Reasons wich cases Avoidant personality disorder?

[DespairSoul]

Hello all,


What do you think about reasons wich can case Avoidant personality disorder?
Sugest me some reasons and write me little about your self how was starting.
When u was seeing first problems, did have it someone in your family those issues? THANK U::

 

[planemo]

What can cause an avoidant personality?

I can think of a few things...
Feelings of:
inadequacy, victimization, inappropriateness, shame, being different, inferiority, doubt and helplessness.

Fears of:
humiliation, ridicule, failure, harsh/unfair treatment, rejection and criticism.

I think one then avoids situations which bring up these feelings and fears because they make one feel nervous and insecure.

I had most of these feelings and fears, but to give you answer as to why, is beyond me. I'm not sure why I had them, I just know that they were always there. Maybe someone can bring up a reason or two as to what contributed to their self same feelings. As for anyone else in my family. I think that my mother lived with a lot of fear of rejection and I know that my dad is a very overbearing and critical person. I suppose being brought up by two such people probably shaped my mind and personality and lead to this avoidant behaviour. I still avoid my dad to this day, not so much out of fear but just because he's a very negative person.

 

[Lionheart]

.............

 

[joyce]

Thank you very muchand thanks to DespairSoul
I think what I would like to know are the reasons for avpd.I mean I want know why people get this disorder.

amazing thing

 

[Kato]

I echo your lives in many ways. The one common aspect every apd (perhaps 99%?)person has is the parent figure(s) that mentally abuse the child. This in order leaves the the child to be susceptible to apd. Does not mean the child will become one but sure raises your risk ~ a hundred fold. Given other factors you can climb down further in severe difficulties in life.

 

[Lionheart]

................

 

[DespairSoul]

emu_noodles,

Thank u for perfect expressing about avpd. I relate to parents what u have and my mom was to whole live fearing be rejected but also she is critical and always she think her opinion is right and im failure with it what i say. Otherwise she had issues a lot with my dad, they had bad bad marriage.And she didnt had so easy childhood and this everything could affect her too. I think Avpd could case genetic influencess but sensitivity on outside world,like u feel u dont fit in cuz of some reasons.

-hyper sensitivity on outside world
-severe low self-esteem
-fear of rejection and being diffrent
-bad experiences and environment

 

[planemo]

-hyper sensitivity on outside world
-severe low self-esteem
-fear of rejection and being diffrent
-bad experiences and environment

That's brilliantly put... I think we can all relate to those four points. But now we have to ask why those four things were able to influence us. I suppose we could be predisposed due to genetics and due to our environment.

 

[philly2bits]

I echo your lives in many ways. The one common aspect every apd (perhaps 99%?)person has is the parent figure(s) that mentally abuse the child. This in order leaves the the child to be susceptible to apd. Does not mean the child will become one but sure raises your risk ~ a hundred fold. Given other factors you can climb down further in severe difficulties in life.

Where did you get that from? I've never read anywhere that said 99% of those with Avpd had been mentally abused by a parent.

 

[lurknomore]

Where did you get that from? I've never read anywhere that said 99% of those with Avpd had been mentally abused by a parent.

I've never read any statistics, but I've read almost everywhere I've looked that parental and/or peer rejection is a main factor. In my case, I'm sure it wasn't my parents, but I don't remember any specific incidents with peers- I think I always felt picked on/teased by my siblings, maybe that's it.

 

[philly2bits]

I've never read any statistics, but I've read almost everywhere I've looked that parental and/or peer rejection is a main factor. In my case, I'm sure it wasn't my parents, but I don't remember any specific incidents with peers- I think I always felt picked on/teased by my siblings, maybe that's it.

I can understand rejection as a child having a big affect. Teasing and bullying by peers too. But abuse by a parent is a whole other level to that.

 

[lurknomore]

I can understand rejection as a child having a big affect. Teasing and bullying by peers too. But abuse by a parent is a whole other level to that.

