I believe Gods real name is Satan... Maybe even Lucifer with the horns and pitchfork too... If there is a God, how could he / she allow so many of us to suffer throughout life, and most of us look forward to dieing just to relieve ourselves of the pain we hold inside. Sorry, just in one of those moods again.
I often feel that way too, though I'd not say that his name is Satan.. More that God's aspect is such that he puts his creatures under immense trials...
But I also believe that the trials are just within our ability to overcome them even when it never feels that way. And that these trials are there to show to ourselves the true nature of our character. Even if I don't believe in God, I definitely believe that only when a person is put to the test that his or her true character emerges. Beyond the programming of nature and nurture and the insanity of the world, there is something in the human being that is capable of changing for the better.
To meet trials with perseverance and grace. Well, I'm not here to debate because I do feel what you feel most of the time and I feel it very keenly. I'm forced to go to conscription, command men and be commanded, handle firearms... etc... And I really can't do that anymore... But if I don't, I go to prison.
Yet I've no money. No relationships. I'm anxious all my life and I can't even sleep at night. When I work, there are instances where I don't sleep at all for an entire week. It's that bad... I'm just saying this so that you know you're not the only one who feels that way about God or life.