Struggling to reconnect with an old friend

[SilentAndShy]

So ten years ago, my best friend left to another town far away.

We stayed in touch intermittently but six months ago, he was around my town more due to work and we met up once every few weeks with another mate of mine.

I don't know why but I just feel we haven't reconnected. When we talk, there are some pauses and I just cringe because I don't know what to say and he's my best friend. The things we laughed about as 16 year olds, he's moved on from.

I feel nervous and I hate it because he's my best mate. I shouldn't be feeling nervous.

Can anyone relate or advise?

Thank you.

 

[Silatuyok]

I can relate. My best friend from highschool still considers me to be her best friend, I guess, but I don't even feel like she is a friend at all anymore. We went our separate ways a long time ago, and honestly whenever we meet up anymore, which is less than once a year, I have pretty much nothing to talk about with her.
I guess you could either try to create a new friendship with your old friend, or shrug it off and move on with your life.

 

[jaim38]

I can relate. I had an old friend that I knew since elementary. We used to be close. Back then I was very immature and kind of a horrible person. She was more mature and would sometimes be passive aggressive towards me. My mom wanted me to be like her because she's smart, mature, and social. Eventually I moved away and we quickly grew apart. She developed her own circle of friends and still has the same personality, I think. Now she's abroad. I think she moved on from me. I don't regret it because I've changed a lot and realized how incompatible we are.

 

[Odo]

I've had some pretty bad experiences trying to reconnect with people... but I've had good ones as well. Overall I tend to avoid it, though.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I guess you could either try to create a new friendship with your old friend, or shrug it off and move on with your life.

I think I'll try the former. He's a good friend and I think I've not realised that last time we were together when we were 16 and now we are 26 and he's moved on from the things we used to laugh and joke about. We tend to have more conversations on text than face to face or over the phone. It's like I get really nervous when talking over the phone/person for some reason. I think if I say something, he won't find it funny.

 

[sahxox]

Yes it can be difficult reconnecting with people. I find that firstly letting go of expectations takes the pressure off, and secondly make an effort to relax as this will bring out the real you and see if there's still something there with this friend. Moving apart is a normal part of life, all the best.

 

[MikeyC]

Can anyone relate or advise?

I think most people can relate, even those without social anxiety. It's just the normal progression of time, really.

If you're interested in still trying to reconnect with your friend, still see him. You never know when you feel that "click" with him again.