Question for the singles.
- Thread starter Nack
- Start date
iamthenra
Well-known member
Yes, I believe that it would help me out allot. For me, my main issue is depression. I'm depressed because I am single, and it's kind of a catch 22... If you are depressed, nobody wants to hang out with you, so people avoid you... and that causes the depression to get worse or just continue... It's an inanimate loop of depression and people avoiding you... If someone where to break that loop by becoming my girl friend, then I probably wouldn't be depressed and then I would be more inviting towards others...???
Iseesky
Well-known member
I think certain aspects of my problems would go away, but others would make themselves more apparent. I would definitely have major anxiety whenever it comes to seeing my boyfriend. Of course, that would go away once I got to know him better, but still...Just the anxiety I would have to go through to get there would be Hell!
Tempus35
1
Lol the first time I would get together with a girl, the anxiety would be through the roof.
Iseesky
Well-known member
It's absolute Hell! lol I was panicking everyday for a week before I went on my first date! Ended up being an idiot and wasn't worth the stress. Either way though. Ughhh!
I thought that getting a gf would help me! But it didn't happen that way. She ended up cheating on me which totally devastated whatever confidence i did gain from her. Plus you end up losing alot more then just her. You end up losing the social life you gain from her which makes it harder to deal with as well.
You really have to be happy and comfortable with yourself before you can have a successful relationship. SA drags alot of problems into the relationship and puts alot of stress onto it, especially if the partner doesn't understand what it is!
You really have to be happy and comfortable with yourself before you can have a successful relationship. SA drags alot of problems into the relationship and puts alot of stress onto it, especially if the partner doesn't understand what it is!
I've had them and it doesn't solve anything. It amplifies my problems for me actually and creates this big mess out of me and my feelings. I'm to insecure for a boyfriend and I know this. But since figuring this out and figuring myself out a bit more, I realize that I'm fine being by myself for right now because I'm never really alone. It does suck seeing people with their partners but I want to work on myself and becoming a better person so I can make a good significant other for someone else before I rush into relationships again.
I think about the guys I've liked and dated, all of them either got tired of waiting for me to come around or didn't like the fact that I had SA so they left. I deserve better and I'd like to wait for someone who will take the time and wait for me.
I agree with all of you, well most of ya anyway. I just thought it was interesting, how many people were saying, "If only I have a partner." or somewhat along the line of that. They wouldn't be a SP or whatever... But the more i thought about it, its just not only you that you have to think about. Its the other person too. Of course our imagination twist that **** around and feel like the other person is healthy and perfect. But the fact is that, everyone has their problems, and bringing someone into your life, when it is a mess, will only stress yourself more.
206Raider
Well-known member
Everybody has an idea in their head that something like a girlfriend will come along or just something will happen and you'll be miraculously better. No, I'm guilty of this too, this SA stuff takes steps and is hard. Having a girlfriend wouldn't make everything better, it can make you feel good but give you a lot more stress. There's good and bad in anything though, if you can get one - go for it. If not don't stress yourself.
Annmarie Edward
Member
You may become more comfortable with your date as time goes on. But general social skill and anxiety problem wouldn't vanish that easy. It takes some hard work.
lithiumflower
Well-known member
For me it would have to be the right person. A year ago I was in a relationship with some that truly didn’t understand what it was like to deal with SA, Depression and APD and while I tried to explain to the best of my abilities, it just didn’t work out. It’s just hard (for me anyway) to find someone patient and understanding.
The right one will be patient and understanding because if he is not, he is not the right one for you
If I was in a relationship, my problems wouldn't definitely go away..maybe at the begining it would be easier ..but then..when the relationship starts being serious then problems begin for me. Usually then boy wants to see me every day, he wants from me that I go maybe at his parents house..lunches and so on..he wants to take me to his friend weding for example..and lots of situations like that. He can' t understand that I can't always do it and that is why my last 2 realtionships failed. I am not sorry now beacause I know now that they were jerks.. :
: But If ever meet a boy who also have SA or at least understand it and deals with it good, that would be heaven for me..and then I think I can do almost everything! Some of you said that they are motivated when being in a relationship..it works for me too.
: But If ever meet a boy who also have SA or at least understand it and deals with it good, that would be heaven for me..and then I think I can do almost everything! Some of you said that they are motivated when being in a relationship..it works for me too.
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