social anxiety isn't real
- Thread starter Infected_Malignity
- Start date
Diluted_Acid
Well-known member
Didn't bother read article. But i i liked reading the title of this thread. Hope its for real.
blonderedhead
Well-known member
"If you were looking at me now, you’d probably be thinking, “He’s not bad looking, but he’s certainly no Tom Cruise.” WTF LOL! j/k but seriously I did find this a bit motivating. Thanks Infected.
SilentType
Banned
Social anxiety is as real as any other anxiety disorder. Anxiety is caused by environmental as well as genetic factors. Any motivational mumbo jumbo is simply trying to get people with it to overcome it. If they're trying to get people to overcome it, then how can it possibly not be real?
However, I do find the best therapy is just self acceptance when you've got a physical problem like I do (panic disorder) where panic attacks occur in certain places as well as just out of the blue. I've found if I can just be happy with the hand I've been dealt, and focus on the strength it brings to my personality rather than the weakness, then my anxiety during those certain predictable social situation isn't nearly as bad.
Just my take on the whole thing...
Peace
However, I do find the best therapy is just self acceptance when you've got a physical problem like I do (panic disorder) where panic attacks occur in certain places as well as just out of the blue. I've found if I can just be happy with the hand I've been dealt, and focus on the strength it brings to my personality rather than the weakness, then my anxiety during those certain predictable social situation isn't nearly as bad.
Just my take on the whole thing...
Peace
Ursula
Active member
I read the motivational article and found it unbelievably patronising. I cringed when I saw that diagram reducing the problem to a circle representing the 'comfort zone' and two crosses representing 'terrified' and 'slightly afraid'. I didn't appreciate the way 'comfort zone' was put in italics as if it was a new and difficult term that we might find it a little hard to get to grips with. The bit about developing your 'courage muscle' was beyond parody- the human mind is a bit more complex and mysterious than a 'muscle' or a circle and a cross and this man seems to only actually have one idea- make yourself do things you're scared of and you wont be scared anymore. This may be true with some fears and some situations but it's a bit inadequate as a catch-all remedy for something as complex as social phobia. It also lays the blame entirely on the shoulders of the social anxiety sufferer- it's all your fault because you're not trying hard enough. It made me a bit irritated because I struggle every day with things that scare me but most of the time this doesn't bring about any miraculous improvement in my condition.
My Dad's best friend was a social phobic who pushed himself incredibly hard in a medical career, facing his worst fears every day but he just couldn't handle it and ended up killing himself. There is so much more to the whole question of how to get over s.p. than the facile, patronising arguments of this absurd article!!!! Sorry, I am having a bit of a bad day so had to 'let rip'.
My Dad's best friend was a social phobic who pushed himself incredibly hard in a medical career, facing his worst fears every day but he just couldn't handle it and ended up killing himself. There is so much more to the whole question of how to get over s.p. than the facile, patronising arguments of this absurd article!!!! Sorry, I am having a bit of a bad day so had to 'let rip'.
cosmosis
Well-known member
Yeah, haha, the article sounds like a load of crap from someone who has never exprienced persistant high anxiety.
Oh yeah...just force yourself to confront your fears. As if its simply a matter of willpower. Yeah right..with true social anxiety...I think generally the more willpower you have..the more you try to confront it, the worse your anxiety ultimately becomes.
Oh yeah...just force yourself to confront your fears. As if its simply a matter of willpower. Yeah right..with true social anxiety...I think generally the more willpower you have..the more you try to confront it, the worse your anxiety ultimately becomes.
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Argamemnon
Well-known member
I can only speak for myself, but my social anxiety is very real. Resisting is futile when I feel anxious, which is always the case when I'm around people. The feelings are so incredibly painful that socializing, making friends and forming romantic relationships are absolutely out of the question.
I don't think that the majority of people who have social anxiety are suffering as much, because that would mean that they too wouldn't be able to establish romantic relationships and friendships. It would mean that they too would live a very lonely (and frankly worthless) life. So, when someone tells me that he/she is "suffering" from social anxiety, and yet is in a relationship and has friends, I simply cannot understand. It baffles me and I start wondering whether I'm suffering from something much worse than social anxiety.
