Social skills. Boo!

April72

Well-known member
#1
I know we are not a brunch virtues in the social field but I think it would be worthy to mention what are these skills that you have learnt or have developed in a natural way and that help you in your social interactions.

I'm good as hell listening to people, looking at them in the eyes and asking questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves.
I also try to put a smile to anyone, even when the most I feel like to do is crying.
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
#2
Back in the 1980s, and early 90s, I asked each therapist I had -- and I had a series of them -- to teach me social skills. They would always brush off the request as though it were inappropriate. Although they did not always give a clear explanation as to why it was inappropriate to ask for social skills training, one of them did say to me that my problem is depression and depression is a non-social condition. Looking back, I wish that someone would have honored my request.
 
#3
I know we are not a brunch virtues in the social field but I think it would be worthy to mention what are these skills that you have learnt or have developed in a natural way and that help you in your social interactions.

I'm good as hell listening to people, looking at them in the eyes and asking questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves.
I also try to put a smile to anyone, even when the most I feel like to do is crying.
One thing I do is talk to people as if I were talking to a best friend. It sounds weird but if you look at someone as a close friend, even if they're not, you feel more comfortable talking to them and being honest. The idea is not so much to think of them as your best friend, but to be more like "if this person were my best friend, how I would I talk to then?"
It seems to make it easier to talk to people, and it makes you look more friendly and approachable
 

April72

Well-known member
#4
Back in the 1980s, and early 90s, I asked each therapist I had -- and I had a series of them -- to teach me social skills. They would always brush off the request as though it were inappropriate. Although they did not always give a clear explanation as to why it was inappropriate to ask for social skills training, one of them did say to me that my problem is depression and depression is a non-social condition. Looking back, I wish that someone would have honored my request.
Social skills can be learnt. It's only a question of taking advantages of your valúes. Your therapists were wrong or didn't know how to explain it to you.

I know AvPD is also treated with group therapy where the patients approach to any kind of social interactions and learn how to deal with them properly.

Anyway, think about what I have told you (taking advantage of your valúes).
 

April72

Well-known member
#5
One thing I do is talk to people as if I were talking to a best friend. It sounds weird but if you look at someone as a close friend, even if they're not, you feel more comfortable talking to them and being honest. The idea is not so much to think of them as your best friend, but to be more like "if this person were my best friend, how I would I talk to then?"
It seems to make it easier to talk to people, and it makes you look more friendly and approachable
What you do it's marvellous. I remember my therapist told me that I have to let myself be concerned in people. I was so stuck that I saw everyone as a potential enemy, when there aren't.
 

April72

Well-known member
#7
Come on! We are not completely *******s in social relations.
I'm friendly and I don't mind to care of people. I'm not a gregarious but if it's necessary to give someone a hand, I do it.
I also like to take into account of other people opinions so I usually learn a lot about them.
 

Livemylife

Well-known member
#8
I've been practicing my smile. I try to greet cashiers, secretaries, etc with a smile. It's a fake smile where I pull the corners of my mouth apart. I'm getting better at remembering to do this. I also pretend to make eye contact by looking at the bridge of their nose. I always try to respond to people's comments with "yeah" even if I have no clue what they they're talking about.
If it were up to me, I'd just avoid people. But they won't leave me alone and tell me things like "you look sad" and other dumb shit.
 

greggy

Well-known member
#9
Lol like the title! Social skills boo!! Ive noticed that the way you approch people has everything to do with the way they are with you mostly, when im nervious i get a strange reception however when im relaxed and dont care about anything people are very relaxed with me also. So its good to chill all tge time
 
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