Should I quit my course advice please

[KiaKaha]

I feel a bit down with my situation. I need some help please. I am a student and I have been thinking about quitting. I study programming and IT and have been for about two years. Part of the problem is that I am unable to focus and take what I need to learn in. Because of this I cant pass my exams. The bigger problem though is that... Its been made quite clear that I am not welcome at my course.

For example today, I asked for a practice exam. So the tutor came over and literally threw it on my desk and walked off without a word. But thats not the worst of it..

Every time I walk in there, I can see in their faces how obviously dissapointed that I even exist. The tutors dont say hello, and they even roll their eyes with contempt at me when I approach them for help (I get that a lot). Its really hard to explain because it all sounds so trivial and lame...but this is a real thing for me and is causing me great distress. I get intimidated by students as well... I had one guy push my chair (he made it look like an accident, but there is a HUGE space between where he was walking and where I was sitting) Another guy is leaning over me as he is chatting to his mate etc etc...

Its all about body language rather than outright rudeness... but the message is clear... **** OFF.

I could go on and on with examples but I hope you all get the picture. Obviously I am coming across to people badly, but they dont KNOW me and I deserve to be treated like a person just like anyone else. Its beginning to make me feel angry and unhappy, and its festering inside me...making me appear like more and more like some kind of...freak...I dont know...

Anyway..part of me wants to finish, because if I quit, I will be harming my future... but if I stay... well, it may just kill me.

 

[Wishmaster]

I can empathize with you a little bit I think... I have been in classes where I didn't feel very welcome; sometimes it's difficult for me to keep up with the material in my classes as well if I'm in one of my "dips".

I would recommend that you don't quit your course if it's a subject you really want to pursue. Maybe you could explain to your tutors that you are really trying but life is just making things difficult? I don't really know all of the situation so maybe that wouldn't work well for you... Is it difficult to focus because the classroom feels like a hostile environment?

 

[Confuseddd]

If i were you i would start by showing your tutor that you care about the class. You could do this by talking to him after class and explaining to him the troubles you go through. Also it might be hard but if someone is blatantly being rude to you then you must stick up for yourself. It is very difficult for me to do that but once i have i usually feel alot better about the situation and myself sense i am sticking up for my sensibilitys.
good luck to you man, and on another note you definitly should not leave the class. Focus more of your energy on the class and just get it done because i know you can do it. Dont let your anxiety win, not only for you but for all of us here and around the world. Winning one battle at a time

 

[Kat]

I have been in situations like that before my anxiety makes people think I dislike them but my feelings aren’t personal I am just very uncomfortable in those situations and it gets interpreted as something very negative.

I’d suggest maybe doing the course long distance or if you want to go in at least once in a while maybe you could do it part time off campus. You can find long distance courses through seek.com.au that’s for Australia but I am sure they would have something like that for New Zealanders as well.

I am sorry I can’t recommend for other countries but I wouldn’t be sure if they were legitimate or not but if any Aussies are interested another good long distance studies website is About us - Open Universities Australia

 

[hoddesdon]

Perhaps it may help to tell the staff about your medical condition. As Kat said "my anxiety makes people think I dislike them but my feelings aren’t personal I am just very uncomfortable in those situations and it gets interpreted as something very negative". Explaining that may help. In Australia the Disability Discrimination Act 1992 covers this sort of situation. However, you must notify the other party that you have a disability. Does New Zealand have similar legislation? If so, you could take the matter to the management if you get nowhere with the staff in question and point out that what is happening is actually illegal.

 

[punklove]

Your right you deserve to be treated like a person just like anyone else. If I were you I'd talk to the tutors about the negative environment that your in and how there attitude towards you affects your mental health and your ability to concentrate. I really don't think you should quit because then you'll probably feel even worse for giving up. When your in that class just pretend your in your room by yourself.. no matter how hard that could be and completly ignore everyone. I really hope everything works out for you ^^

 

[Aussie_Lad]

"Part of the problem is that I am unable to focus and take what I need to learn in. Because of this I cant pass my exams."

This says it all to me. It is obvious you are struggling, and that can be quite frustrating for the teacher. A teachers job is made hard by people that don't pick things up as quickly as others do. This isn't to say that the problem lies with you though, because the teacher has responsibility to ensure that you have the opportunity to learn as much as the other students do. Is there someone you can talk to at the Uni / College that may be able to help, maybe a head teacher or guidance counsellor etc?