Hi, everyone.
I've decided to post a short introduction along with a few pictures. I hope it doesn't bore you all too much. If it does, you can always just skip to the pictures at the end.
Myself, I tried to read all the 26 previous pages, but ignored some of the personal attacks and arguements. :!:
My name is Carsten, and I am 20 years old.
I've been depressed and reluctant to go outside for about 3 years, give or take a few months.
After reading around a little bit, I discovered that every part of the wikipedia description of Avoidant Personality Disorder fit me perfectly. I intend to bring this up in my next therapy session.
I always come up with excuses not to face people, especially strangers, in person.
I've dropped out of school and attempted to try again a couple of times, but thus far, every attempt has failed.
I struggle to find motivation to go outside, when I can stay safe from judgement, and comfortable in my own home.
I got my own place a little over a year ago, and I've been leeching off my parents and welfare since then.
A few times, I've tried getting a job, but I end up being
too honest on my application, or not showing up for an interview because I'm scared and uncomfortable. Since I've never held onto a job more than a day, I'm at a disadvantage when looking for work. Employers would rather hire more experienced people with positive attitudes.
A few of my friends understand that I have a problem, and try to support me if they can, but most of them think I'm just lazy, and don't take it seriously.
Most of my time is devoted to watching TV-series and movies, aswell as playing some games on my computer, at home.
That went on a little longer than I'd expected, but it feels good to get it out there, even if only a few people read it.
Now, on to the pictures! (click on the thumbnails for larger versions)
This is me 4 years ago. I was 16. This is the last picture of me while I was happy and mostly problem free:
I'm in love with my own hair. It's the only part of myself that I'm comfortable with.
I've put on a lot of weight since then. I don't get much exercise, obviously, since I hardly ever go outside. I love tasty food. Also, I stopped growing at about 1.87 metres tall.
Here's me right now (picture taken tonight):
I have an awesome cat, currently being looked after by my father, his new wife, and my 3 younger brothers, since I live smack in the middle of a small town, and it's an outdoorsy cat.
Here's Constanze (named after a fictional character from a song):
I added some crazy photoshop filter to make her look more cartoony, and she's currently my desktop background.
Thanks for listening, and thanks to everyone for sharing their own pictures.