Should I visit a hooker?

[Argamemnon]

Hey krs7snow, I understand. But at my age curiosity is killing me. It's far from natural to be a virgin at this age, and it can't be healthy either. I really don't want to sound like a sex maniac, but I'm just a poor human being like everyone else (unfortunately).

 

[NightTimeForever]

Arg, you should do what you are comfortable with.

 

[krs2snow]

Arg, you should do what you are comfortable with.

I totally agree. But, I think the problem is Argememnon isn't sure what he's comfortable with and that's why he's asking!

 

[theblank]

First, I'm sorry for being so blunt. As a 32 year old virgin, I don't want to lose my sanity. Should I just visit a hooker and get it over with? It's driving me nuts. It's very hard for me because of my SA, and also because I'm religious. But just once.. to preserve my sanity?

Don't worry about losing your virginity. It's not as big of a deal as you think. The first time I had sex was with my girlfriend in high school and it was a highly disappointing experience. Neither of us knew what we were doing, she said it hurt and after about 10 minutes we just stopped. I can't say that it was worth it, but I remember desperately wanting to do it because I was envious of all the other kids I knew who were doing it.

Fast forward to about 13 years later. I hadn't had any sort of sexual contact in years and decided to visit a prostitute. Not just any old prostitute, but a special one by the name of Vaniity. I hoped not only to have sex with her, but to end up becoming her boyfriend. Never happened. After we did what we did I gave her the money and felt horribly guilty. She told me she liked me and to come back in about an hour, but when I tried her lights were out and her boyfriend answered the door and told me to beat it. I ended up sleeping in my car and had horrible nightmares and literally felt I was being attacked by some kind of demons. It was just awful.

The following Sunday I went to church and felt like such a hypocrite (I was). I have strong spiritual beliefs and knew that what I did had violated my conscience. It was like there was a dark cloud over me and I felt far away from God. That was almost 9 years ago and I haven't been to a prostitute since. I have been tempted, but I haven't done it. I'm glad. So my advice to you is just to forget about it and think about other things.

 

[incomplete_person]

Just stand around at a bar until a girl approaches you. You can just keep ordering drinks or doing whatever you want in the meantime. Usually they just come up to you and go, "Hi, my name is mary." They are so drunk that they probably won't even remember it. There is usually 1 girl in most bars that will screw every older guy in the place. That stuff happens... unless you are looking to score a really hot woman, you can settle for something less and still have a good time. women are people too you know?

just make sure you use protection...
dont worry about what other people think. its your sex life not theirs or mine.

 

[Argamemnon]

Don't worry about losing your virginity. It's not as big of a deal as you think.

What do you mean? That sex is not enjoyable at all? Why do 'normal' people have sex, if it's nothing special?

 

[theblank]

Don't worry about losing your virginity. It's not as big of a deal as you think.

What do you mean? That sex is not enjoyable at all? Why do 'normal' people have sex, if it's nothing special?

Obviously sex is enjoyable if done properly. I'm just saying that it's not the be all and end all that you might think it will be...especially the first time. I suppose if you had a regular partner and got good at it would probably be a lot of fun, but when you're first starting out it's kind of awkward and embarrassing.

Just wait until you meet someone you care about.

 

[incomplete_person]

true... you wont enjoy sex as much as you would with someone you care about. i think maybe you should probably wait and meet someone.

it kind of sucks though if you ever break up with someone or someone breaks up with you. you get used to that persons touch for so long that you have to go back to having meaningless sex and its definitely not as good at all. its kinda boring.

you know the body is prettier with the clothes still on. that is burlesque i think. its the passion we have for that thing... not the thing itself.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

First, I'm sorry for being so blunt. As a 32 year old virgin, I don't want to lose my sanity. Should I just visit a hooker and get it over with? It's driving me nuts. It's very hard for me because of my SA, and also because I'm religious. But just once.. to preserve my sanity?

Well, I got so sexually frustrated at not having a girlfriend or a relationship that I took it into my own hands and visited a hooker. After that, I visited lots more hookers and I have to say that it has only been a positive thing for me and I've had some great fun in the process. So, I would say just go for it - but of course be careful.

