Problems with work..

[Jimsie]

Hi,

I usually return to this forum every time my life takes a turn for the worse, usually because of social anxiety in some way or another. I am currently having problems at work and am posting maybe for advice but mostly as an outlet to people who might understand.

After finishing university over a year ago, I got a job straight away. I was very lucky to be offered it in my field so I accepted, even though this meant moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere.

Since then, I have realized although it is in the field I wanted to work in, it is mostly just the monkey work and getting paid peanuts for it. Also the stress of being in an office situation with SA is also a difficulty.

But one of my biggest concerns is that to get to my office I have to walk on a country road with no lighting and no pavement. I was scared that when it starts getting dark at night this could be very dangerous. I have told my parents about this to get advice and they told me to ask my boss to leave earlier. Knowing what the company is like i know that would never be an option.

So my parents decided to go behind my back and email my boss about it for me. My parents always treat me like i am still 10 years old which hasn't helped my SA. This is horrible when I try to spend all of my time seeming "normal". My boss was not impressed by this to say the least and he said how i get to work is not his problem.

Now, I am not sure if I should resign. If i do, then i might never get another job and will have to move back with my parents seeming even more like a child. I also hate the city I originally come from.

But here I feel completely lost, in a small town with no friends, no relationship, no family and a job I (mostly) hate. I am not quite sure where to go from here.

I have never had counseling. I recently tried to get CBT but apparently they would only see me once a week during work hours.. there is no way my company would allow for that. Is that really worth quitting my job for?

Sorry about all the text but any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[coyote]

wear one of these:

and these:

seriously - lots of people do where i live, for walking or running along the dark roads

 

[Agent_Violet]

buy one of these also...and then tell your parents to butt out of your professional life. They completely undermined you as an adult and made you look stupid in front of your boss. that is NOT cool and they need to cut the cord.

 

[Necrucifer]

I used to have to walk to work and cross a couple of highways and it took me about an hour just to get there and back also my mom drove me there and picked me up to sometimes.

Boss flipped out on me when he wanted me to stay and I said I dont have a ride because I was not gonna walk in heavy ice hitting rain home I love rain but nothing that stings constantly and then he was like I will take you home and I was like...nope screw you because he started off being a jerk for no reason.

So I left him with the rest of my work to do as well...I did not get in trouble for this he did haha karma wins...this was a year ago so haha...I still find it funny.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Your parents were out of line in doing what they did. You're not a child, and it's not their place to be interfering at your job.

Having said that, your boss sounds like a d*** with his "not my problem" attitude, so in your position I'd be looking for something else. I'd also try to time my leaving the company in such a way as to cause him maximum disruption and inconvenience. After all, that wouldn't be my problem.

 

[Jimsie]

Thanks for all of the replies.

I have made up my mind that I am going to quit my job. I am currently writing my resignation letter but I feel extremely anxious about it all.

I am not sure what the lesser of the 2 evils are. Going home and living with my parents who are quite negative and depressing to be around, while living in a city that I hate and feel unsafe in most of the time. With that there is also the possibility I wont be able to get another job in my field (graphic design) again.

Or continue living in a small town where I am lonely, have restrictions due to location and in a dead end, depressing job which pays just enough for me to live on.

I have been trying to find another job while currently employed but its very difficult, I have to give 1 month notice to book any time off work and most interviews wont wait that long. I also have to take in to account the time it takes me to job hunt and traveling since the jobs are dotted around the country.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Thanks for all of the replies.

I have made up my mind that I am going to quit my job. I am currently writing my resignation letter but I feel extremely anxious about it all.

I am not sure what the lesser of the 2 evils are. Going home and living with my parents who are quite negative and depressing to be around, while living in a city that I hate and feel unsafe in most of the time. With that there is also the possibility I wont be able to get another job in my field (graphic design) again.

I'm not sure what city (or country) you'd be in, but wouldn't there be more job opportunities in your field in a city than a small town? I'd have thought that most graphic design companies (especially the larger ones) would be based in cities.

Or continue living in a small town where I am lonely, have restrictions due to location and in a dead end, depressing job which pays just enough for me to live on.

I have been trying to find another job while currently employed but its very difficult, I have to give 1 month notice to book any time off work and most interviews wont wait that long. I also have to take in to account the time it takes me to job hunt and traveling since the jobs are dotted around the country.

Having to give a month's notice for a single day off sounds excessive. Fair enough if you wanted to take a couple of weeks off, but how much notice does it really take for them plan around your absence for one day?

 

[Richey]

From my experience 1 in every 5 jobs will suit you in some way, maybe its because the group of people you work with are really nice and helpful, it could be because the job role gives you plenty of satisfaction or it could be becasue of all of those things and the feeling of respect ...however 4 out of 5 times you may end up feeling miserable because of the opposite reasons ..

it's hard but it seems that people just seem to adapt well. i am always surprised how some people can stay at the same job for 5+ years full time. That is foreign to me because i do work hard but often things come up that leads me to exiting the job. This could be because i change my mind about working for the business after a certain period or my performance drops off because i like my free time it is also because i don't fit in as well as the others do in a group situation, usually.

Some people have the personality and can just adapt to be successful enough in a long career. But it takes a certain kind of really confident personality to do that well.

i don't think anybody has the answers, life is a risk and is an unpredictable journey, you can imagine something in your head and it may or may not happen ..

on one hand you want your independence but the challenge of being successful at your job is like climbing up a cliff at times ..

your parents should not be emailing or doing anything behind your back without your consent, you need to firmly inform them that you aren't happy that they did that.

 

[Necrucifer]

Your parents were out of line in doing what they did. You're not a child, and it's not their place to be interfering at your job.

Having said that, your boss sounds like a d*** with his "not my problem" attitude, so in your position I'd be looking for something else. I'd also try to time my leaving the company in such a way as to cause him maximum disruption and inconvenience. After all, that wouldn't be my problem.

I like this right here...I did that when I worked at walmart management didnt do a thing...we had a big truck come in on certain days I stayed the whole night did not do a thing and left them with all the work. This was before I quit of course soon after anyway I did.

 

[Jimsie]

I'm not sure what city (or country) you'd be in, but wouldn't there be more job opportunities in your field in a city than a small town? I'd have thought that most graphic design companies (especially the larger ones) would be based in cities.



Having to give a month's notice for a single day off sounds excessive. Fair enough if you wanted to take a couple of weeks off, but how much notice does it really take for them plan around your absence for one day?

Yeah, its surprising but i find that a lot of companies now are moving to rural locations since office space is cheaper. Also it seems that the companies in big cities are spoiled for choice on who they employ since most people want to live in big cities. Most job interviews I have had have been in secluded locations that have been difficult to get to.

I think they purposely make it difficult for people to take a single day off to stop them going to interviews which is very annoying. I have phoned in sick just so i could go to an interview before but there is only so many times i can get away with that.