Small talk

[soared]

I know it's a part of life, and I know it's great to get to know people.

But I feel like an utter jerk whenever I engage in it, because I have so much trouble thinking of things to talk about, it feels unnatural and phony.

Anyone else have this problem? Any surefire topics to talk about (other than the weather)? Any other advice? ::

 

[EasySkanking]

Yessurr . I guess you could say that I hate small talk... I almost fall asleep hearing ppl talk about random athletes, random events, trivia etc... But I know that it is something that I have to learn to bear if I want to improve my social skills... The thing is, I'm the type of person that likes to talk about meaningful things... things that have an impact on people or one's life... not just talk for the heck of it... know what I mean?

But smalltalk is important and everyone should learn to do it right

 

[coyote]

weather, sports, current events, tv shows, traffic, road construction, food, restaurants, pets

the topic isn't important, really - it's just an excuse for two humans to feel each other out in a culturally accepted manner

cats and dogs just sniff each other's butts

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Any surefire topics to talk about (other than the weather)? Any other advice? ::

A lot of it is context-dependent. If you're in school together, you can talk about how homework sucks or how lame the teachers are. If you work together (and are not in earshot of other employees) it's common to bitch about the boss. If you're at a club you talk about music, at a bar you can talk about beer and so on.

Since talk about football and other sports is so commonly popular I've actually known several people who followed sports to some extent purely to be able to make small talk with their coworkers, in spite of having no real interest in sports.

 

[coyote]

Since talk about football and other sports is so commonly popular I've actually known several people who followed sports to some extent purely to be able to make small talk with their coworkers, in spite of having no real interest in sports.

i contend that professional sports exists primarily for this reason

it gives people something to talk about, share, and bond over

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'll buy that for a dollar.

 

[coyote]

Brewers are beating Philadelphia 2-1 going into the bottom of the 4th

 

[Beatrice]

i contend that professional sports exists primarily for this reason

it gives people something to talk about, share, and bond over

Wow, never thought of that before.... Interesting. The more I think about it, the more I realize... you must be right.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

i contend that professional sports exists primarily for this reason

it gives people something to talk about, share, and bond over

This does little for my group...

A lot is as Nate said group/context dependent. Know your audience so to speak. However... even so... I find ppl talk quickly through small talk and I can get lost.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

It seems that in Colombia the only sport commented by 99% of people is football (soccer if you live in the only country in the world where football is played with the hands). And the level of profesional football here is so pathetic that I found very boring to talk about it.

I only can talk about racing with my brother and a friend I barely see.

When I talk with my friends of college we usually run out fast of small talk about studies and then we talk about life, the universe and everything.

But, small talk with an stranger? I'm pretty much screwed.

 

[Kiwong]

At work we have hours of fun with these small talk subjects.

1) weasel words (Touch base, ramp up, take it on board, underpin, hit the ground running).

2) sports players with funny names (Pale Ale, Maio Miao, Wiggily Dantas).

3) trying to name obscure 1980s pop groups (Visage, Waa Waa nee)

4) Laughing at silly government department names (Continuous Improvement Unit).

 

[popolala]

Shyness can cause 1 person to get nervous and blank because they not relax. But if someone is relaxed in a social situation, then its not your shyness thats causing you to be bad at small talk. its just you are bad at communicating, which we might not like to admit.

People like to blame shyness.. because it makes them feel better, but if you do that, you wont really find the real solution to the problem. Maybe its lack of communication skills, if you are truely not shy.

If you are shy, then its about relaxing. and not care if you look like a fool, and then small talk will feel easier, small talk is about talking about silly little things, that dont matter.

Being good at small talk if not related to shyness, would mean thinking quickly, being interested, branching off in the topic.

such as if someone mention i was at passing through this house and there was a lovely smell.

we can ask what it smelt like.

they tell you and then use that to branch off to something else, such as it smelt like chicken. etc...

im bad at small talk when im shy, but i can when im relaxed...im fine... i find help from this tip:

Think about what they're talking about. In that subject - you could of asked various things.
Who - Who was cooking?
What - What did it smell like?
Where - ...
When - What day?
Why -

follow 5 'w's to make small talk and try your best to relate to what they say.

 

[inspirer]

*deleted message

 

[Patrick26]

Small talk with a guy (even a random stranger) is easy....i was born and raised around guys my whole life....now girls? that's a whole other matter, sadly.

 

[Crumpal]

I enjoy small talk and socializing with people, but like most shy people, I have a hard time with it. Ive gotten better over the years mostly just from being forced to practice, but for shy people, its definitely a learned behavior. Usually I still think people are looking at me funny or think that I am weird/etc, its hard not to, its in my nature.. But - I try my best not to keep my irrational interpretations of other people's thoughts about me from preventing me from at least trying to be social..