So I have a doctor's appointment coming up...

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
:confused:

I recently made an appointment for a physical. It's been two years and I've been putting it off because I'm a procrastinator and that's what I do.:rolleyes: But I got a medical form in the mail for my driver's license that I need a doctor to fill out by the end of the year so it couldn't wait any longer.

I really should bring up depression and anxiety but I'm dreading that and I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I considered it the last time I went but decided not to. At that time I had figured out I was depressed but didn't really know much about the anxiety yet. I didn't want help at that point. I kind of do now, but not entirely. I mostly want help with depression. I'm just so sick of having no energy and no motivation to do anything. I get sad off and on and it's kinda random sometimes. I just sit around and mope. But then sometimes I'm fine. I don't even mind the sadness so much. It's the lack of energy that's getting to me. I can't get anything done and then I feel guilty for being so damn unproductive. I just feel useless and I can't move forward in life.

I don't even think I want to mention the possibility of social anxiety or OCD or personality disorders at all. But anxiety symptoms can be part of depression, even without a full blown anxiety disorder. I get anxious at random sometimes. Some days I just feel on edge and like I'm nervous about nothing. Sometimes I get body spasms which tend to be triggered by stress or intrusive thoughts.

I'm just afraid of what's going to happen if I bring this up. I think an antidepressant is worth a try, although I'm a little weary of side effects. Mainly, I'm afraid of gaining weight. What I don't want is to be sent to any psychiatrist or therapist or whatever. It might be a good idea in the future but right now I'm just not ready for that. There's no way of going and keeping it a secret. Even if I do just get an antidepressant, that could still be tricky to keep quiet about. I don't want to tell my family. My mom is on paxil for anxiety right now and even that doesn't make it any easier. I just don't want to tell anybody. I like a lot of privacy. I don't want to talk about emotions. I don't want people knowing I feel sad and worthless. I'd rather people just think I'm fine, even if it isn't true. The thing is, my mom has different anxiety problems than me. She's a worrywart. She's always worrying and stressing about something. I think if I say anything, then she'll want to know more than I'm willing to talk about, which is not much. And then she'll just overreact and worry even more. I also worry that if I say anything at all, I'll regret it.

I'm not even sure if this is clinical depression. It might just be dysthymia. I've felt mildly depressed ever since I was a kid. I'm not sure that's worth suggesting. I don't know if that's something most family doctors would know anything about. But then, does it even matter? I still feel depressed, no matter what you want to call it. I'm not so sure it's a good idea to talk about certain issues without telling the whole story but I'm really not prepared to dive into treatment for everything. I almost don't want to say anything but then how could I not? Everything effects everything else. It's not just the comorbidity of mental disorders. It's effecting other health issues too.

I'm diabetic and I've been having a hard time keeping my blood sugars stable for awhile now. It's never gonna get better on its own. I'm not motivated enough to count carbs as closely as I should. Sometimes I overeat cause I'm depressed. Also anxiety in itself can mess with blood sugars. Then the wonky sugar levels make me feel even more like crap, so it's lose-lose and I get caught in a vicious cycle. I've read that diabetics have a higher risk of developing anxiety and depression than the general public. Doesn't surprise me at all.

I've always had bad skin and I kinda think I have eczema or something. My face gets red and splotchy and itchy sometimes. But since I'm a hoarder and too depressed to clean my room, it's probably due the fact I don't change my sheets often enough. Some nights I'm too tired and too lazy to wash my face before bed. I feel like I almost shouldn't ask for help with that when it's kind of my fault and caused by another problem. But then maybe I'd just have the same problems anyway. I don't know.

I worry that as soon as I mention depression she'll ask if I'm suicidal. I'm really not but I guess that's not entirely true. I don't actually want to kill myself but I find things like "kill me" just run through my head anyway sometimes. I don't actually mean it. It's like some sort of intrusive thoughts. It's not intentional. I'm not an impulsive person and I don't feel like I'm actually in any danger. Life sucks sometimes, but it isn't that bad. So what, do I lie and say no? Or do I try and explain and risk it being blown out of proportion and taken out of context? I don't want anyone to overreact and worry because there really is nothing to worry about.

Another thing I wonder about is what will happen if I go on meds now, but decide to see a therapist down the road. If I ever want a concrete diagnosis that may be harder to get if symptoms are masked by medication. But that's thinking ahead too much.

