Problem with showing my feelings

[magnolias]

I have a problem with communicating my feelings : especially the romantic ones. In fact, it's not just communicating them, it's also showing them. I've never told my friends which guys I was interested in, mostly because I thought they'd laugh at me and tease me for having feelings. And it's not because of my group of friends because they wouldn't do that, it's, I think, because I don't have enough confidence in myself to say that I like a person, because I wouldn't think for a second that that person would like me back, and I assume that my friends would know that and think it to themselves. And the problem is that I replicate that behaviour with people actually interested in me because I feel like if I flirt or show that I'm interested then it means that I'm weak or something like that. And if someone makes a comment about a relationship I have with a guy it makes everything worse because then I have to cut that person off of my life so they would think that I like that person enough to keep it in my life and basically that's why I'll die alone.

 

[worrier]

I know exactly what you mean! What I've discovered is that when you're around someone you're attracted to you can't help but flirt. Simply by blushing you're flirting. I have the same fears as you "why should I show that I'm attracted to someone, it's obvious that they won't be attracted to me back" And all those negative feelings... But someone will be and you just have to make sure you're around the people that you like and the rest will happen by accident. It worked for me.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I do exactly the same, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix that.

Very helpful heh?

 

[Flanscho]

Well, I think it depends on your age, the amount of experiences you made, and how willing you are to work on this.

 

[jaim38]

I never ever tell my friends who I have a crush on. Even if they confront me, I still deny it and never tell the truth.

One reason is because I don't trust them. I was afraid they'd go blab around to the entire school. Also I didn't want to embarass myself. If I have a crush on a popular guy I wouldn't want to risk it because I know the popular guy will reject me. If other girls have a crush on the same guy, I don't want to reveal my crush because then I'd be hated by those girls, which has happened before.

 

[Ithior]

I never ever tell my friends who I have a crush on. Even if they confront me, I still deny it and never tell the truth.

One reason is because I don't trust them. I was afraid they'd go blab around to the entire school. Also I didn't want to embarass myself. If I have a crush on a popular guy I wouldn't want to risk it because I know the popular guy will reject me. If other girls have a crush on the same guy, I don't want to reveal my crush because then I'd be hated by those girls, which has happened before.

I used to tell my friends who I had a crush on. It actually helped me getting to know those girls I had a crush on, because my friends would try to get us together (I was like 13 at the time).
I didn't like them telling the other person how I felt about them though. It was sort of crossing the line I guess. But it happened when I was around 14, I told a friend of mine I had a crush on some girl my friend told her. She didn't like me but she didn't treat me any differently after knowing, but the damage was already done.

After that I never managed to trust anyone, though I tried to. I managed to tell a friend of mine who I had a crush on (I was 18 I think), and she didn't tell anyone, but I still can't do it nowadays. I think the problem is no longer not trusting them, but rather being the centre of attention.

I believe that If I tell someone (in my case I'm pretty sure a whole group of 12 people would know about it) they'll ask all sorts of questions and in future encounters they will ask how things are going, which also makes me feel bad for not having done anything about it.