Saying hi to people.....

Jannah

Banned
I am scared of saying hi to people, even people I somewhat know. I think I am scared of the rejection or humiliation if that person doesn’t say hi back, also I don’t like brining attention to myself and it seems that’s exactly what you do when you say hi to someone. I have no problem talking to people or even starting conversations if the timing is right, but yet I am so scared to say a simple hi, I just look down or think they are too busy or wouldn’t notice me if I said hi to them. I find it kind of embarrassing saying hi to people, I don’t know why. I spoke to this one guy last week after class, we had a little conversation. The next day I didn’t even notice him or bother to look for him as I walked in the class to say hi. I look down or at any available seats when I walk in a classroom anyways, I don’t look at people. But I am thinking how every time I go all the way to the back of the room to sit, I pass him and I never make eye contact with him, I could nod or something I suppose.

This “saying hi” thing has always been an issue with me, even in jobs I had, but I have to say it is a bit easier at work but I still have that anxiety. But school…forget about it, it seems too personal to say hi to someone I don’t even know. I go to a community college and the kids mostly socialize with people they already know, they aren’t that friendly with strangers, I kind of hate that about my school.

Maybe it’s a psychological thing, like I unconsciously think I am not worthy or “cool” enough to be acknowledged, like I automatically assume the worst, or I think that by saying hi I am somehow swallowing my pride.

Does anyone else have this problem?
 

Diend

Well-known member
Exact...same...situation...wow.

When I say "hi" and get "rejected", my initial thought would be "it's cool" but then the next few thoughts would be about me beating myself up and feeling embarrassed. So although I mentally know it is okay, I still can't use this information to end the self beat-up.
 

SNB1501

New member
Well no but sometimes I do have trouble replying to a person or when they say "hi" I say "hi" but can't really say something after and so theres abit tension and so sometimes I feel the best way is just to keep words to yourself
 

lunaticbinge

Well-known member
I'm terrible at hellos and goodbyes. Both are incredibly awkward for me. People often think me rude when I don't acknowledge them every time I see them, but I can't help it. It's always been the worst at jobs as everyone always cheerily greets each other, but I am always incapable of that.
 
Last edited:

UnOccupied

Well-known member
When i am feeling my anxiety, i have a REALLY hard time at this. When walking to class, i get SO SCARED about seeing people i might know. I get so worked up over seeing someone i know. I start to fear they think im an a** hole for not saying high to them, so i just kind of look the other way, and hope they don't notice me. Its a similar situation, but my fear mainly stems from my fear of feeling like i have to say hello, or else people will think im a jerk. Its debilitating, and keeps me form being able to pay attention when i actually get to class.
 

Acegame

Well-known member
In some situations this is also very hard for me. For example when the person you know is not noticing you at first because he is looking another way. Then for me its very hard to say (or yell) hi. In that situation its very tempting to ignore that person. Usually i do say hi but because im so tense it sounds like there is something wrong with my voice or it comes across badly.

Also when leaving a group of people and saying goodbye to them is hard for me. I just don't know what to say then or how loud.
 

SilverFire

Well-known member
Yeah, I'm like this too. I only say hi to people if they notice me first; otherwise, I feel like I'm intruding on their space. This is unless I know them well or if I have something else to say to them, then it's no problem. I'm very conscious of disturbing other people and I try not to do it. I think this originally stemmed from my lack of self-esteem, because I viewed myself as a disturber, as an unwelcome intrusion, as someone people didn't want to hang around, and because of this, saying hi felt like an imposition.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
I often try just not to be noticed, avert my eyes, etc. If they want to say hi, they can say it first.

Except I often have trouble saying hi back in these situations. I also have trouble saying it loudly enough to be heard. I've gotten yelled at for not saying hi back when I actually did before. >,<
 

arsenalwa

Well-known member
I often try just not to be noticed, avert my eyes, etc. If they want to say hi, they can say it first.

Except I often have trouble saying hi back in these situations. I also have trouble saying it loudly enough to be heard. I've gotten yelled at for not saying hi back when I actually did before. >,<

Same here ::(:
 

THE-INTROVERT

Well-known member
i have no problem saying hi but because i live in a small town i have notice the complete wankers that think there better than me so im just not going to bother with them anymore at least theyll get the message then i dont give a **** who you think you are
 

UnOccupied

Well-known member
I often try just not to be noticed, avert my eyes, etc. If they want to say hi, they can say it first.

Except I often have trouble saying hi back in these situations. I also have trouble saying it loudly enough to be heard. I've gotten yelled at for not saying hi back when I actually did before. >,<

Wow, that is VERY interesting. It is so interesting how all of us socially anxious people have our troubles in social situations, yet they are so different.

Like, for me, i get really scared when passing others i have to say hi to. But, it is not because i feel like im intruding, or because im scared to bother them. I just get scared that they will think im a jerk, or impolite, or extremely cocky and rude if i dont say hi to them. This is especially hard for me, because i go to a college thats a medium size(5000 students), so i know a LOT of people, but i know very few of them well. So, there is a LOT of people whose names i dont know or barely know, and i get so overwhelmed with whether or not i am obligated to say hi to them, what they will think of me, if im appearing nervous when saying hi, if they really just do actually think i am a jerk and dont want any part of my conversation. So many anxieties in these situations, that are all so far from the truth, AHHH.

BUT, THE ABSOLUTE WORST, is when this happens, BUT. I spot the person walking towards me from maybe like 100 feet away. This is the WORST, because i dont know if i should wave first, then say hi, or maybe make eye contact first, to let them know i see them, then say hi when i get close, or if i should stop and have a quick talk with them, or if they realize im thinking all these crazy things. Haha, sounds funny how stupid it is for me to think this when i write it out on paper. Thanks for helping me out here! Soooo silly these thoughts i have..OK, i AM DONE with my schpiel.
 
Top