Social Phobia and Anorexia

[Prestonator]

Hi

Just joined this today to see if i could try to get other people's opinions and idea's on my situation. I have been suffering from having a fear of eating in public spaces for quite a while now, maybe for about 4 or 5 years, for a while it did go away and i started to improve, but now things seem to be getting worse again. I don't usually like the idea of eating in public spaces for the fear of being sick, feeling sick, not feeling hungry and the people i'm with thinking im stupid or anorexic for not wanting to eat (i am quite a skinny person), or the fear of having an anxiety attack. Not only this but i get anxious about these fears, so its like being anxious for being anxious if that makes sense. I really hate feeling like this because it is starting to stop me from wanting to go out for meals with my friends, family and even my boyfriend. These are the people i should feel the most comfortable eating around, and yet i still manage to get really anxious about these situations. I feel really bad that i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 months and have not once been for a meal with him. This is just another example of where my anxiety dominates my life. I really hate it. I almost dread these situations and try to find ways of getting out of them just so to avoid being anxious. When i get anxious i feel like i can't eat anything, and now since i am becoming more and more anxious about situations i am worried i will become anorexic. Now i think i am probably on the verge of being an anorexic. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life, i don't want this to dominate what i do in life, because i know that it shouldn't. I just don't really know what to do to try to get over this anxiety - it has been with me for so long that i find it hard to get over it. Does anyone else feel like they are in the same situation as me? At the moment i feel like i am the only one in the world who feels this way :/

I really need some advice....

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Welcome to the forum.

A fear of eating in public is pretty common to various degrees with social phobia. It isn't one of my worst problems, but I've seen plenty of people here talk about it. You did not mention what you've tried so far--have you consulted a professional?

 

[MichKat0]

This I can actually relate to and welcome aboard, I'm also a fellow newbie.

I have a girlfriend who has suffered anorexia in the past and as far as I know, she also has some problem facing the crowds but also she is an autistic indiviual like I.

But I would imagine her case could be worse as she worries about food and calories she intakes each day, she used to count calories but thank god that she cut the habbit of it.

She used to have the habbit of making herself sick to reach a target weight to the point where she would end up suffering, her health was also in so much risk and so on.

She worries about how people would think of her and she worries about people calling her names behind her back etc.

I just generally don't like being in a crowded place in any case.

I don't really know what to advice but you can however find a way to distract yourself from these thoughts and I'm also here on these kind of forums for these kind of answers in any case.

Enjoy.


- MichKat0.

 

[Scooter]

Hi Prestonator and welcome
Anxiety over eating in front of others is a common trait in SP and wont necessarily take you down the anorexia road - that has a bundle of other stuff involved.

 

[kihira]

Eating/drinking in front of others was my main phobia (because of hands shaking) and it dominated my life for many years, making me fearful of events months in the future and causing panic attacks. The anticipation of having to eat with others would produced as much anxiety as sitting down with others at a table. I'm thankfully mostly over this now. I would suggest talking to your doctor about this and discussing options for therapy.

 

[Falkor]

Hi Prestonator, welcome here

I can relate to your story a lot, because I avoid eating in public spaces too,
I feel sick of the thought eating a hamburger in front of people for example, I'd rather sit outside,
take the food to a place where I can eat without people.
I just feel awkward while eating, because of my anxiety, I start to act all nervous and like I'm really anxious, this makes me eat like an idiot, sounds weird probably :: but this is a fact for me. I used to be on verge of anorexia as well, I was 47 Kilogram in the past (i was 15 yrs old )I needed to go to the doctor, almost had to go to the hospital for feeding tubes. But I got a diet, so I could gain weight.
Now I'm still too thin, but I'm not as skinny as I was, people used to call me ''Miss Bones'' because I was ... ehm.. too much details, But anyways, I have a question, do you really wanna be skinny, like too thin, because you find it important to not be fat, and count calories and such? Or do you just feel extremely awkard around people because of people checking you out when you are trying to eat? This is both which can include anorexia, but the point is, if you don't have an anorexic lifestyle, about counting calories and you know what they do, it's easier to get out of this, because you are not afraid to gain weight, but some people are against fat, but having a little bit more fat, looks healthy, and not ugly at all, it's normal, when people see a very thin person on the street, they would check ya out, not when you look just average figure, but I know when you really want to be skinny and all, it's a hard fight, I never really wanted this far, I only wanted to not eat around people because I felt sick of anxiety, and sometimes I throw up because it calms me down when I have an anxiety attack, but NEVER to lose weight, for example I love to eat snacks, crisps, candies, chocolate, but I need to eat more, like eat more at dinner, because I stop eating too fast, this is a habit.