I think all I really want is to feel a little better. I don't want to be "normal." I don't want to be happy. It wouldn't be right for me to not be dissatisfied with my life the way it is right now. But I doubt I'll ever get my life on track if I don't get help at all. I dunno, part of me still doesn't want to. I've always been the kind of person who doesn't like help with much of anything so that makes it even harder. I'm kinda torn here. I've got another two weeks to think about what I'm gonna say. I might just chicken out altogether. I'll probably still be fretting over it the night before. I get nervous with doctors as it is. This is only gonna make things worse. I wish I was able to go to the doctor without anyone questioning why, or even knowing I'm going. But that won't happen until I have a 9-5 job. And that won't happen if I stay stuck in this rut of depression. If I had some sort of reassurance that I could get help from my doctor without anyone ever having to find out it wouldn't be so bad, but I might not be that lucky and this could all fall apart.:confused:
 

to·ma·to

Active member
I had one idea. Have you considered printing out what you wrote here and handing it to the doctor? It's, seemingly, very well explained, very well thought out.
 
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awkwardamanda

Well-known member
I had one idea. Have you considered printing out what you wrote here and handing it to the doctor? It's, seemingly, very well explained, very well thought out.
I actually hadn't considered that. The problem is figuring out what to say and what not to say. Trouble is, if I do that, I think I've said too much.:confused: Although there are probably things I should say more about too. Hmm. Thanks though.
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
Hey Amanda, Maybe try a therapist first I think. That's what I would do. I would go there for Neurofeedback and get therapy. I don't go as often as I used to, I've gotten better with things. I made all my production without the use of drugs. Plus if you look in social anxiety friends.com there are ads for homeopathic drugs without all the side effects , the weight gain. One thing will lead to another. I dont think you should use meds. And you said you think already have diabetes. They contribute to it.

Steve
 

glesga24

Member
I have had social phobia since I was a kid(I am 31 now) throughout my life I constantly visited the doctor and never mentioned anything. In fact I never mentioned anything to anyone I spent my whole entire life avoiding anything social that was out of my control, which was just about everything.

Last year I went to the doctors, for a total unrelated condition, and I told him. I started shaking when I told him, my face went red, I started sweating and I felt emotional then and for a few hours afterwards.

I felt ashamed at my condition, but also relief that I had finally told someone. The doctor explained to me that it was the most common phobia in society today completely underrated-not helped by the fact that most sufferers never seek help.

I think your condition is slightly different from mine- but total lack of motivation I think is something that you shouldn't be ashamed of, as it isn't just laziness(although it feels like that sometimes) its part of your condition.

What I am trying to say is that getting help will be the start of the best thing to happen to you. I agree with to.ma.to's idea that you should print out what you have written here. You will find the doctor more understanding and easier to talk to than you think.

All the best mate and I hope you have the confidence to tell the doctor
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Amanda, you have basically put my life in text-form.

I get sad off and on and it's kinda random sometimes. I just sit around and mope. But then sometimes I'm fine. I don't even mind the sadness so much. It's the lack of energy that's getting to me. I can't get anything done and then I feel guilty for being so damn unproductive. I just feel useless and I can't move forward in life.
This is a similar thing to what I get. It's an unfortunate thing.

I think an antidepressant is worth a try, although I'm a little weary of side effects. Mainly, I'm afraid of gaining weight.
Medication does have side-effects, so it's best to ask the doctor what will happen.

What I don't want is to be sent to any psychiatrist or therapist or whatever. It might be a good idea in the future but right now I'm just not ready for that.
If you're not ready, don't go. You will be wasting your time because you won't want it to work. Only when you're ready for it, you should then make the decision to go.

I worry that as soon as I mention depression she'll ask if I'm suicidal. I'm really not but I guess that's not entirely true. I don't actually want to kill myself but I find things like "kill me" just run through my head anyway sometimes. I don't actually mean it. It's like some sort of intrusive thoughts. It's not intentional.
I have the same thoughts of suicide but that's just how it is. Probably a symptom of depression.

In my (very limited) experience, the doctor will not ask you if you're suicidal. They may ask if you want to see a therapist, to which you say no and ask for an anti-depressant. They will also ask some personal questions (not too intrusive) just to quickly assess you. You're asking for meds so you might have a more in-depth analysis.

Good luck with everything, Amanda. Let us know how it goes. I hope I helped.
 

Moa

Well-known member
FWIW, when I told my doctor about my anxiety issues, she just acted like I had a common cold and prescribed my medication. It seemed so routine for her. Some people might have been unhappy that she didn't seem to care much, but I was glad she didn't ask me a million questions. I think to her it was like, "ok, you have a problem, here is the solution, have a nice day".

Me, my sister, and my boyfriend are all on anti-depressants. None of us have gained weight, or experienced any negative side effects. In fact, I think we've all lost weight because it helped us put an end to our emotional eating.

