sahxox
Well-known member
Think I may be onto something here
Always felt different to most people... those who just pull up this enthusiasm in everyday conversation about absolutely nothing. Eager to join in, but timid thoughtful words are often over-ridden by loud expressive and mostly insignificant ones.
Man does it take effort sometimes to be bothered talking... lol mainly if tired or meeting an acquantance randomly
Then the anxiety develops... thinking I can't even handle conversation with people I don't know very well, scared because I can't connect and I'll only embarass myself.
Now I've taken a step back and realised I really have no desire to connect in that way... which by chance is how most people get to know eachother.
Even with people closest with me (eg extended family I've known forever) alot talk so much shit and I just sit there trying not to shoot them down, much less roll my eyes. Nothing against extroverts but geez alot of the time the conversation is downright sad... mostly gossip and stupid tales about miniscule first world problems whose trivial nature I'd be too ashamed to even think of sharing.
It's caused low-self-esteem, which in turn conjures social anxiety and even crippling depression at the worst times.
Hmm it's all making sense now. Wondering if anyone else has a similar experience?
p.s. very tired hoping it makes sense
Always felt different to most people... those who just pull up this enthusiasm in everyday conversation about absolutely nothing. Eager to join in, but timid thoughtful words are often over-ridden by loud expressive and mostly insignificant ones.
Man does it take effort sometimes to be bothered talking... lol mainly if tired or meeting an acquantance randomly
Then the anxiety develops... thinking I can't even handle conversation with people I don't know very well, scared because I can't connect and I'll only embarass myself.
Now I've taken a step back and realised I really have no desire to connect in that way... which by chance is how most people get to know eachother.
Even with people closest with me (eg extended family I've known forever) alot talk so much shit and I just sit there trying not to shoot them down, much less roll my eyes. Nothing against extroverts but geez alot of the time the conversation is downright sad... mostly gossip and stupid tales about miniscule first world problems whose trivial nature I'd be too ashamed to even think of sharing.
It's caused low-self-esteem, which in turn conjures social anxiety and even crippling depression at the worst times.
Hmm it's all making sense now. Wondering if anyone else has a similar experience?
p.s. very tired hoping it makes sense