Questions from a Newbie with a story

[WatershipDown]

Boyfriend invited me to a family dinner. Everything was fine, they thought I was shy but I didn't make a fool of myself in any way and that's always a plus.

My boyfriend then proceeded to add onto his brother's jokes but threw me in.

This is when it got bad.

I was getting a bit upset because he doesn't know when to stop trying to one-up whatever he said before and his words got more and more hurtful. I started to breathe oddly and my eyes watered and he called me a liar because I couldn't remember something at the moment.

My breathing got worse and I quickly retreated to the kitchen, pretending to get a drink but freaking out and chugging as much ice water as I could get down my throat. He never called me a liar before, his joking never got so far that he was constantly attacking my character. I couldn't feel my hands and I ran to his car while his brother, sister, and mother were there watching me cry.

I blew it in front of my boyfriend's family.

I couldn't feel my feet after awhile and my head was light, almost like I was going to faint.

Did any of you ever get numbness in your hands or feet from a attack? Have you ever fainted? What's it from? What can I do to not ever do that again?

 

[starburst]

That sounds awful. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you felt? Do you know why he called you a liar?

I get numbness in my toes, and I've fainted once before when I couldn't handle the stress of a certain situation that was out of my control. Breathing exercises might help or look into mindfulness.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Boyfriend invited me to a family dinner. Everything was fine, they thought I was shy but I didn't make a fool of myself in any way and that's always a plus.

My boyfriend then proceeded to add onto his brother's jokes but threw me in.

This is when it got bad.

I was getting a bit upset because he doesn't know when to stop trying to one-up whatever he said before and his words got more and more hurtful. I started to breathe oddly and my eyes watered and he called me a liar because I couldn't remember something at the moment.

My breathing got worse and I quickly retreated to the kitchen, pretending to get a drink but freaking out and chugging as much ice water as I could get down my throat. He never called me a liar before, his joking never got so far that he was constantly attacking my character. I couldn't feel my hands and I ran to his car while his brother, sister, and mother were there watching me cry.

I blew it in front of my boyfriend's family.

I couldn't feel my feet after awhile and my head was light, almost like I was going to faint.

Did any of you ever get numbness in your hands or feet from a attack? Have you ever fainted? What's it from? What can I do to not ever do that again?

Thats when jokes get out of hand. I never liked malicious, crude jokes. Im sorry it just sounds so awful

 

[Srijita52]

That's awful. I'm sorry. Maybe you can talk to him about how his behaviour hurt you?

 

[Hoppy]

I know exactly how you feel.

Maybe it's time to get a new boyfriend?

 

[Xervello]

That sucks, WD. It sounds like you had a panic attack. Courtesy of wiki again: Panic attack - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Scroll down to the second paragraph. That about it? I take it from your reaction this was the first time you ever experienced anything like this. I never have, so I can't really help, sorry. I'm a newbie here, but I'm sure there are other members who can be more informative.

By the way, I'm sure your boyfriend is nice (or otherwise why would you be with him) but that was a dick thing for him to do.

 

[Ignace]

Maybe your boyfriends doesn't even know it hurts, some ppl just mess with others without having any bad meanings. But definitely talk to him about it.

 

[Srijita52]

Maybe your boyfriends doesn't even know it hurts, some ppl just mess with others without having any bad meanings. But definitely talk to him about it.

Yeah I've a friend who does the same but she stops when made aware about it.

 

[WatershipDown]

Yeah I've a friend who does the same but she stops when made aware about it.

He definitely stopped but it was when I was already in tears. When he got to the car I couldn't talk because I was gasping for breath and trying to figure out if I had asthma or something though it seems like it was a panic attack (thanks for the wiki Xervello). I thought it was something wrong with me because he kept repeating that I need to take a joke, he was joking, i'm too sensitive, etc.

He's a sweetheart but when he's around people and trying to impress, he is different than when he's just with me. He's the more outgoing type that can get along well with anyone and is confused when I act differently than him (how I get panicky, dizzy, and cling to him when there's too many people around).

Every time I try to talk to him about it I get teary and choke on my words all over again and I need to keep a level head or else he's going to write me off as being too sensitive. Looking up breathing exercises (thanks starburst) and i'm going to try to talk to him after I figure out how to calm down that way.

 

[Srijita52]

He definitely stopped but it was when I was already in tears. When he got to the car I couldn't talk because I was gasping for breath and trying to figure out if I had asthma or something though it seems like it was a panic attack (thanks for the wiki Xervello). I thought it was something wrong with me because he kept repeating that I need to take a joke, he was joking, i'm too sensitive, etc.

He's a sweetheart but when he's around people and trying to impress, he is different than when he's just with me. He's the more outgoing type that can get along well with anyone and is confused when I act differently than him (how I get panicky, dizzy, and cling to him when there's too many people around).

Every time I try to talk to him about it I get teary and choke on my words all over again and I need to keep a level head or else he's going to write me off as being too sensitive. Looking up breathing exercises (thanks starburst) and i'm going to try to talk to him after I figure out how to calm down that way.

I'm sure he's a nice guy but he needs to respect your feelings. Make it clear to him that you're not okay with him hurting you. If he says that you're being too sensitive, tell him that you understand he's just joking but he's going too far and you don't find it amusing.

 

[dragonoth]

He says you're being too sensitive? Sounds like he's being too insensitive to you, more like. He should be supporting you not blowing off your problems just because they might be inconvenient to him or whatever.

 

[Sup Phyl]

It's great that you've spoken to him about your problems.
But I am going to make an assumption, please correct me if I'm wrong and I apologise if I am, that you have low self esteem (typically inherent in SA sufferers). If I am right then the last thing you need is having a boyfriend who makes you feel bad when he should be making you feel better about yourself. I can understand how difficult it is (having been in similar situations myself, not as bad as yours appears though) but if you have trouble speaking to him about something so important to you then maybe he isn't someone you need in your life at the moment, especially if he is only going to bring more negativity into it.
Hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do.

 

[starburst]

I'm sure he's a nice guy but he needs to respect your feelings. Make it clear to him that you're not okay with him hurting you. If he says that you're being too sensitive, tell him that you understand he's just joking but he's going too far and you don't find it amusing.

I agree. He really needs to be more supportive regarding your SA.

I hope the breathing exercises help. Took me a while to master when I was in panic mode. So don't be discouraged if it takes some time to get used to.