Positive side of Social Phobia

[ShyBeliever]

Hey guys. How are you doing? Hope you´re well

I was just wandering in youtube and found a video that in a certain way inspired me.

YouTube - The good things about having social phobia

I thinks hes got a point. Never thinked much about the positive things i got with SA. Instead of focusing in the negatives aspects lets focus in the positive side in this thread.

Can you list what positive aspects can we get through the effects of SA?

well i can help with some:

-my introvert personality helps me observe the world with different eyes. Im more of the observer kind and in a way i think i absorb beauty of life more deeply. I think a beautiful painting or landscape means more to me because of my introversion.

-by not having many friends i can set my routines more easily without the constant interference of others and i can focus in my hobbies more. Lets call this a special "SA freedom" that only people like us can get.

-our avoidance instinct can limit my life thats true, but in the other hand can spare me from much trouble. I know some extrovert people that lives in a chaotic world full of trouble and i thank god not being in their situation.

-in a way im a more indepent person. I know some friends that live for their girlfriends, other people are terrified of the fact of being alone..what do i mean is that i dont need so much other people to please myself, because im used to do things alone and entertain myself on my own.

Im sure i can spot more positive aspects of our "illness". The key is to try see the boottle half-full.

Please tell me what other good points can you find about SA!

Many kisses and hugs for everyone

 

[Felgen]

I can't think of anything that's even remotely positive about having social phobia...

 

[Array]

- It forced me to look deep within myself and find out what i really wanted from life
- It made me accept the fact that life is hard and you have to work for what you want
- Taught me how to become a positive person and throw negativity out of my life
- Taught me to stand up for myself and what i believe in

 

[Krista]

He makes some good points, thank you for sharing this

I agree, it's hard to find a silver lining when social phobia really makes you examine mostly the negative aspects of life but they are there, when and if you choose to see them. I don't like tooting my own horn(seriously) but I like to think I've always been a caring and compassionate person but with SA I think I see a lot deeper into others problems.

-I treasure what friends I do have and the support they lend to me.
-I think it helps shape you to be a better person, you're going to be less likely to put others down because obviously we know how that feels.
-Empathy is another big factor, although really you shouldn't have to have social phobia just to make you realize you should be kind to others.
-And in some cases you become more mature than most, your friends maybe. It puts you into perspective what others take for granted, what you'd like most in life and to prioritize how to get there.

Most of you that I've spoken with have dealt with serious issues at your home that no one should have to go through, things that have either increased your anxiety or even stemmed your SA but you see what NOT to do. How to treat your own children, what kind of parent you'd like to become because you have examples of what leads with that behavior. I won't say that we're any more deserving than someone else of attention or good deeds in the world but I think our nature allows us to be more open to them than most. And others see that, the good ones at least.
I don't want to speak for anyone of course but it's certainly made me feel that way ::

 

[Noca]

Only thing positive was meeting my good friends who have SA as well.

 

[davidburke]

i got to meet all you amazing people on here, thats one positive thing

 

[spect01]

I think it will protect you at certain times, and make you live a longer life and die at an older age.

 

[Alyosha]

The struggle of having SA has made me more compassionate for others. I know what its like to struggle. I think I am more sensitive then most this has given me a unique outlook on life. I tend to make few friends but the friends I do have I have kept for a long time so the relationships I have are rarely ever superficial. I don't have many conversations but when I do engage in conversation it has depth. These are some of the advantages I can think of.

 

[BlueDays]

Maybe i am just too negative a person, but for me, there is nothing positive i can think of, that could ever make having SA worth it!

 

[Krista]

Maybe i am just too negative a person, but for me, there is nothing positive i can think of, that could ever make having SA worth it!

Certainly not saying it's worth having SA to gain insight on yourself but I think the point is to grow and learn from having it. Sort of like, this is what you've been handed, you can either find the positives while you face it or sink in only the negatives.

 

[BlueDays]

Certainly not saying it's worth having SA to gain insight on yourself but I think the point is to grow and learn from having it. Sort of like, this is what you've been handed, you can either find the positives while you face it or sink in only the negatives.

I am sorry but after enduring SA for 29 years now: (age of 8 to 37), i was able to "grow and learn from having it" for about the first 10 years of having it. The next 19 years of it impacting on my adult life in bad/distressing ways have long since erased any positive benefit i may have originally gained from having it.

 

[brokenfingers04]

I agree with him. Having SA isn't all bad. It all depends on the people that surround you, past and present, that would have one feeling bad about thier situation.

 

[Krista]

I am sorry but after enduring SA for 29 years now: (age of 8 to 37), i was able to "grow and learn from having it" for about the first 10 years of having it. The next 19 years of it impacting on my adult life in bad/distressing ways have long since erased any positive benefit i may have originally gained from having it.

Well that's understandable, I'm sorry to hear that things haven't gotten better for you ::

 

[recluse]

Hmmmm! Positives?...Hyperhidrosis, panic attacks, no self esteem, fatigue, feeling inferior, no relationship ever, no friends, no life, no fun, depression........Social phobia is soooooo grrrrreeeattttt..........Not!

That guy in the video is nothing like a social phobic person, he's way too relaxed in that video.

 

[Danfalc]

That guy in the video is nothing like a social phobic person, he's way too relaxed in that video.

Ive met alot of people with social phobia,you actualy cant tell most people have it.I think anyone with this disorder would prefer not to have it and be "normal" whatever normal is.

But at the same time if we are stuck with it,we may aswell try and see some of the posatives.I mean social phobia has ruined my quality of life.But I can understand what hes saying,I'm so too hard on myself but at the same time that does push me harder to do things.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I think I've learned a lot of things about myself as a result of having it & I'm still learning things about myself. I've had years of introspection & solitude to do that & a lot of social people don't take the time to really learn about themselves because they're so busy living. That being said... I still want to live & my SA has been so bad it's kept me from doing that. I think people without SA can learn about themselves just as easily as people with SA, even if it means they have to take a little more time for themselves to do it. I would still choose to not have SA in order to have a more fulfilling life, even if it meant I had to work harder at really getting to know myself.

 

[philly2bits]

That guy in the video is nothing like a social phobic person, he's way too relaxed in that video.

SA effects people differently. It's hard to judge from a 4 minutes video just how bad he has it. He could have spent an hour building up confidence just to turn the camera on. Also he looks like he's alone in a big field. That may have relaxed him somewhat.

I will agree though that finding a "sliver lining" is very hard. It may very well be there, but of course the problems of SA can obscure it.

 

[zen~xen]

I'm not glad i got sa, but i wouldn't be half the person i am today if it wasn't for sa.

 

[Pink_Paula]

Although i'd much rather not have SA i do think i am more empathetic towards people, i'm more understanding and less likely to judge people, i give anyone a chance...as long as you are nice to me i'll be nice to you! But i also find that i listen to other peoples issues rather than dealing with my own, i think i prefer to help someone in whatever way i can, it makes me feel like i'm not a total waste of space.

 

[megalon]

The only positive for me personally that I can think of is that when growing up with no friends, I had no peer pressure to do drugs or drink. Although that doesn't seem to apply to many people on here.