I don't think that the majority of people who have social anxiety are suffering as much, because that would mean that they too wouldn't be able to establish romantic relationships and friendships. It would mean that they too would live a very lonely (and frankly worthless) life. So, when someone tells me that he/she is "suffering" from social anxiety, and yet is in a relationship and has friends, I simply cannot understand. It baffles me and I start wondering whether I'm suffering from something much worse than social anxiety.
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Hellhound
Super Moderator
If it isn't real, then why are we here talking about it? Why are some people taking medications or going to therapy? Why are so many people feeling so bad and misunderstood? If it isn't real then why are we where we are now instead of doing what we WANT but CAN'T do?. That article minimizes our feelings... that and hearing "Oh pfft... everyone is nervous at first" or "There's nothing wrong with you" or "just get over it" is the same. I understand the point, but there's times in where it is not possible to face your fears, it's not that simple. We are speaking about mental illnesses, not just shyness.
philly2bits
Well-known member
SA is very real. Some people may have different levels of anxiety that can come on during different circumstances. Some people may be able to push there way thru at sometimes and not others.
PisceanWisdom
Active member
I don't think social anxiety is real.
These categories were made up by psychologists, to try to better understand the mind. Just like the zodiac was made up by whoever made it up, to try to understand peoples' minds and how they work (as well as other things). Some people subscribe to the zodiac. They really feel as though they exhibit the characteristics of their sign, and they even have whole forums talking about the zodiac. Just like SA people. (Obviously, the zodiac is trying to understand a fictional universe, whereas psychology is trying to understand reality.)
But the mind is not as categorized as the DSM-IV-TR. The very fact that a disorder is not considered a disorder unless it effects your quality of life. Anyway, I think that thinking that you have Social Anxiety Disorder, that it's a glitch in your brain, that nobody else has it or can understand it, contributes to your experience of SAD.
Accept that everyone has these feelings, even though you might not know it. Treat yourself like a normal person, and realize that you are worth being respected. It all comes down to: Just do it. Ignore your social anxiety, and it will stop bothering you. It worked for me, to a point.
Of course, talking about things with like-minded people is also beneficial. Which is why it's nice to have these made-up psychological categories. (I do like psychology, and think it's useful, it's just not an exact science.) It's nice to have this forum, and it's nice to vent. It's a huge boost to know that there are people out in the world that have the same problems.
But really, it's not as if your mother checked a box when you were born "() Give me a baby with Social Anxiety Disorder SAD" It's only as real as you make it.
These categories were made up by psychologists, to try to better understand the mind. Just like the zodiac was made up by whoever made it up, to try to understand peoples' minds and how they work (as well as other things). Some people subscribe to the zodiac. They really feel as though they exhibit the characteristics of their sign, and they even have whole forums talking about the zodiac. Just like SA people. (Obviously, the zodiac is trying to understand a fictional universe, whereas psychology is trying to understand reality.)
But the mind is not as categorized as the DSM-IV-TR. The very fact that a disorder is not considered a disorder unless it effects your quality of life. Anyway, I think that thinking that you have Social Anxiety Disorder, that it's a glitch in your brain, that nobody else has it or can understand it, contributes to your experience of SAD.
Accept that everyone has these feelings, even though you might not know it. Treat yourself like a normal person, and realize that you are worth being respected. It all comes down to: Just do it. Ignore your social anxiety, and it will stop bothering you. It worked for me, to a point.
Of course, talking about things with like-minded people is also beneficial. Which is why it's nice to have these made-up psychological categories. (I do like psychology, and think it's useful, it's just not an exact science.) It's nice to have this forum, and it's nice to vent. It's a huge boost to know that there are people out in the world that have the same problems.
But really, it's not as if your mother checked a box when you were born "() Give me a baby with Social Anxiety Disorder SAD" It's only as real as you make it.