Simply not caring for others

[gustavofring]

Does anyone else have this?

I often cannot be bothered with asking other people about their lives and interacting. It's like I already have a predestined path in my mind of how the conversation will go, you know, those silly forced talks about the weather and how are you, and I just can't be bothered to keep up those interactions with people that I don't really like/have much in common with anyway. Like roommates or colleagues.

It's not so much a phobia, more like a general apathy towards people I am casually acquainted with. I guess they find me stuck up, and as a result probably stopped taking interest in me as well, but I just really can't help it. I wish it wasn't so. Is it a result of depression? I used to be a lot more interested and animated in interactions with people but it's like I don't have energy for it anymore.

It's different with friends though, I am much more interested in them and their lives.

Edit:

I've googled this particular problem, and I came across "schizoid personality disorder". I was pretty scared to find many traits in there that I seem to have developped. Also because the name schizoid (schizophrenic?) itself sounds quite scary and serious.

But then again I don't know. I do have some friends. I have a girlfriend. It's hard with all these psychological labels.

 

[chickenmaryjane]

Possibly, apathy is one symptom of depression. I feel the same way you do. I guess we are too focus on our own problems which leaves no room to care about other people problems. Social anxiety, to me, is a selfish disorder. Not intentionally though, it's just that we're so mentally consumed on our outward behavior and appearance.

 

[Candide]

I have the same feeling, even the death or near death of family members seem to not really matter to me, but most of the time I really don't feel like talking to people about things of no importance especially gossip.

 

[gustavofring]

The worst thing about it, is that once the grapes have turned sour (by being quiet many times, you established yourself amongst people as being shy/stuck up/distant whatever) you can never fully recover or better yourself in their eyes. They remain judgemental and have a precomposed image of you. It's hard to turn your image around, and it becomes almost a selfulfilling prophecy.

I have the same feeling, even the death or near death of family members seem to not really matter to me, but most of the time I really don't feel like talking to people about things of no importance especially gossip.

I've delt with many deaths in my early life of very close family members. It has definately impacted me, maybe numbed me.

 

[gustavofring]

Possibly, apathy is one symptom of depression. I feel the same way you do. I guess we are too focus on our own problems which leaves no room to care about other people problems. Social anxiety, to me, is a selfish disorder. Not intentionally though, it's just that we're so mentally consumed on our outward behavior and appearance.

I agree somewhat. But you can also look at it another way. Aren't people who are very outgoing and attention giving and craving also selfish for wanting attention and popularity? You're right about the disproportionate focus on our outward behavior and appearance though.

 

[SilentBird]

I still care for others but I have become tired of others.

 

[Hoppy]

I feel it is about energy. Being social taps energy from me, and if I'm tired my focus move away from people, and I concentrate on myself only.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Well you care about your friends more, that to me is more important than people you talk to casually. I mean you can listen, talk, but you don't have to actually enjoy it. Everyone has something special to share but whatever a few special sharers is enough for me anyway

 

[TheBozz]

Are you looking for a solution for your social apathy? I dont see it. I am jaded though. I share the same... affliction? In my eyes, you have simply pulled the veil away from the meaningless interactions that involve most peoples day-to-day lives. You see and are not afraid to admit, at least to yourself, the triviality of insignificant social mores.

The problem with all of this social freedom, as you have already pointed out, is that it is usually from these seemingly pointless daily interactions that friendships and relationships evolve. You have poisoned the pool of future candidates with your apathy.

Solutions? You lie. You fake it. I have been told that if you fake it long enough, it becomes second nature. I have found this advice to be somewhat true. After all, it is the appearance of normality that is really important, right? God forbid people around you peg you as a loner or an outcast.

 

[twiggle]

I don't think this sounds particularly unusual, gustavofring. The subject title suggests you don't care about anyone but obviously you do care about people because you care about your friends and girlfriend.
When it comes to casual acquaintances... is it really that you don't care? Or that you just can't be bothered to have small-talk with them? Because as Hoppy says, that can be quite draining to do.

"How are you?"
"I'm fine. How are you?"
"I'm okay (actually, I'm not, but you're a casual acquaintance and we're merely in passing, I'm not going to to tell you about my problems)...On the other hand, at least it's nice and sunny"
"Oh yeah, so it is"
"Hehe"

Yet it might be different if said acquaintance was to suddenly approach you and want to start opening up about something away from the mundane?

TheBozz makes a great point though in that all friendships and relationships start as acquaintances. I think I had conversations like the ones above with all my close-friends when we first met. The more you get to know about people, the more there is to say to them.

 

[mikebird]

Awesome Post! ::

There's so much involved in caring, or not, because we have a planet full of people, and some of them group together.

Caring (+ve) presents a person's personal outlook... eg. nurse, doc, firefighter, police, lawyer, recruiter, armed forces hero, when in fact they want to live for themselves, and their own benefit, and not caring if the other person lives or dies, and use the simple portrayal to force things down people's throats, who will accept to do that, because the target sufferer regards the controller as special, important... a deity!

Presentation of themselves portrays this depending how the audience interprets this, and if they can see the actions underneath, they can see the -ve.

My personal outlook is portrayed simply as (-ve) just for the meaning of my humour. I don't like simpletons who live by the family values of kissing and hugging, which seems them to just be seen as an absolute hero. Whoah....!!

 

[Remus]

IRL I'm caring and show lots of empathy to people.

On-line I struggle with that as it's hard to make connections.

 

[Predacon]

I agree a little, but its more that I have enough of my own problems to worry about, hearing other peoples just makes me feel worse. It's like if I hear a depressing story on the news I'll change it over to something else.