 

[froghat]

I think I would just feel more depressed and more of an outcast if I did something like that, but that's just me. To be honest, at his point in my life, I just want someone to see my faults and accept me for who I am. I'm so sick of being all alone. It's no fun!

 

[thinarthur]

Speaking as someone who is
1) happily married
2) has never gone with a hooker
3) has no religious qualms about doing so
4) has heard plenty of horror stories about bad experiences with hookers

I would lean against visiting one.

The simple reason is that many of them are not very professional- they can be interested mostly in a quick turnover ( pardon the pun) and may not be sympathetic to someone who has difficulties. I have even heard of one guy who was ridiculed for having erection difficulties, and another for being slow to come. This could very easily turn into a very hurtful experience for someone with social difficulties.

Look around on line- there are plenty of contact services for casual sex- and you might be able to have a little online correspondance first to set up a happy experience. Casual sex has its place but it works much better when each party wants the same thing.

Back to the subject of hookers I do know that there are those who recognise that many of their clients are vulnerable and even specifically aim to look after such a clientele- but how you find the right one in your own neighbourhood is a tough ask.

 

[qwerty103_2]

Dude man, don't do it because you have to. Do it because you want to. You think you're ready for it?

I mean, who cares about being a virgin? If you're going to do it just so you can say to people that you're not a virgin anymore then it's just a terrible idea.

 

[Argamemnon]

I went today with a distant relative, but couldn't do it. We kept driving past the girls in his car. He told me not to be afraid, but I got an anxiety attack. There were a few extremely beautiful girls who were smiling, but I could not keep eye contact and didn't feel confident enough. I think I'll die as a virgin after all. I just can't help it, I have zero confidence.

 

[Argamemnon]

you know the body is prettier with the clothes still on.

What do you mean?

 

[Dave_McFadden]

OK, picture this scenario. You finally get up the nerve to go visit one of these places, and as soon as you walk in, suddenly a whole bunch of sirens and bells go off, and a banner drops from the ceiling saying "CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 1,000,000 TH CUSTOMER!" and suddenly, you're surrounded popping flash bulbs, and you're ushered to a podium with 20 TV cameras and 50 microphones! And then asked grueling questions about your sex life, personal life, etc. You end up on the evening news, where the commentators say things about you like "..and dwells on 'social phobic' sites as 'Argammemnon'... ".

And, to top it all off, in commemoration of your visit, your picture is used on billboards advertising for the brothel, next to the phrase "I've never tried anywhere else!"

So picture that. And if you can handle that, well, then I can't convince you not to go. Good luck, and let us know how it goes...

 

[Argamemnon]

When I saw those two stunning brunettes, I couldn't even look more than a few seconds in their eyes. Maybe I should wear a mask and go for it.

 

[Nabu]

"CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 1,000,000 TH CUSTOMER!"

Exposure therapy and shame attacks are very helpful - at least for me.

 

[PlaceboEffect]

Getting a hooker is just a band aid solution, it doesn't address the real problem.

 

[incomplete_person]

you know the body is prettier with the clothes still on.

What do you mean?

When a person takes their clothes off there is no mystery. There is no more anticipation because there it is in all it's glory. On the other hand, stockings are sexy, and so are high heels, and lacy lingerie. The pose a person is in is sexy. A dance is sexy. Touch is sexy, and words can be sexy too... but the body is just a body.

I am not my body. I am the person controlling my body.


and I dont say that as a christian because im not christian so dont think im trying to convert you or anything. :wink:

When you care about somebody you want to do all of those things for them. You want to wear those nice things, and you want to dance, and touch, and talk... god you talk for hours and hours. Those are the things that make sex feel good. When i have a girlfriend I love having sex with her. It feels good because I care a lot about her. When I am single sex really sucks and to be honest I really dont much bother with it. My hand does a better job...

the difference isn't just in the number of orgasms, but the clear intensity of the orgasm... honestly, a hooker cannot give that to you... or rather she can but she wont; you are just a "trick" and she is just doing her job.

Getting a hooker is just a band aid solution, it doesn't address the real problem.

exactly


You deserve better than that, Argamemnon.

 

[sabbath92002]

You don't pay a hooker for sex, you're paying her to leave after the sex