bigDean636
Active member
Anyone else find that every time you are attracted to a girl, she is magically "out of your league"? This plagues me, and I was curious about other guys (and girls!) experiences too.
"She's out of my league"
- Thread starter bigDean636
- Start date
I feel as if everyone is out of my league.
A "league" is, at least in this case, a metaphor. Are you going to let a metaphor stand between you and whoever it is you have a crush on? I certainly wouldn't, and didn't.
And why would everyone else be out of your league, when you could just as easily be out of everyone else's league? If that makes sense...
And who says we're divided into "leagues" anyway? I certainly didn't, and that makes it completely and totally false.
And why would everyone else be out of your league, when you could just as easily be out of everyone else's league? If that makes sense...
And who says we're divided into "leagues" anyway? I certainly didn't, and that makes it completely and totally false.
CK23
Well-known member
Dude it's just the way we feel about someone we like... We have Social Anxiety and we feel inferior cos of it... I can relate to this cos i am experiencing the same thing...I have a work place friend, whose super smart, super confident, very mature and intelligent and i feel small each time i meet her... i love being with her but then the 'out of my league' phrase kicks into gear...
Richey
Well-known member
\CK23 said:
I used to work at a restaurant, there were lots of staff on during any given shift and i had a friend i liked and talked to but because she was super confident and was friends with everybody i would suddenly come last when it came to being payed attention to, and it makes sense in a way because it seems normal to gravitate more towards the person that is more excitable and edgy on the outside ...
All the very tall and loud guys would come over and hug her, all the players i guess you could describe them especially because alof of the guys would take it in turns going out with all the other waitresses and female staff, it was very cozy there in that group ..
even at the staff functions i'd go but with alot of effort to talk to people it still wasn't enough compared to the companionship that the others had, i know its hospitality and very sociable types, show offs work in that industry so its a challenge for most people to get attention from others unless you really click with others, at the same time i never really met people on my wavelength either except for one friend i made in the pokies section who was into similar music and had a similar sense of humour and we both watched the same tv shows but he was so chatty he spent most of his time at work charming everyone with his knack of making people laugh so i didnt get much time to develop a proper friendship ..
its hard in certain environments particularly at work ...
I always walked out at the end of the night feeling like a failure, at least i tried but it wasnt enough to just feel comfortable ..
in that environment its intense though, your around cursing chefs, waiting staff walk in on you in the middle of conversation and your trying to still work at full pace, food preperation, 10-20 people around you all the time coming and going ..
Richey
Well-known member
bigDean636 said:
Yeh it happens all the time but for me its more towards making friends with them, what happens is i think i'm actually doing well and then i see them talking to other people and they become so comfortable and witty that they become a different person, and then i think to myself "i'm not really doing well at all am i" with this person or as well as i thought i was ...
it becomes a real wake up call and reality check in that i magnify my progress more then i should
my only tip is to keep trying and dont give up ...
CK23
Well-known member
I feel sorry that you have to go through this and not have a caring friend to lean on... If it makes you feel any better i can barely string two words together when i am near this really gr8 person...there was this one conversation that we had when i first joined and we totally hit it out of the park... since then though she's talking to others who have all been with her for a long time and she doesnt talk to me anymore... i feel like i've been knocked out in a boxing ring and i am about to die... 
HH
Well-known member
bigDean636 said:
Yep, this happens to me every time I like someone and its probably the reason I'm still single (and always have been single). There's a really nice girl who works at the library that I like but I'm getting these 'out of my league thoughts' again-MUST TRY HARDER
autumn_82
Well-known member
Psychedelicious said:
Haha--ditto. I'm always floored when a guy I think is really cute seems interested in me. I think it must be a mistake. Or now, after a certain messy experience I had, I get paranoid that he's just fishing for one of his friends. Of course, when I have no interest in the guy it's not suprising that he's interested. My pessimistic personality thinks, "Typical. Just my luck."
Dave_McFadden
Well-known member
bigDean636 said:
Magically, the population of the world's women cleave neatly into two groups: One group is the group of women I'm attracted to. The remainder is a group commonly referred to as "my league". So yeah I guess I'm finding the same thing you are.
When I'm attracted to a girl or have a crush on her I start feeling like she's the most beautiful girl in the world and that there isn't one better than here. When I start learning that she's doing better than me in life I start feeling inferior like I don't deserve her. I know it's irrational but it always happens.
bigDean636
Active member
You nailed it on the head. I actually have an interesting story.Dave_McFadden said:
It was my first day at a new job at a gas station and the girl that was training me was really cute. Since we were manning the cash registers, we had lots of time to talk. Over the course of the conversation, she asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I said no. I then asked her if she were seeing anyone and she said no. <Insert awkward silence #1 here>
But it gets better!
Later in the conversation, she mentioned a movie that had just come out, and how she wanted to go see it. I, of course, said nothing. <Insert AWKWARD silence #2 here>
/sigh
I've been telling myself that she was out of my league ever since.
theblank
Well-known member
Dave_McFadden said:
That's funny and I can relate. It seems like all of my life the women I like don't like me and the women that like me, I don't like.
I've also noticed that as I've gotten older the overwhelming majority of women are now automatically out of my league because of the kind of job I have, the fact that I don't own a home and that I don't have much money.
koyaanisqatsi
Well-known member
I often see girls that I find attractive. I'm a bit old, I guess... I've been through too much. I actually think I'm out of their league...better educated, more sophisticated in some ways, more accomplished in life. I don't actually view them as inferior or unworthy. I'm a SPic and, like I've said, I've been through too much, including too many failed relationships. I have no interest in starting a relationship with _anyone_ at this point. Even in my last three jobs, over 25 years, I was more than happy to leave work alone, saying nothing to anyone on my way out (or on my way in). Gotta understand, I've given up on overcoming SPia, my depression, having relationships. If I was young, I'd still be trying, albeit feebly. But I just want to live out my life now, and doing so alone is OK. Sure beats the pain I've inflicted on myself in the past.
Bittersweet
Well-known member
I am only attracted to guys who are out of my league, aloof and disinterested. I think it's a defense mechanism.
EnigmatiConduit
Well-known member
Usually "league" refers to physical appearance.. Not sure how you meant it though...
But i must comment on that anyway, i think it's ridiculous that people are thought of as worth more because of what they look like. "league" should be of personality, character, morals/values etc.. silly world
But i must comment on that anyway, i think it's ridiculous that people are thought of as worth more because of what they look like. "league" should be of personality, character, morals/values etc.. silly world
Wow, you guys dug up an old topic. I stand by my old post on the first page.