The weather or how beautiful it is outside has little effect on my mood :/ I do feel vulnerable outside of my home..stick me inside a room wthout windows..very low lighting and I'm sort of content but at the same time I yearn for the beauty of the outside world. Kinda like a bird that can't fly? Don't know howti describe it..I feel safe locked up in solitude but at the same time I'm not truly free and it's killing me. :/
It's sunny over here... the day turned nice after a big storm, yet I could care less if I die right now. It doesn't really matter if it's a beautiful day if I can't enjoy it due to feeling like crap all the time.
Honestly, I can't do that, I have no capability or motivation, I want to be possitive but I can't. Maybe that means I gave up? If not, I'm really close to giving up... seriously.
Ha! Try it and see what happens. I swear I'll blacken the sky with darkness myself just to prove you wrong. No but really, such optimism is beyond me. Perhaps you have the gift of happiness, but I do not.