Hope that helps.
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
Amanda, you have basically put my life in text-form.
This has happened in a few threads, hasn't it?:rolleyes:

MikeyC said:
If you're not ready, don't go. You will be wasting your time because you won't want it to work. Only when you're ready for it, you should then make the decision to go.
Thanks. I know it won't work right now. I'm not motivated enough to really want to change. As I said, I just want to feel a little better. I don't want complete change. I've definitely thought about it though. I think it might be nice to eventually find a therapist/psychologist/whatever just to talk. Someone to vent to. Someone who can confirm a diagnosis. I suspect a few things, but maybe things aren't as bad as they seem, or maybe there's something I haven't considered. But I'm just not ready to commit to therapy. I think being able to talk to someone knowledgeable, and just sort through some things could be helpful, but I'm not interested in CBT or anything like that. Then there's the issue of finding the right therapist. I could see myself getting frustrated easily with the wrong person and then not looking for someone else. But that's just something to think about for the future.

MikeyC said:
I have the same thoughts of suicide but that's just how it is. Probably a symptom of depression.

In my (very limited) experience, the doctor will not ask you if you're suicidal. They may ask if you want to see a therapist, to which you say no and ask for an anti-depressant. They will also ask some personal questions (not too intrusive) just to quickly assess you. You're asking for meds so you might have a more in-depth analysis.

Good luck with everything, Amanda. Let us know how it goes. I hope I helped.
Intrusive thoughts are common anxiety symptom too. Could be a combination of factors. I don't intend to flat out ask for medication. I think I'll let her suggest it.


FWIW, when I told my doctor about my anxiety issues, she just acted like I had a common cold and prescribed my medication. It seemed so routine for her. Some people might have been unhappy that she didn't seem to care much, but I was glad she didn't ask me a million questions. I think to her it was like, "ok, you have a problem, here is the solution, have a nice day".
I think it is very commonplace. I know a lot family doctors may not be experts on other mental health problems, but they must get general complaints of anxiety and depression all the time. This is the second time my mom has gone on Paxil. It was rather awkward to hear this, but she was telling me about her conversation with the doctor (same doctor, btw). Apparently she said it's the world we live in. She has trouble with anxiety herself and her life is fine. I think it was something like 9 out of 10 of her patients are on something. o_0 She said "If I could just put that stuff in the water, this would be happier place." I just laughed. I thought that was hilarious. Although I thought about it later and realized that would make some people manic. O_O

Moa said:
Me, my sister, and my boyfriend are all on anti-depressants. None of us have gained weight, or experienced any negative side effects. In fact, I think we've all lost weight because it helped us put an end to our emotional eating.

Hope that helps.
It's encouraging that at least some people don't have side effects. I read some stuff on a few SSRIs a little while back and it seems Paxil is one of the drugs that can cause a bit of weight gain, but Zoloft and Prozac don't. Good to know. I thought of asking if omega-3s would help at all. Not necessarily in place of any meds, though. Could help my skin too. I've heard they can help, I just don't know how much. It could be minor. Trouble is, those pills are so damn big and they're gel so you can't crush them. I used to take a low dose in a chewable form but those were discontinued. I tried one pill and it was painful to swallow so forget it.
 

Moa

Well-known member
It's encouraging that at least some people don't have side effects. I read some stuff on a few SSRIs a little while back and it seems Paxil is one of the drugs that can cause a bit of weight gain, but Zoloft and Prozac don't. Good to know. I thought of asking if omega-3s would help at all. Not necessarily in place of any meds, though. Could help my skin too. I've heard they can help, I just don't know how much. It could be minor. Trouble is, those pills are so damn big and they're gel so you can't crush them. I used to take a low dose in a chewable form but those were discontinued. I tried one pill and it was painful to swallow so forget it.
My sister and I both take Zoloft, and my boyfriend takes Wellbutrin. I take omega-3's every day too, because they have so many health benefits. I can't say they've helped my anxiety/depression issues though. If you can't swallow big pills, you can always take fish oil in liquid form (that's the primary source of omega-3). It sounds gross but you can buy different flavors, like lemon or cherry.
 

Insanewoman389

Well-known member
"I get sad off and on and it's kinda random sometimes. I just sit around and mope. But then sometimes I'm fine. I don't even mind the sadness so much. It's the lack of energy that's getting to me. I can't get anything done and then I feel guilty for being so damn unproductive. I just feel useless and I can't move forward in life."

This is how I am and I hate it! Its a vicious cycle that I wish I could quit :/ I know how you feel about going to the doctor I'm the same way, I hope it goes ok and just remember once you get it done you'll have your drivers license :D
 
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