Hey, I hope you'll have a good time on SPW, and you are not alone

Greetings.

 

[Prestonator]

I am currently undergoeing therapy phocas and also having regular check-ups with my doctor.

And Saskia, i would also be alright eating in a restaurant if I could sit outside, i'm not sure why this makes me feel better but it just does! I am also too skinny but have improved and put on weight like you. Now i don't have anyone whispering 'anorexic' behind my back, i still worry people think this though. I am not however wanting to be thin because i think i am fat, i just sometimes find it hard to eat because of my anxiety if that makes sense? I feel like you are explaining exactly how I feel with my anxiety, i have been sick before just to calm me down too. I am glad i know there are people out there like me. Thanks for your post Saskia

 

[R3K]

as far as your eating problem, i'm exactly the opposite so i can't really relate to you there... but i can relate to your anxiety and i can kinda see how you're afraid to eat in public. I actually like eating in public and gorging myself on hawaiian bbq steak, even though i'm undergoing a lot of dental procedures which makes chewing a painstaking and potentially anxiety-inducing activity. but i still go out, and it's usually the highlight of my day to stuff my face for hours on end.

now to your issue, i think you should continue working with your therapist and maybe try to examine what triggered your problems 4-5 years ago. combat the source of things. it could have been eating in public nervousness, driving phobia, jogging phobia, any kind of phobia could have sprouted from whatever initially traumatized you down this path.

 

[Prestonator]

I wish i liked eating in public!! That is something i hope i can achieve by overcoming my anxiety though. There are lots of things that trigger off my anxiety i dont know if you find that? And also when i know that this particular activity is coming up in like a week or so i often find myself being anxious until it has happened!

My therapist thinks the source of my problem was situations that occurred early on in my life. Coming to university has helped me a great deal i think because i was able to get away from the life i lead at home, the nervous anxious wreck i was practically every day. But recently i have been feeling a lot more anxious and i think this was ever since i went home for christmas because i just went back to being the way i was. I just try to go home as little as possible.

 

[R3K]

Coming to university has helped me a great deal i think because i was able to get away from the life i lead at home, the nervous anxious wreck i was practically every day.

haha that's funny, again it was the opposite for me. college/university damn near killed me with the anxiety. i would actually skip class and go to restaraunts and hog out for about 3 hours or watch movies at the theater. amazingly, i'm not overweight and according to those weight/age/height meters i'm borderline underweight. needless to say, i dropped out.

i been trying to examine my life, childhood and early adulthood to see what the root of my SA was/is... but it's difficult looking for it when you have it and you're suffering from it: i dont' know if that makes sense at all. when i saw a psychiatrist ages ago, he said making lists and stuff was a good idea, so i've been kinda doing that, and writing journal entries once or twice a week. helps you kinda look at things with a clean perspective.

edit: have you tried going out to those mellow asian restaraunts with your b/f or friends? with the humble little hostesses in their kimonos and the dim rice paper lanterns all over? maybe a relaxed eating environment is what you need.

 

[dean01]

i think that we all have a problem eating in front of people, resturants and so on but eating disorders are very serious and not to be confused with anxiey. are you over excercising, making yourself sick or binge eating? maybe its worth reading up on the subject to put things into perspective.... try reading wasted by marya hornbacher. all the best.

 

[Prestonator]

R3K: I haven't tried the more relaxing places actually, the thought of eating in a restaurant just scares me. But I should maybe give it a try. Eating in a cafe is okay though for some reason. Its the whole sit down, bit meal thing I don't like.

Dean: Well I don't actually do all that much exercise at all, and no I definitely do not binge eat then make myself sick. I don't have an anorexic mentality, i don't think i am fat, i actually want to put on weight to make myself more healthy. I just find it hard to because eating is something I find hard when I feel anxious. That book sounds good, I might just give it a read.