I agree- and I'm sure that Avpd is not the only possible outcome for a child abused in such a way. What is puzzling to me is that I am this way without any seemingly significant contributing factors- teasing by siblings/peers I would think is a normal part of growing up, but perhaps some of us just have an oversensitivity, and it doesn't take much to trigger our avoidance. Or maybe I was at least partly born this way- I've never, even as a young child, been particularly close to any particular individual- I've kept myself emotionally guarded for as long as I can remember.

 

[DespairSoul]

That's brilliantly put... I think we can all relate to those four points. But now we have to ask why those four things were able to influence us. I suppose we could be predisposed due to genetics and due to our environment.

I think my mom had also bad pregnacy time and she was very stressed and crying out. Baby need peace so it is. No argues and crying. What about entire blood? They do have similar issues? Because my dont. Just me. Ridiculous is i worry about environment like about whole world is wrong or something, even if im not in it.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Me? Always had AvPD.
Triggers have been listed here.
Solidified AvPD in elementary years. Words will never hurt, eh. Sure, but they can warp and destroy a child's mind.

 

[planemo]

I think my mom had also bad pregnacy time and she was very stressed and crying out. Baby need peace so it is. No argues and crying. What about entire blood? They do have similar issues? Because my dont. Just me. Ridiculous is i worry about environment like about whole world is wrong or something, even if im not in it.

Well my parents are fairly outgoing. My mum is on the insecure side, but she talks to people and interacts with them etc. My dad, well he never stops talking (unfortunately), so i doubt he feels insecure around people. My brother is a bit like me, but he doesn't really suffer from anxiety. He's on the insecure side, but nowhere near like me. My sister too is quite insecure, but again she doesn't have anxiety like me. I think we are all worriers in one way or another, but i worry the most by far. ::

as for relatives on both sides, they are all completely different. None of them have anxiety or any types of social phobia/avpd.

 

[DespairSoul]

Well my parents are fairly outgoing. My mum is on the insecure side, but she talks to people and interacts with them etc. My dad, well he never stops talking (unfortunately), so i doubt he feels insecure around people. My brother is a bit like me, but he doesn't really suffer from anxiety. He's on the insecure side, but nowhere near like me. My sister too is quite insecure, but again she doesn't have anxiety like me. I think we are all worriers in one way or another, but i worry the most by far. ::

as for relatives on both sides, they are all completely different. None of them have anxiety or any types of social phobia/avpd.

My mom is solitary and she dont fit to public like to public sometimes i doubt if she isnt schizoid and paranoic so much being hurt of others then she better dont spend time with them, she never had much frends in her live, because she dont want to have them because on everyone she see it mistakes and bad things, i guess coz of being paranoic not feeling safe, in work they was hurting her people a lot and she was anyway able to do it go work every each day after day. My mom always dislike go parties and pubs. Father was pretty outgoing but drinking a lot. Sis are fine only one of them was saying to me that she had less self-esteem and feeling nervouss on places where is more people. But not anxiety. I hear stories from entire blood of my mom that with my mom wasnt something ok if she were small. Also her brother had some psychic issues,sister and her aunt. Sooo...

 

[CaptainDaveBeard]

I'm fairly certain my avoidance issues i have now are a lot to do with having a bad stutter as a kid especially around starting secondary school.i would do anything to get out of going,bunk off,making myself sick,i even faked a sprained ankle to get out of drama .man school was a not good time::

 

[JamesSmith]

The main reasons i can think of are fear and PTS (Post-traumatic stress). There are a lot of things you can be afraid of: failure, embarrassment, being different or weird, not having anything to say, saying the wrong things, not enjoying yourself, or even getting beat up for doing something wrong. I think PTS is a big factor for myself because my mind recognizes that things went bad in the past and I'm afraid those things will happen again, and I don't want to feel bad like I did before.

 

[Mercedes]

I haven't been diagnosed with it but think PTSD is a factor in developing it for me as well. Environmental factors, in my case, for AvPD. Hypersensitivity also a contributing factor.