improvement. But does that mean you should just give up your life? I really don't know. Sometimes when I get suicide ideations(happens almost daily especially when I'm alone) I think about countless cancer treated patients who overcame their cancer some how(perhaps by "will") even after the doctors say "We did what we could but your expected to die in *number goes here* days/weeks/months/years. Regardless of their degraded health they press onward. I've always found people like this to be "warriors/conquerers of life".
That's one reason I revere wolves. They are determined enough survivors to live in the most inhospitable conditions. I think if a wolf can do it you can too endoflife. ^_^ As long as you believe your life will improve. I suppose hope and faith are truly the only motivation that can keep us going. But I sometimes wonder if wolves(any animal) consider suicide? Yeah I would rather erase myself than let some murderer do it for me. I hope ghosts are real so when I die I can haunt all the bad people(and annoying people>_<)for as long as they live!
Kien said:
Yes Kien, those are the primary reasons why I haven't killed myself yet. I haven't even tried much self-harm before. But I sure do think about it. :/ Hey let me know if you ever discover a painless way to do suicide. I'd be interested in reading about that.
VioletTears
Well-known member
You know, at first I thought it was "wrong" to have a rule against writing about suicide, or to block out the word k-i-l-l because suicidal thoughts so often run parellel to any mental illness and people NEED to talk. Shutting those emotions in is so unhealthy... But after reading this thread I totally understand why there is a rule. It really makes me sick. For anyone who hasn't been there (as in, been suicidal) and doesn't understand it, please go on Google or something and look up "what to say to someone who is suicidal."
People get mad at those who say suicide is great but saying things along the lines of, "Things aren't really that bad. If you really wanted to die you would kill yourself" is SO much worse. Why? Because at least the people who say suicide is great UNDESTAND and are probably going through the same thing, but those who say the later are not only proving that they DON'T understand, they are also more or less saying "I will never believe you or give any validity to your feelings unless you do kill yourself." So then the suicidal person feels like the only way they will be heard is if they PROVE it by actually killing themselves or attempting to. And yes, if someone is contemplating suicide things ARE that bad. You wouldn't tell someone with chest pains and a history of risk factors for heart disease that they were fine because they were still alive. Depression is an illness in which suicide is sometimes the end result when the person feels all other options are extinguished. Can we all just accept that someone who posts saying they want to die needs help and support and someone who will TRY to understand how they reached the cliff in the first place? And yes, things ARE that bad because suicide is always the last resort when a person feels all other hope has been exhausted. It's human instinct to want to survive, deep down everyone knows that death isn't desirable, the problem is that for many it's way more desirable than life BECAUSE life is too painful and hopeless...
I hope that the original poster is okay and that they have found a better source of support than this thread...
People get mad at those who say suicide is great but saying things along the lines of, "Things aren't really that bad. If you really wanted to die you would kill yourself" is SO much worse. Why? Because at least the people who say suicide is great UNDESTAND and are probably going through the same thing, but those who say the later are not only proving that they DON'T understand, they are also more or less saying "I will never believe you or give any validity to your feelings unless you do kill yourself." So then the suicidal person feels like the only way they will be heard is if they PROVE it by actually killing themselves or attempting to. And yes, if someone is contemplating suicide things ARE that bad. You wouldn't tell someone with chest pains and a history of risk factors for heart disease that they were fine because they were still alive. Depression is an illness in which suicide is sometimes the end result when the person feels all other options are extinguished. Can we all just accept that someone who posts saying they want to die needs help and support and someone who will TRY to understand how they reached the cliff in the first place? And yes, things ARE that bad because suicide is always the last resort when a person feels all other hope has been exhausted. It's human instinct to want to survive, deep down everyone knows that death isn't desirable, the problem is that for many it's way more desirable than life BECAUSE life is too painful and hopeless...
I hope that the original poster is okay and that they have found a better source of support than this thread...