Strange urges/compulsions

[recluse]

This is something which has been bothering me for so long, but it's only really re-started since just after Christmas. I've had this problem for many years on and off, but it seems to get worse when i am anxious, depressed, or tired. Anyway here goes.

Say i am listening to the radio and a song comes on i get the overwhelming urge to go through a list in my mind, or even out aloud (when alone in the car) other songs by the same artist/band. It's as if i feel the need to know trivia about everything, and i'll then get stuck in loop thinking about these songs over and over and i get irritated if i think i've missed out a detail from the song like the right lyrics, melody etc. The same goes when i am watching a film and then i'll go through a list in my mind of films an actor from the film has been in. Another example is i'll think of countries and i'll name cities from that country in my head.

I know that i don't need to do these compulsions but i feel i can't resist. It's got so bad over the past few weeks that i've got to the stage of writing lists on paper.

It's as if my life depends on knowing everything. I feel very anxious and unable to enjoy anything.

Oh and also i get obsessed with people, like memorizing their faces and what they said to me. In particular a love interest of mine who pretty much made it clear a year ago that she only sees me as an 'aqquaintance' i can't stop thinking about her, and i have to visualize what she looks like in my head or i feel i will go crazy. To begin with i accepted the fact that she does not see me in a romantic way and i felt great being so apathetic..I felt care-free so why since i saw her at easter have i been so obsessed with her?

 

[Apersonalan]

I don't think I've had the exact same thing but something similar. Not only did everything have to be precise or in order but I had to think about it in full detail or else much like you it's all I could think about and I just couldn't move on, full of numbness and lack of feeling and enjoyment, it could relate to material possessions, something I said to someone if they like me or not, what a stare means or what my friends meant, anything like that. The point, I had to think things through in great detail, if I had missed a show or something I'd have to come up with a list of possibilities of what could of happened and what I'd missed, so silly to the point I'd miss the rest of the show even while watching, thinking it through with so much apathy and lack of attention. I've had this problem but my father still has it and I can see he doesn't analyze as much as me so he can't get passed the issue as easily as I did. Different but similar problems, the only real difference is that most of these problems for me were in relation to my past. I divide everything I'm trying to think about into their important parts and think about them more easily that way, it gives more relief and less stress as I'm not trying to cram so much information all in at once which is where the real problem stems as the mind can't translate it so fluidly. As for your girlfriend it most likely relates to only CARING about people you know, I never had ocd problems about people if I never cared for them first.

 

[mikebird]

A desire to attack / murder those who have caused me to be in the state I am

Nothing strange there

I find that urge quite fulfilling - mostly to do with unemployment. But those actions will never be fulfilled

I'm rational

 

[TheSanctuarian]

I am a very compulsive liar. its never anything important, but because of my untrusting nature, I feel the need to lie about my past to make people think better of me. I'm not hiding anything, I just have a very boring life. I am usually very consistent to avoid suspicion.

 

[Apersonalan]

no attention span

...wtf lol

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I used to count the tiles on the sidewalk, count the number of words in some sentences, sometimes when there was something I wanted to do fast I would think to myself "If I don't get this done in X seconds somebody close to me is going to die", bizzarre, I know LOL.

And what I have to say is the weirdest of it all, when I feel humilliated or vulnerable, the exact moment when the feeling strucks me, I say the name of a girl I knew years ago and for whom I developed strong romantic feelings. This happens every single time, almost like an instinct.

Sometimes is just a whisper, sometimes I say it out loud, sometimes people notice and I have to pretend I was singing or some other nonsense.

Gosh, I'm so crazy... So much that I don't even care anymore .

 

[BDDgirl]

If I shake hands with someone, I fell a desperate urge to run to the bathroom and wash my hands.

 

[Duncan92]

I have sooo many compulsions. Many to do with people. If somebody says something to me or to anyone else within earshot, I analyze everything that was said and try to find a reason for why they may have said it. I'll wonder what happened to them that day or in their lifetime that has caused them to say the things they are saying. I wish I could just listen and respond accordingly. All the responses I give out are in an attempt to stay on the good side of that person, even if it means saying something I usually wouldn't.

 

[recluse]

steppen wolf - I also get the urge to say certain words in my head but it then escelates to me actually whispering and it gets faster and faster. Sometimes i say the word aloud whenever i am alone. I also have to visualize what the woman looks like as if to comfort me, this happens when i am feeling vunerable, but actually most of the time too.

I get songs stuck in my head which i have to repeat over and over untill they sound just right, and even scenes/images from films i like.

BDD girl - I don't get any of the germs thing just the mental rituals.

 

[TommyB]

As long as I can remember,whenever I am a passenger in a car I have to press my finger or foot before and after every single passing telephone pole.
I dont know why...I doubt anyone else has the same need to do this.It has to fall in the category of people who dont step on the cracks in the sidewalk.

I suppose thats more OCD.

I also have to be constantly learning new things,but I dont go deep into every exact detail.In fact im the opposite.I try and find a way to be good at it without any teaching at all.This may sound a little crazy,but I believe all the answers we need are inside ourselves.
Schooling will of course teach you everything to date on the subject,but as history has shown over and over again,how something is perceived now,will be laughed at then.You have to shield yourself from the way its done now,in order to find the way it will be done next.

somewhere down the line,someone will figure out that if you approach a piano the same way you would type out a love letter on your computer,youll make pretty music.
Could you imagine that??If it lined up that easily?

Theres way easier ways to do everything.As an intelligent form of life,were very very young yet.The stuff we have yet to discover we are capable of doing are going to be shocking.

 

[recluse]

I have a fear of forgetting things i have learnt and memories. For example i recall conversations i've had with people i care about maybe from years ago, and i recall messages and emails i've had too...I mean word for word! I do it because i feel insecure so i analyze these messages as a kind of reassurance that people like me.

 

[Duncan92]

I have a fear of forgetting things i have learnt and memories. For example i recall conversations i've had with people i care about maybe from years ago, and i recall messages and emails i've had too...I mean word for word! I do it because i feel insecure so i analyze these messages as a kind of reassurance that people like me.

I've definitely done that before. In the past I've read messages over and over, reassuring myself that I am liked, or that the person did want to talk to me and isn't blowing me off. One of my biggest issues has been thinking that I am boring.

These days I tend to do this compulsive thinking pattern when in the company of others and its usually if someone looks, or just glances at me. Thinks run through my head like 'Did he/she find me attractive?' etc. It's often around my looks which makes me feel vain and arrogant. But I think it may be a protective thing. I immediately assume they are checking me out. Quite ashamed of that habit.

 

[recluse]

^ Yeah exactly! For example say i have messages like '' I miss you''.....''You are handsome''....''I wish we could hang out''....messages which i feel makes me feel worthy i obsess over them because i feel i base my self-esteem on them. If i don't get any compliments o'r anything for a long time i begin to panic. My self worth is reliant on other people saying they like me.

I tried deleting all my old messages from my email and my phone but now i just remember them from memory, i find myself repeating over and over untill i think i've remembered all the details.

 

[noelliesmommy]

Funny because when I was a teenager I did this exact same thing. I had a huge crush on a boy and I would stay up for hours each night before I went to bed closing my eyes and imagining what he looked like. When I couldn't remember I would freak out and try again and again until I did. Definately not a normal response to a crush. If David Peterson only knew the extent he would have ran in the other direction I would also become obsessed with crushes taking it way to far. I would not be able to get them out of my head. I couldn't focus in school and became completely consumed with thoughts of them. Most of the time they didn't even know who I was. I admired from a distance. At the time I didn't realize it was the ocd but now looking back it is obvious. You're not alone