school/job struggles

[Falkor]

Hello,

I want to hear from others their's opinion about school struggles and job struggles.

It can be very hard for people with SA to go to school or to a job. I really want to know what you are going through.

When I was a child i always struggled going to school because of SA and insecurity. This reason I have never finished any school and have never gotten a diploma. I always quit because I could not handle it anymore. I never was able to make friends at school. I am at home right now, and i think: where is my future going to be?

I realy feel upset. And I want to talk to others who also struggle with school or have struggled.

Please tell me your experience.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Yes I've had trouble. I've been in college almost 5 years and still haven't graduated. I just sign up for a lot of classes now and drop the ones i can't stand. Language class has been terrible for me but i have to take it or i'll never graduate. Same with a job no one bothers talking to me and ppl feel awkward around me. The thing is i do go to school and work but it's total stress everyday. I just want to be able to finally graduate college so it will be less to think about. Even if it's hard, remember to push through it anyway since we were born lol

 

[jaim38]

School was terrible for me, for several years, but I recommend doing online classes. Online classes saved me from dropping out entirely. I was even considering for-profit schools, as a desperate measure, but thank God I didn't because I know they're scams. I recommend taking online classes and using your free time to improve your communication/social skills. Try volunteering.

 

[bluebells]

Ahh, already in high school I realized I wouldn't be able to get a job. I've sent my resume to several companies, I even visit companies sometimes to introduce myself but they are never interested. I am not interesting enough, I don't have the personality nor do I have the social skills or experience that they require.

I don't see how online classes would improve your communication and social skills. Do you actually communicate through webcam, mic or by text? If text, then I can't see how that would help. You need to be around other people in my opinion, experience life outside of the internet.

 

[jaim38]

Ahh, already in high school I realized I wouldn't be able to get a job. I've sent my resume to several companies, I even visit companies sometimes to introduce myself but they are never interested. I am not interesting enough, I don't have the personality nor do I have the social skills or experience that they require.

I don't see how online classes would improve your communication and social skills. Do you actually communicate through webcam, mic or by text? If text, then I can't see how that would help. You need to be around other people in my opinion, experience life outside of the internet.

I agree, but I think it's important for people with severe SA to start safe initially. How many times have we jumped into a pool of people, only to find ourselves making the same mistakes over again, being humiliated/embarassed/ostracized, and wondering what the heck went wrong? For some people, frequent social exposure doesn't help. It's time to change strategies. It would help if such people go into social situations with some sort of agenda/plan and realistic expectations of what they should get out of it. Bonus points if they have a coach/mentor to guide them through the whole process.

My SA stems partly from trauma and partly from genetics/enviromental upbringing, so just throwing myself at people doesn't help. The way I try to conquer my SA is to start socializing online (i.e. on forums, take online classes, etc), work my way up to phone/skype calls, and when I'm ready, challenge myself with in person interactions.

 

[squidgee]

I go to high school right now. Most days aren't too bad, but I'm certainly not having the time of my life. Stress and anxiety are commonplace, but it's only on a small number of days when the anxiety really gets unreasonable and out of hand. I've always made decisions at school just to accommodate my anxiety, for example I'd always either get the early train or late train to school, never the 'normal' train that everybody else gets on.

I'll probably struggle with getting a secure job as well. I can see myself getting the required qualifications for a job, but I lack the ability to communicate well and other social skills. I'm also scared that if in a job interview, an employer asks me about my personal hobbies and interests, I will blank out, not because I don't know the answer, but because I would be too ashamed to answer honestly.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I have always struggled with school and work. I didn't feel like I had a choice in regards to attending high school, which is why I was able to finish. College has been a monumental task over the past 14 years...but now I am almost done (hopefully).
Job-wise, I completely lack confidence, which concerns me in terms of advancement. I am hoping that when I am done with school, I will be able to focus more on work and work my way up.
Currently, I am skipping class because I didn't feel prepared this morning, and am becoming increasingly anxious about going to work this afternoon.

 

[spider04]

I also feel that I don't have a choice so I'm forcing myself to go to everyday, I go to uni now and I live 10 minutes away from school but it's busy around here and I have anxiety walking to school everyday. And when I'm there I have an uncanny feeling, like I'm hated. Things were going well until they decided to split our class, I had a "friend" I would talk to in class and that made me feel a bit comfortable and made it easier to concentrate in class, we would discuss about certain things at times. But now I'm just alone again and bored, don't have as much interest as before. This is how things are going to be most of the time.

 

[dottie]

Huge struggles and setbacks. Every day.

Be a fighter. You have to want something so bad that you will do anything for it. No one else can do it for you. Do not expect people to feel sorry for you when the opportunity was there for the taking and you let it pass by.

And by "you" I don't just mean the OP... I mean "you" in general, including myself.

 

[Falkor]

Thank you all for your experiences. I can tell that SA is a big influence on struggles with school and jobs. I wish there were special SA universities and SA jobs..

 

[Jessquietgirl]

School was and is terrible for me. Never got along with people and I'd always get stalked by some random creep.